"When Upon Life's Billows" is kinda fun at a gallop pace, but at funeral tempo? <shudder>
If I remember right, in a Protestant church it has kinda a dramatic ritard near the end, then a superspeedy race to the finish. It would have to be an old-fashioned Protestant church to even have it in the book.
Don't get me wrong, I love that song, even more now that I'm out of the church. But I can't for the life of me figure out what it means to Mormons, or why they love to sing it. "I will divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see..." Well, you know, if they are Mormon and full tithe payers and will feel very guilty about it and will do busy work for TSCC to make up for it and you don't ask me to actually care about anyone else who is poor and hugry and homeless because Brother Mitt says they have a safety net.
This was a favorite song of a good friend when I was TBM. Funny thing was that she was a democrat. I asked her once how she could be a democrat and a mormon and her reply was asking me how I could be a republican and a mormon.
The tune and pacing of this song is like nails on a chalkboard to me. It makes me squirm viscerally. I have actually the room to avoid hearing yet another grating verse of this monstrosity.
I love how they sing "Oh, how lovely was the morning", "We thank thee o god for a prophet," etc., but claim they don't "worship" at the altar of Joseph Smith.
It always killed me around Chirstmas time when I would look forward to singing Chistmas songs, but then the ward(s) would only sing 1 or 2 songs one day in December. This went on for years. I remember a time when December Sundays was filled with Chistmas music. Oh and the song 'I have been given much' was sung like every Sunday in the singles ward. Hated it.
I typed in the words "Sisters in Zion" and "Parody" into the youtube search engine and all I got was the official song. I guess it's official, the church is actually a Parody on a real religion.
When I was a Youth Camp Leader, we had to come up with catchy songs to help the younger girls remember the camp rules. I couldn't stand "Count your blessings," so I made that the song for the rule about properly disposing feminine products. The adult leaders didn't know this until I sang it for everyone at flag ceremony, "Wrap your tampons, put them in the trash" (to the Count Your Blessings" tune). To this day, I can't hear that song without my version popping in my head!
Give everything you've got as you run downhill exhausting youself, until you are absorbed into the collective of a river. The result is an identity lost in mindless currents.
* * *
It's insidious, my thoughtcrime. Bless my parents for throwing me out. They are devoted party members. I never even knew I was a thoughtcriminal, Winston.
Another cult-y creeper is "I Love My Birthdays Every One" or whatever the real name is. The weirdest one I remember is "It's Always Fun When Grandpa Comes" real Sandusky vibe there.
Back in the olden days before the green hymnbook, I used to like the "Yoo-Hoo Unto Jesus" song ("How Firm a Foundation"). "What more can he say than to you he hath said? Yoo-Hoo unto Jesus for refuge have fled." What more can he say, indeed? My sister and I used to really belt out the Yoo-Hoo part.