I tried to post this on your original thread, but it was closed...anyway...

I never intended to be a SAHM. When our toddler was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) completely out of the blue, I was thrust into the situation because it was impossible to find a childcare solution -- she needed someone who could accurately count every carbohydrate she swallowed, calculate and administer insulin shots 4-6 times a day, test her blood sugar every 2-3 hours, interpret and respond to the numbers on the meter, recognize symptoms of a blood sugar emergency, and know how to appropriately respond to a blood sugar emergency...all in a child who was still learning basic verbal skills, let alone possess the ability to tell someone when she needed help.

T1D doesn't sleep...in a child so young, even the smallest dose of insulin can make a huge impact, and her overnight insulin needs are constantly evolving with growth hormones. This means that she often requires overnight blood glucose tests. Which means I've barely slept for a full 8 hours in the 7+ years since her diagnosis.

I was 20 weeks preggo with #2 when she was diagnosed. It went from crazy to crazier...eventually I had to quit my job, which led to piles of medical bills (even with health insurance, it costs a lot of money to keep my kid alive)...finally, bankruptcy.

I was so resentful for so long. Being home wasn't MY dream. I chose nursing as a profession specifically because I felt like it would offer a good work/life balance -- work three 12's, off for 4 days. Our world seemed to crumble under the financial/exhausted/emotional pressure...

And then, one day, I woke up thankful. Thankful that my husband had found a job with access to a better health insurance policy. Thankful for the insulin that keeps her alive, and the insulin pump that has made our life more flexible. Thankful that I was able to monitor her day in and day out, instead of worrying that someone else would miss something. Thankful that we figured out how minimize our life, and live with less.

Don't get me wrong. I had many, many, many days where I was sure that being home was some sort of punishment. I guess I just want you to know that it won't feel this overwhelming all the time. In the big picture, these years are a very short stroke of the paintbrush. Remind yourself of that every day ... one day, you'll wake up and realize you made it to the other side. Hang in there, Mama!!!!

Gosh. Thank you so much for those words. They are exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I, too, am in the "Cheerios stage of life" and not always loving it.

I love it and can't imagine sending my child off to be raised by some shitty daycare workers. If we lived in Finland and had the options provided, coupled with their focus on education, I'd be willing to send my child. Our priorities with raising children in this country are screwed up.

I imagine it makes a big difference leaving the workforce at 40 to do this when you have some financial stability and zero debt. And only 1 child. But I love it, one of the best choices this SAHD has made!

Being a mom is mentally and physically exhausting. My post came out sounding like i think sahms are idiots, which is not what i meant. Sorry to all the people who were offended.

I totally get it. I used to have extended visits with my brother and SIL when their kids were young, and I saw how caring for them wiped out my SIL on a daily basis.

And now I teach 29 young children. More than a third of them have extremely challenging behaviors. They often wipe me out after seven hours!

Azexmo, wow that is amazing. Situations like that would crush a lesser person. I hope you are sleeping better now. Its incredible what a good nights sleep will do for you.

I posted in the other thread that I loved staying home with my kids. I truly did. What I didn't say is that there were days, and even weeks, maybe months when I didn't love it. I haven't loved every minute of my marriage either. Some days I felt overrun, unappreciated, overworked, and frustrated. Sometimes there was just too much poop, too much crying, too many messes, and no praise. One day, when things were particularly bad, a friend told me that things do get better. She was about 10 years ahead of me in life, and told me that she remembered being in my shoes. She said to hang in there and things do get better. They really do! I'm now 15 years down the road from that day. One son is off and married, another lives on his own, the rest are at school all day and I have my peace. They grew up, their demands on me lessened, they learned to help out.

So, hang in there, it does get better. Try to find a little time to do something for yourself every day. For me, it was a bubble bath and a good book every night.

Some women do better being SAHMs than others. I hated it. I worked for 8-1/2 years at a job I loved and then I had a set of twins at age 28. I had spent my entire life just waiting to be a mom. I was shocked by how disillusioned I was. My twins are almost 27 now. It was actually easier for me to deal with their needs as a single mother when my ex left just after they turned 10. I really loved the teenage years.

What I did is I got a part time job working evenings and my "ex" would watch the kids. It actually made his relationship with his kids better as he had one-on-one time with them. I worked 2 evenings a week and every other weekend. I'd even get up at 3 a.m. and go to work so I could be home to go to church, etc. It changed my life.

The job I started was in medical transcription. Eventually my job was contracted out and I started working at home when they were 4 years old. I was able to support my kids as a working at home mother while raising them alone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2012 11:39AM by cl2.