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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
It's been a year since I've set foot in a RS room, and I just couldn't help remembering what happened when I was there. The lesson was about Joseph's Myth, and the RS president decided that the best way to end the year was to have everyone in the room share their "testimony" of Joseph. Nothing about Jesus or Christmas, but I digress.
I knew it was over when the RS president lady started to choke up and then use that special "reverent voice" that's the equivalent of perfectly manicured nails screeching down the RS chalkboard to me. Then one conselor did the same, then the other one, and it spread like a teary virus around the room. These women had looks of absolute bliss and adoration on their faces, mingled with "faith-promoting" tidbits like "I can't imagine my life without the crutch. Can you you imagine a world without Joseph's Myth"? No Jesus, no joy, nothing meaningful, helpful, positive, healthy or rational; none of the basic, normal things that make life worth living. Nope; without JS and his one true crutch, there was nothing.
Anyway. I knew my turn was coming fast; my stomach was churning more with every muffled sob and every orgiastic sigh of bliss as the women wept and testified their way to ecstasy and I knew I'd have to stand up and throw cold water on their parade. Then it was my turn and I gagged. Literally. I'd popped a throat lozenge in my mouth and as I stood up and took a big breath it just went down the wrong pipe. Everybody waited like automatons or wind-up dolls while I gasped and coughed; they wanted to make sure I had my chance to add to the fun. I wish I'd had a great moment and said what I really wanted to say to these giddy deluded women, but all I could manage was "Sorry I can't do this; it makes me gag".
I got the stink eye from the RS prez and the wagon train moved on. Without me. And that's how my last visit to the women's organization that's been around "since ancient times" ended. Anyone else remember any similar Morgasms?
I knew it was over when the RS president lady started to choke up and then use that special "reverent voice" that's the equivalent of perfectly manicured nails screeching down the RS chalkboard to me. Then one conselor did the same, then the other one, and it spread like a teary virus around the room. These women had looks of absolute bliss and adoration on their faces, mingled with "faith-promoting" tidbits like "I can't imagine my life without the crutch. Can you you imagine a world without Joseph's Myth"? No Jesus, no joy, nothing meaningful, helpful, positive, healthy or rational; none of the basic, normal things that make life worth living. Nope; without JS and his one true crutch, there was nothing.
Anyway. I knew my turn was coming fast; my stomach was churning more with every muffled sob and every orgiastic sigh of bliss as the women wept and testified their way to ecstasy and I knew I'd have to stand up and throw cold water on their parade. Then it was my turn and I gagged. Literally. I'd popped a throat lozenge in my mouth and as I stood up and took a big breath it just went down the wrong pipe. Everybody waited like automatons or wind-up dolls while I gasped and coughed; they wanted to make sure I had my chance to add to the fun. I wish I'd had a great moment and said what I really wanted to say to these giddy deluded women, but all I could manage was "Sorry I can't do this; it makes me gag".
I got the stink eye from the RS prez and the wagon train moved on. Without me. And that's how my last visit to the women's organization that's been around "since ancient times" ended. Anyone else remember any similar Morgasms?
someone gave a testimony of one of those buff Book of Mormon guys - I think it was Helaman. Talked about how he was her hero and how wonderful it would have been to know him and how great it would be if more of today's priesthood holders were like him. She sounded like a 13-year-old with a crush on a celebrity. And all the time I was thinking "Seriously? He's a fictitious character. This is like an out-of-body experience that she is so infatuated with someone that never even existed and she doesn't even know it."
>"Use that special "reverent voice" that's the equivalent of perfectly manicured nails screeching down the RS chalkboard to me...
Seriously, you could be a therapist with that one... Thank you, you saved me a trip to one with that beauty...
Seriously, you could be a therapist with that one... Thank you, you saved me a trip to one with that beauty...
"Sorry I can't do this; it makes me gag".
Perfect. And perfectly understood, no doubt. Well done.
Perfect. And perfectly understood, no doubt. Well done.
I have a fantasy of going to testimony meeting (in a ward that doesn't know me) and getting up and giving a testimony of JS. Here is how it would go...
"I want to bear my testimony. I know this church is true. I have struggled recently w/my testimony when I found out Joseph Smith was marrying women that were already married to other living men... one of these women he married after personally sending her husband on a mission. When I found out these things, I was really upset. But, I prayed and read my scriptures and one day when I was reading in D&C, I had the spirit testify to me that Joseph was indeed a prophet of God. I knew right then and there that it didn't matter if he was having sex with all the women in the world. He WAS a prophet of God and that's all that mattered. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
"I want to bear my testimony. I know this church is true. I have struggled recently w/my testimony when I found out Joseph Smith was marrying women that were already married to other living men... one of these women he married after personally sending her husband on a mission. When I found out these things, I was really upset. But, I prayed and read my scriptures and one day when I was reading in D&C, I had the spirit testify to me that Joseph was indeed a prophet of God. I knew right then and there that it didn't matter if he was having sex with all the women in the world. He WAS a prophet of God and that's all that mattered. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
It doesn't matter how many people he was sleeping with I know he was a prophet...:) I have to remember this one.
I love this. One of my brother "attacks" the mormon church to my TBM mom. Sometimes I "help" her defend using statements like this.
I once "defended" polygamy for her by explaining that even though their wasn't a shortage of women and JS started it before they got to Salt Lake City when so many people died because of BY's bad idea about handcarts, the mormons still believe in polygamy because the angel with a flaming sword ordered him to. and if you are mormon you must believe that he is a prophet and that he wouldn't lie about stuff like that.
My mom was both grateful that I supported her but also upset that I do it by bringing up all of the skeletons :)
I love this. One of my brother "attacks" the mormon church to my TBM mom. Sometimes I "help" her defend using statements like this.
I once "defended" polygamy for her by explaining that even though their wasn't a shortage of women and JS started it before they got to Salt Lake City when so many people died because of BY's bad idea about handcarts, the mormons still believe in polygamy because the angel with a flaming sword ordered him to. and if you are mormon you must believe that he is a prophet and that he wouldn't lie about stuff like that.
My mom was both grateful that I supported her but also upset that I do it by bringing up all of the skeletons :)