As a few of the oldtimers may know, I have never been, nor will ever be, a Mormon. My interest in what was going on in the LDS church began in 2007 when I became attracted to my braille proofreading partner, a practicing member of the LDS church. She tried to convert me once, but I feigned sleep, and she has never tried again.

This woman was (and as far as I know remains) a devout Mormon. When I met her in 2006, she had just turned 27 and was working as a braille proofreader for a local non-profit agency serving the blind. Today, she is 32 years old, still single, teaches mobility to the blind and visually impaired for the state school for the deaf and blind, and she has come a long way in her thinking in many areas, including government assistance to the blind and visually impaired, since when I first met her.

While I have found (and still find her) to be an attractive woman, my research into her religion on this site and others plus conversations with friends and relatives who have dealt with people in your former church have convinced me that it is better for me to keep my distance from both her and her religion. Accordingly, while we remain professional friends, I have never, and will never, as long as she is Mormon tried to date her or do anything to suggest that anything other than a professional relationship could be possible between us.

As I stated earlier, this woman remains committed to her faith, so I was pleasantly (and secretly) surprised when she confided in me yesterday about some problems she was now having. It seems that members of her ward which, according to her, covers a distance of one square mile, have begun asking her which neighborhood/gated community she lives in. She said that she didn't always remember what the name of the neighborhood she lived in was, and, more importantly, she didn't see why it was any of their business. My response was that this was a kind of class consciousness, i.e. that those church members who were asking her the question were trying to determine where she fit in the social structure. She replied that there was nothing in the gospels that required a class consciousness like this. I decided not to reply to this comment, though I could think of many good replys, because any reply would be a criticism of her church and she would become defensive about it.

My braille proofreading partner then went on to say that people in her religion were now looking down on her because she was 32 years old and still single. She said that some of her church friends were openly criticizing her for not marrying and having children like they had done. I immediately began thinking of the postings on this board of the late "Deanie, the dreaded single adult" (I apologize for any misspellings in her monicker) on the subject of how older single women are treated in the LDS church. I, of course, did not tell my braille proofreading partner of those posts--again, she would become very defensive about her religion if I did (to underscore how committed a Mormon she is, she served a Mormon mission before beginning her work with the blind, still fasts on the first Sunday of every month in accordance with LDS Church teaching, and does not drink any coffee because she believes it to be a sin).

One more comment. After this woman dropped me off at my residence (I am, as my monicker implies, totally blind), I told my mom, who I live with, about the incident. Her comment was that "Your friend's church doesn't like independent women". I agree. And maybe, just maybe, despite her family's being very close to one of the Twelve, she may finally be having doubts about the truthfullness of that religion. I, for one, surely hope so.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2012 01:14PM by blindguy.

Like many of the cultural aspects of our lives... these things surprisingly work their way into acceptance Very Quickly even if somewhat subtly.

the Gated Community people are a sub-sub-sub-sub group of our society, but once you've arrived, people take it for granted and say (sometimes Out Loud) Hey, this is cool, why doesn't Everyone do this / Be Like Me?

The fact that it's Black/White, like married/single, Mormon/non-Mormon, also contribute.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2012 12:07PM by guynoirprivateeye.

It's hard to say how this woman's story will end. If she really values women being strong, independent and equal, her membership in a church that does not value those things will cause cognitive dissonance.

Of course the church acts like they value women but in an Orwellian way, but they actually believe the opposite. Mormon women usually can't see their own oppression and in fact they perpetuate it.

How will she deal with this? Maybe she will rationalize it away forever. Maybe she will leave someday. I suppose she will weigh the benefits she receives against the unknown of leaving.

I remember your story, blindman. You have shared many interesting and insightful posts here!

ty for post, I enjoyed it.

It's about getting into the most exclusive gated community.