I attended the 4 – 7 block for church yesterday. By that I mean I skipped the morning service because this is one of the Sundays when I teach the course, “Our Whole Lives,” (OWL) – a sexuality program for 8th graders from 4 PM to 7 PM every other Sunday.

This week we opened very differently. Our Director of Religious Education (DRE) had let me and co-teacher Jonathan know that she would be visiting with our students this week. She is always present in the building while we deliver the course and she wanted to remind the young people that she is available for pastoral care (kind of like a guidance counselor) if they need her. Interestingly, she had been planning this check in with us well before the sad events of last Friday.

She came in carrying a circular tray with 26 tea candles all nicely lighted. The young people knew what it was for. Some became a little teary. She passed a small silver bell around the circle of students and each to a turn to ring it gently for “centering.”

Then, each was invited to say what was on their mind or say nothing at all. Here are some of the things they said:

“How will the ones who escaped feel knowing so many friends are dead and they were not killed?”

“Do we have a lock down policy for our church?”

“I was proud to read about so many heroes, but all the heroes are dead.”

“I feel stupid to be so happy right now, but my hockey team is undefeated after 10 games.”

The young people have all had lock down drills prior to this. Policies differ from school to school. The DRE, Dolores, reminded everyone to adhere to whatever policy their school uses. We do not have a lock down procedure for our church – she said what we have right now is “Dolores by the door!” Comforting, but not really. We don’t need another dead hero.

That took up a good 40 minutes of our classroom time. Jonathan and I are extremely flexible. When there is a topic that needs more time than we had planned, we go with the energy of the group and adjust accordingly.

We talked about relationships (all kinds, not just romantic or sexual). We talked about active listening and communicating and peer pressure. This will be our last meeting for 2012. They remain great kids!

Thanks for this msmom, as always a wonderful read.

I spent the weekend thinking about the sad loss of so many children and their teachers, and considering what my words would be if any of my own Grade One students talked about it. None did, and I hope that means they blissfully know nothing about what happened. Taking my cue from their unawareness, I said nothing. It was a topic of discussion in our older grades though, and from speaking to other teachers, the conversations were similar to the one with your young people. I so wish that these kinds of conversations would never be necessary.

First graders are so very dear! (And they grow into lovely 8th graders one day!)