I've been getting that lately. As if I'm the go-to person for all things bad and wrong, because I left the Church to sin. I won't be judgmental either, because since I'm such a sinner I would be a hypocrite to object, right?

I'm not really a dirty joke person, but I find the jokes themselves to be in poor taste and immature -- not to mention old. I made disgusted sounds, but I don't think I made my point.

Anyway, I just wonder if anyone else gets this. Any uncharacteristic swearing? Fanciful drinking or sex stories from Mormons?

Yes. A single TBM whom I've known like forever, being a former schoolmate, sought me out specifically to 'confess' to me that they were seeing a very much married person. They emphasized that they didn't do the deed (doubtful) but was still worried that their eternal reward was at risk. I didn't judge and said 'then you don't have anything to worry about'. Then they continued by revealing more details. I then siad 'why not stop communicating? They were willing, but still sad and concerned. Poor thing, mentally and emotionally trapped by a cult and unable/unwilling to do anything about it.

Box Elder = Mormon Gynecologist

That's about as risqué it gets.

ST

My DH was a convert.
He has always been the self appointed dirty joke teller.
He's appalling. The TBM's love it.

That's funny. Maybe I should be more like that.

Are a couple who like to at least pretend to be TBM. But if you ever need a racist, dirty, or homophobic joke, they're your go-to guys. I think it's just that they are attention whores and also like to pretend that they are somehow more worldly than your average TBM. The only thing they are is obnoxious. I think I need some G.A. dirty jokes to tell if I'm ever stuck in their presence again. "How many apostles does it take to screw in a lightbulb"? None. Who needs a lightbulb when you 14 other huge a-holes to pick from?"

In other words, you currently know some dirty jokes! Well, out with them then. ;-)

Yeah, I just don't know any good ones! :-)

A husband and wife walk into a hotel bar. There is an antique lamp sitting on the bar. The wife rubs it, there is smoke and a genie appears.

The genie tells the couple - you have 3 wishes.

They wish for $1,000,000 dollars. The genie says - it is done there is a million dollars in your bank account.

They wish for a new mansion. The genie says - it is done your home has been replaced.

They wish for a new yacht. The genie says - it is done you have a new yacht.

Then the genie says - now I want to ask for something in return. It's very lonely in my lamp. I haven't had any action for 1,000 years and your wife is beautiful - can I please have sex with your wife.

The husband answers - c'mon I just gave you $1,000,000, a yacht & a mansion it's the least you can do.

The husband finally agrees and the genie and the wife go up to a hotel room.

They absolutely go to town for a couple of hours. After completely ravishing the wife the genie asks her:

"How old is your husband?"

"35"

"And he still believes in genies?"

"I told you it would work."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2013 03:16PM by bc.

You know, I'm the person that gets all the secret, "I don't believe in the church anymore, but I can't tell the family. I knew you'd understand."

Makes me so mad. I take all the heat while literally three other members of my extended family play false. If they'd come out, it would help everyone. I am sure they aren't the only ones that don't believe.

I do get the jokes and scandalous stories, too. Or the swearing. They love to say a 'naughty' word to me like "ass" and then giggle like 3 year olds. These are 60 year old men.

My family has never shied away from dirty jokes (my mom was QUEEN of the "That's What She Said" fad a few years back), but my TBM sister does surprise me occasionally by swearing in text messages. She's dropped F-bombs on me, and the even more scandalous (for a TBM) "Oh My God".

My one TBM friend who I've stayed friends with since leaving TSCC swears at/to me all the time. She told me it's because she knows I won't judge, and swearing is fun!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/10/2013 05:37PM by steve benson.

Dammit!! I thought of a really dirty mormon joke earlier today that would have been perfect for this post, and now I can't remember it!

One TBM sidles up to another, looks round and says "pssst - wanne see some dirty postcards?"

"Yeah ok then"

"Right. This one's got jam on the corner..." :-)

I can one up you. I have a brother who (used to) call me when he was drunk. He used to call me up and try to pick fights. He behaves with my Mormon sister, but one day, while he was drinking he called me up,drunk, and made a comment about how I should put my hands down my pants. He no longer has my phone number. Done with that. He also has become "born again" and always wanted to preach to me when drunk. UGH.

I would be if I ever saw them...which seems only happen at funerals....

Ron Burr

I was the TBM in my exmo/jackmo family who told everyone dirty jokes. Now I'm just one more exmo in the herd.

Satnam, I think your brother and my middle brother (who likes to drunk dial and pick fights) should be locked in a room together for 24 hours. We'll keep whichever one survives.

Great idea! But I am not sure if I want mine back at this point. :/