I left BEFORE the internet. I left because the modern scriptures were not what they plainly stated themselves to be. There were impossible bible myths repeated in the Book of Mormon, Abraham and Moses. I was a dedicated apologist for as long as possible but even if I excused all sorts of translation issues with the BoM and BoA, I considered the Book of Moses should be pristine and absolutely perfect as it had come directly from God - it should absolutely reflect reality and science. But it had the same ridiculous myths as the BoA, BoM, and the Bible. When McConkie's Mormon Doctrine confirmed that science was not compatible with the scriptures, I lost my faith.

I spent much of my time in seminary reading the scriptures trying to understand the perplexing mythology, before turning to my parents' copy of Mormon Doctrine for authoritative answers. I realise of course that "Mormon Doctrine" isn't, these days. But that does not change the contents to the PoGP or BoM.

Who else left before "the internet"? and why?

I left before the internet, in the early 1980's. I found multiple versions of the First Vision that weren't consistent. Then more kept piling on. I was at BYU and went to the Special Collections sections of the library where you could still read older versions of books and see where doctrines had been changed. I read where some things that were taught by early prophets, like Brigham and Joseph, were now not only not taught but you would be excommunicated for believing, yet in the past Brigham would excommunicate you for NOT believing. What happened to "God would never allow his prophet to lead the church astray." I read about prophet infallibility. I tried to reconcile the problem. Prophets were human. I went on to the Book of Abraham problem. I read Nibley's books on the subject and believed him, but by then I took nothing at face value. I found he was lying or at least in error. I read changes to the BoM and even to the official Church History to santize it. Finally, there was just too much to explain away. It was like one day it all reached a critical mass. I had based my life on the church. Through all of this I'd never even had a cup of tea, even though by now I knew of Joseph Smith's real history of the Word of Wisdom. Once this critical mass was reached, it was like my entire world shifted 180 degrees. I had been married in the temple. My family was all active, in leadership positions in the church. They expected much from me. I had to redefine my values. I knew that Mormonism wasn't the only church that was wrong. It was literally earth shattering for me because I had believed that it could stand the scrutiny, as I had been told. It could not. But truth was more important to me. Personally, I could not go to any other church either. They are all just as wrong. The Mormon church may just institutionalize guilt better than some.

I had been so indoctrinated and wrapped up in Mormonism and a pro-religion culture in general that I just assumed everyone else knew something and was experiencing something I wasn't.

I had many moments as a kid when I thought, "Wait, you mean that story you just told me is supposed to be REAL, not a fable or fairytale? REALLY?" But I went with the majority opinion.

As I got older and they introduced me to more of the doctrine, and I was able to grasp the implications, it became less appealing and harder to swallow. It wasn't the restrictions of Mormonism that chafed on me (well, except the chastity thing), but the whole world view of the meaning of life, our supposed purpose, the goals we were supposed to be marching toward, the suppression of individuality...

And why did Mormonism just not work in my life? Why was I more miserable the more devout I was? Why was it making me sick instead of happy? I had enough presence of mind to know I couldn't understand it all while swirling in the middle of it. I had to step back and get some perspective.

Wow, what a view! You know the pictures they've been showing lately of the bad smog over SLC, but with clear blue sky above the inversion layer? That's what it was like for me.

"Oh, wait, it's all crap. Not only do I not believe in Mormonism, I don't believe in religion or the supernatural."

My inner self, my subconscious, had been trying to tell me that all my life. I finally heard it.

The internet existed but only in it's earliest stage and we didn't have it at my house. I had always been inquisitive and asked a lot of questions as a young kid. Questions about the Lamanites, as I had friends who were Native Americans. Questions about good people I knew who weren't Mo and what would happen to them if they didn't want to be Mo after they died. Questions about the poor people all around the world who didn't have nice lives like us, why did god do that to them?

As I got older I could look for my own answers mainly because the ones I was given were so dismissive and unsatisfying. I started discovering the obvious answers. My questions became more sophisticated and instead of getting dismissive answers they were usually given as warnings about the dangerous territory. One exchange was the best.

I had been studying Buddhism and developed a strong admiration for it. I asked my bish, who was a long-time family friend. He snorted and said "But they don't even believe in God!" That was the push I needed. I hadn't considered that as a viable possibility. But if it was good enough for good people like the Buddhists....

I left because I never felt good at church or anything about the church. In fact I always felt icky about anything to do with church.
This is really weird for me, because as an INTJ, I am much more of a logic and reason oriented person.
Even I didn't like my reasons for leaving, which is how I eventually found this place, after more than a decade of thinking I was the only mormon to ever quit and not turn immediately to a life of crime. That's all I ever heard at church. Leave and Satan gets you, and then horrible things happen to your morals and a life of crime is the only alternative.

I'm a better person without the church.
And boy was it nice to find out the kind of company I am in. The mix here is a better group than any ward I was ever in.
More helpful people, less of the sneering, letter-of-the-law tattle tales. More people doing good because its right than because they are concerned about their fate in the afterlife. I could go on... But here is where the genuine people wind up. There is little that is genuine in TSCC, and when it is there I think it was there _in spite_ of the church.

Spanner wrote:

>Who else left before "the internet"? and why?

I left in the late 1950s. My reasons are at http://www.exmormon.org/whylft66.htm

Basically, I was trying to prove to myself and my non-Mormon friends that the church was true, and the more information I found, the more problems I discovered. I finally realized that all the problems disappeared by recognizing that Mormonism was just another man-made religion, and not divine.

Why? Because mormonism made me depressed and didn't make sense.

+1

I left in the early 90's because I couldn't live up to the so-called standards. It bothered me for a few years whether the church was true or not, so I opted to aim for the Terrestrial kingdom at first. Then I slowly realised it was a religion like any other. Finally, finding this board confirmed what I knew all along subconciously - that it's all a crock of brown smelly stuff.

I left in 1971 at age 13.

I left because it just did not fit my inner world.

The entire idea of a savior etc. didn't fit.

The Universe was too vast and Cosmic for simple-minded rules like
Moism and the like.

I was a rebel from the start....

I loved the bumpersticker:

QUESTION AUTHORITY

Before the internet you had to borrow "Mormonism: Shadow or Reality?" from a naughty friend, and then proceed to have your mind blown in private.

At age 14 in 1956 I pretty much hated the Mormon church, which my TBM parents forced me to attend. I had no friends in the ward -- my neighborhood friends were all never mos. The five hours of Sunday meetings were terminally boring.

Prayer made no sense. Where was God located? How did a physical God manage to simultaneously monitor 5 billion humans in case one started saying a prayer? So I doubted the existence of God.

Then a Priesthood class was the final straw. The lesson said that sincere prayers would always be answered. Of course I knew about the Joseph Smith story of God answering his prayer. So I decided to see if the lesson was actually true. For two weeks I did some sincere praying. I was genuinely wondering if God would appear to me, just like he allegedly did to J.Smith.

After two weeks I had not heard from God. God was Missing In Action. I thought about this result and decided that (1) either God doesn't exist, or (2) God has no interest in me. In any case, prayer was completely useless and the most reasonable explanation was that God doesn't exist.

So I essentially became an atheist. I couldn't discuss this with my TBM parents -- my father would have gone ballistic. I gradually cut down my attendance at meetings. My father was the Stake Clerk and that calling consumed his Sundays so he was not at home to supervise me. By the time I was age 17 it became apparent to my parents that I had no interest in church. So one day I simply quit attending.

My parents were, of course, upset. But there was nothing they could do to force me to attend. Otherwise I was a responsible person. Maybe my parents decided that church was a war they couldn't win. Anyway, that was the end of my church activity. I finally resigned my membership at age 54, after both my parents were deceased.

My father never accepted the fact that I had quit the church. He periodically told me I should return to church. That was not going to happen. My mother never mentioned religion and I had a really good relationship with her during my adult years.

I left in 1989. I was depressed. I began to realize Mormonism and I did not fit. I studied church history and doctrine to try to make sense of it all and it made less sense, so I found a better explanation (it is a man-made church) and I left. I didn't read any significant "anti" material. You can get to the point of leaving without the Internet but the Internet really speeds up the process.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2013 02:38PM by robertb.

Although I do really dislike the mentality that anything that doesn't glorify the church is anti-Mormon. Even if it's true.

The internet played zero role. Mormonism never fit me. I was born into it, no choice, but never shared anything in common with it. I left as soon as I could.

I quit going to church in 1971. I was BIC but had understanding, respectful TBM parents who left such decisions up to me.

Ron Burr

Incredibly rare, Ron. Don't know of anyone else other than you who had that experience of wanting to leave and TBM parents left them alone to do it.

I wish I had, for me the information flow was so well controlled that I didn't read anything counter. I tend to carry a lot of conviction for what I believe, made me a hell of a missionary.

I only hope now to counter the fraud I put up with some honesty. I have found that exposing these things take a light touch though.

the morg gives you all sorts of defensive tools to keep your brain working the way they want it to. Every TBM has something on their shelf that bugs them a lot, but it is different for each one. the things that got you personally to dig deeper are not the same for others.

I was Jack for most of high school. Didn't go if I could get out of it, didn't really believe it or think about it, but would defend it.

What put the nail in the coffin? First quarter of college. Anthropology course, "North American Archaeology 101". And that was that.

I did not quit because of anything from the internet. Rather, it had to do with reading, especially things like the History of the Church by JS, the Lectures on Faith, etc. The church implodes when one reads.

My family wasn't active, and there was no pressure to attend in the original neighborhood we lived in.

After we moved, I was the only one of my siblings who ducked the ducking, and I even survived as the "ward project" in scouting. By my teens I was publishing letters defending my belief in science and non-belief in a deity...

Even the bishop's daughter found I was immune...

NEVER even occurred to me to check out the internet and I do work from home over the computer. I was going through a huge life crisis and just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

By the time I knew there was info on the internet, I was already out. I had been inactive for a long time, but lost my beliefs in one day about 18 months before my exmo therapist told me to check out RfM. It was icing on the cake. I had never wondered up to that point if there were others like me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2013 02:29PM by cl2.

Cool, thanks for all the responses. There isn't a smoking gun, each exit story seems to involve different issues (or a different take on them). I guess this is because we all had to find our own way, whereas these days the main problems are laid out after a few seconds on Google.

Would that have made it easier for TBMs to deal with the issues exmos raised as well? They could write off the loss of faith as an individual problem. These days, having a group of people who have left over the Book of Abraham and polyandry would make it harder to sweep those problems under the rug.

So the internet would increase myth-busting momentum on several fronts, not only getting the information out, but the solidarity of knowing other people also find the information to be a problem for faith, and that believers can't dismiss the concerns of hundreds of people (hence the apologists).

Edit to add: this is probably stating the obvious to many people, i can be a bit slow to get things.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2013 02:37PM by spanner.

As a teen (mid-80's), I concluded that God was not behind Mormonism. It was too cookie-cutter to be the only true church in this vastly diverse world. It seemed silly to me that peoples from other parts of the world would be required to wear garmies, wear dresses to church, etc. to please God. Then I couldn't get over the JS grove story. It's funny because I never questioned Jesus/God in nearly the same way I questioned JS and the B of M. Ultimately, I didn't see myself living the life of a LDS woman. Again, I believed a real God would allow for diversity. The obsession over babies made me crazy!!!!!

Is this like one of your friends who liked a band before they were big and brings it up as a bragging tool?

Who cares when or why you left? The point is, 'you're out!'


The internet is a great tool to spread information and has helped millions to escape.

Left in the 60s when a little college showed me how big the world is. Mormonism wanted to control my life because it was so important, yet most people had never heard of it.

The Mormon God was doing a really poor job of promoting his major wonder of a church. Something just didn't add up, and as an introvert I sure didn't get anything from the culture.

I didn't talk to anyone about it for 3 decades until I stumbled on this site.

Left in 90 because of this.
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,724357,732790#msg-732790

The manipulation by my parents and bishop proved to me that something was wrong with the "holy ghost" concept. Emotionally I was out, but it took the internet to study my way out.

I apostasized in the seventies. I was a teenager with good reading skills. The Book of Mormon was impossible to justify. It is so clearly a hoax that I marvel at believing Mormons.

I've also tried to read the Koran, and I've found it to be similar to the BoM in that both books are fan fiction for the Bible. The two should be used as bookends for legitimate works.

I left while internet was just becoming available, but without internet and without scientific dna analysis that proves Book of Mormon is true fraud. Actually, long standing science had already proved, without dna, that BOM was crap and JS a liar.

I left in the late 60s because the church didn't work for me. I didn't like the rules, the lack of spirituality, the emphasis on JS etc. It just didn't seem right

I left in the mid 1970s. I was that kid that always asked "why?" and "how come?". Never got real answers to anything. In my late teens I began to see that the whole go on a mission thing was just a program to get more tithe paying members in the corp. I didn't want to have any part of that, so I joined the Army after HS graduation and left home. Every day after that it seems like a learned more and more of the truth about TSCC. That is, it isn't true.

I left in 81, when even computers were new and awkward. It was the Equal Rights Amendment that sent me packing. I don't want to be in a so-called church where the leaders believe women should have legal equality.

Politics was an issue for me too. In my mind, the church was inevitably on the wrong side.That includes the racism and sexism



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/28/2013 12:54AM by bona dea.

I always knew a few of the weird things and I hadn't really been super faithful up until we left, but not until recently did I become really interested in the serious problems of the church.

turns out this whole "religion" was just an excuse for my husband to bed a lot of hussies and call it "plural marriage".