I had some really good, chilled comps but also one or two with which I shared absolutely nothing in common with and whom I'd never ordinarily have chosen to spend any time with, let alone 24x7 for a few months. I had one very strange companion that used to bug the heck out of me. He was very odd indeed.

A) He struggled to ride a bike and would literally fall off or crash into a parked car (always setting off the alarm of course) literally on a daily basis. As if this wasn't bad enough, invariably he'd start crying. This caused no end of embarrassment as we were in a small community and everyone soon cottoned on to this pathetic sight of a grown man riding around like a child and blubbing.

B) He also used to do the most annoying door approaches which really wound me up. His favorite was to knock and then quickly hide out of sight of the door and when it was opened, jump out in front of the startled person with a big clap of his hands and a stomp of his feet, proclaiming loudly "I'm here and I have an important message for you!".

My toes literally curled in my shoes with embarrassment and the poor unsuspecting person would often look at me in bewilderment as I rolled my eyes for the ninth time that morning. I told him in no uncertain terms to stop being a &@$€¥ but he persisted every now and again. At the first sign that he was going to attempt this (and of course it never ever worked so why he persisted is a mystery), I'd just turn my back and start walking away. All the members hated him too and unsurprisingly we had no missionary success together.

What very strange companions did you experience and what things drove you crazy?

I had one that was just an asshat. He would start his stopwatch and record the length of time I would spend going into the gas station for a snack or to use the restroom. He had no sense of flexability and always wanted to follow our plans to the letter even when it posed a disadvantage to do so. To top it off he liked to brag about how he could go home on a medical whenever he wanted to because he supposedly had a 3rd nut, sadly he chose to stay. One time he even threatened to kick my ass because he wanted to keep tracting some empty old apt complex based on one of his "feelings" and I wanted to go visit a lady who had asked us to drop a BofM by her house across town. I was sad that he didn't have the guts to throw the first punch, it would have made life simpler. Instead we had a 10 minute standoff and I finally caved to his bitching cuz I decided the situation was going nowhere and I was to brainwashed to walk away so we knocked on doors till he felt validated (acomplishing nothing in the process).

I had another whos parents had done everything for him and given hin the ez life. It was so bad that he learned to use underarm deoderant in the MTC for chrisakes. When I got him he was prone to crying when I would ask him to do something simple like plan the next days activities while I made evening phone calls. The poor guy didn't even know what the purpose of cooking oil was before I got ahold of him. Fortunately he had grown up alot by the end of our sentence together and I got to know him better as a pretty stand up guy. Its just the first little bit that was exhausting.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 05:58PM by luckychucky.

Take the stopwatch and throw it to the ground, breaking it. Oops, clumsy me. So sorry!

You've got a third nut? Great, that means you can afford to lose one. Better sleep with one eye open, fella. ;-)

In my mission we had this club called "PHI CRAPPA DIMA".

There was this dime that supposedly had been passed around the mission for years. Missionaries would swallow the time, sift through their poop until they passed it, boil it, and then pass it onto the next candidate who just had to be a member of the club.

We did not have a kitchen sink, our dishes were piled up on the back of the toilet. My companion insisted on sifting through his crap next to our dishes and then placing the rubber gloves in the dish rack to dry after he washed them off.

DANG! When I threw a fit he just responded with "CHILL BRO".

Other than that I really liked the guy. He pretty much allowed me to do absolutely no mission related work...we played cards and mountain biked most of the time.

That's soooooooooooo nasty. I just don't know what to say.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 01:19AM by melissa3839.

Ha ha. There are so many things like that...rank and file members would be appalled if they really knew the extent of depravity that happened.

Ok, my turn:

Elder Suit - This guy was the only companion I hated. He was a friendly enough guy, but he insisted on always wearing his suit all the time. He wouldn't take it off on p-day or while in the apt. He even wore his suit when he mowed the lawn, one of his duties while working/living in the mission office.

The Whisperer - Every morning after his shower, he'd sit on his bed in nothing but his garment bottoms, stare at his hands and whisper. This would last for at least five minutes. He wasn't praying...just whispering. I finally asked him what the whole thing was about and he claimed to have no idea what I was talking about. He was my senior companion who transferred in, and hated the idea that I knew the town and he didn't. He hated having me lead while riding our bikes, and for whatever reason, snapped one day, came zooming up beside me and started kicking me and my bike. One blow hit hard enough to push me out into traffic...I was just about flattened by a city bus.

Elder Drain Trap - This was another elder in our four-man apartment, not one of my companions. He hated the ZLs with a passion. So did I for that matter. He converted hatred into action by saving and piling in a bag all the various crap from our plates that ended up in the drain trap during the course of doing dishes for two weeks. The day of their visit, he dropped all of the drain trappings into a bowl of chicken broth and served it to the ZL's for lunch. I feigned illness and skipped lunch; he had half a peanut butter sandwich. The ZL's didn't even blink as they enjoyed their soup.

I had my own shit to sort out, so I'm sure someone somewhere is telling stories about me too. Missions really, really suck.

It sounds like those guys had some emotional problems or were otherwise handicapped.
Most likely, their home wards hoped serving a mission would help straighten them out.

The one who kept losing his balance probably also had a physical problem.

Burdening other 20 year olds with such difficult people 24/7 was very unfair.

Hmmmmmm - maybe I got off lightly after all?!

sherlock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> A) He struggled to ride a bike and would literally
> fall off or crash into a parked car (always
> setting off the alarm of course) literally on a
> daily basis. As if this wasn't bad enough,
> invariably he'd start crying. This caused no end
> of embarrassment as we were in a small community
> and everyone soon cottoned on to this pathetic
> sight of a grown man riding around like a child
> and blubbing.
>
> B) He also used to do the most annoying door
> approaches which really wound me up. His favorite
> was to knock and then quickly hide out of sight of
> the door and when it was opened, jump out in front
> of the startled person with a big clap of his
> hands and a stomp of his feet, proclaiming loudly
> "I'm here and I have an important message for
> you!".
>
>

OMG Sherlock, that had me wiping tears out of my eyes. That was funny stuff.

Yeah he was an 'interesting character'. I was fairly new out and I should have twigged that whenever his name was mentioned, more experienced elders would glance knowingly at each other, nudge nudge wink wink. I realised later in my mission that his reputation was mission-wide. He was the one the one wanted to be with, so just my luck to get him. I heard that a later companion of his put him up against a wall and almost knocked his block off before being pulled off him by the other elders in the 4 man apartment. I don't condone violence, but I can completely understand!

I felt bad for him. He did not know what Breast Implants were. He one time asked me if I knew exactly how to have sex. His family only allowed him to watch PG movies and Disney. Because of this, he was not well liked from the other missionaries. nobody could relate to him because he was odd, especially investigators. We became pretty good friends, but he would make me chuckle frequently.

I don't remember much from my mission though. Every day was pretty much the exact same, looking around for people to talk to us. Which nobody did but the religious zealots who wanted to convert us, and the crazies.

In my mission, I was usually the one who was considered "the weird companion".

LOL

I was with this one guy for only a few days (thank all the gods for that!) who would qualify. He absolutely refused to speak the local language. He insisted that everyone spoke English and learning another language was a waste of time. He would actually yell in anger at people who didn't speak to him in English. That included investigators, members, locals, etc.

...This guy was a real piece of work. He was thrusting his sickle so fast and so furiously that I though he'd have a break down.

He was in a big hurry to get to an appointment for a golden investigator that was just aching to be baptized etc. etc. etc. Well he couldn't remember where she lived and he didn't have an address so he stops right in the middle of the street, puts a hand over his eyes and proudly declares that God will tell him which way to go. He stood there receiving direct revelation from God himself for a good 30 seconds then boldly stated: "We need to go that way!". We never did find the house. Nor did we do any teaching of any kind. At the end of the evening I was absolutely certain that I never wanted to be a Zone Leader and risk having a companion like that full time.

Stunted

Don't know how you kept from laughing. A grown man! Covering his eyes in the middle of the street and pointing and shouting which way to go. XD

"thrusting his sickle so fast and so furiously"

Love it!

A few come to mind:

Chelsea, Michigan- I was transferred in the middle of the winter and assigned to Elder S. He was a District Leader and knew he was going to be a GA someday. One cold day he decided that we needed to prove to the Lord that he was a worthy servant and needed to go tracting. We walked up and down long country roads for 10 hours without getting into one door. He sang hymns the entire time. I shuffled along gradually realizing that I couldn't feel my feet after a few hours but by then our car was over 2 miles away. I was silently hoping that someone would let us in just so I could warm up.

Around 7PM we were walking back to the car and had about 1 mile to go when a car pulled up and asked us if we wanted a ride. I said yes but he told them that we would walk. I said that I was going to take them up on their offer and jumped in. He said that he'd rather walk. The nice couple drove me to our car and told me that the guy I was with must be crazy because it was below zero out. I thanked them and drove out and picked him up. He didn't talk to me for 3 days.

Chelsea, Michigan- After Elder S was transferred Elder W came in. He had a month left to go and had pretty much checked out. We used to go to the Branch building and watch BYU basketball games at night on the church's satellite system. We discovered that we could pick up the Playboy Channel by tuning the dish across different channels. Not a bad month after Elder S.

Grosse Point, Michigan- Elder H. I was the senior comp and he was going home in a month. His parents had given him a Visa card before his mission and paid it for him every month. He spent over $1,000 in the month we were together just on dining out and shopping. He had a girlfriend from a previous area and she would call him every night and they'd talk for hours. I eventually tuned him out and let him do what he wanted for the last two weeks. I'd stay in the apartment and he'd disappear for hours with her. Movies, Canada, whatever. I couldn't keep up with his spending or pretty-boy attitude. He ended getting a girl pregnant back in Provo.

South Detroit- I had a companion from Compton, CA. Hard core gang banger before his mission. 24 years old. We were both ZL's by now and had to do splits with the 28 other missionaries in our Zone every month. Since he was the Senior Comp he stayed in our appt and I traveled out to the other areas. He would take his split down to Cass Corridor (the off-limits area of the mission due to the danger factor and violence upon previous missionaries) and go door knocking. He would get into arguements with the gangsters and wouldn't back down. It scared the crap out of the elders and after a while nobody would do splits with him. He was transferred to the office and made the Records Clerk. He ended up marrying a gang-banger girl from Detroit a few months after his mission.

South Detroit- I was the Senior ZL and given a new ZL to train. He was the guy everyone hated. Played football at Snow College and made sure everyone knew about it. We used to play basketball on Wednesday nights at the Dearborn building and he'd end up pushing someone or fouling someone pretty hard and after a few weeks the Bishop asked us not to come back. The next Sunday he stood up in Priesthood and challenged the guy who complained about him to a fight. Of course there were about 15 guys who had complained so he was out of luck. He caught scabies from an investigator who he had challenged to a wrestling match so we all had to go to the doctor and get treated. He didn't follow protocol and didn't get rid of them and so our apartment was quarantined and we could have no visitors for 2 weeks. We walked around in our garments and had to freeze our clothes. It sucked big time.

During our quarantine he confessed that he had a mastrubation problem and needed my help overcoming his weakness. He took the bathroom door off it's hinges and showered with the shower curtain wide open. Since the bathroom was off of our living room you could see everything. And if you had to take a growler you had no privacy. And talk about the smell.

But the guy who took the cake was the guy in Flint. Elder N. He carried a BB pistol in our car "for protection". Since Flint was a dangerous area he decided that if we ever got into trouble with the locals he'd just pull out the trusty Daisy BB pistol and we'd be saved from further harm. He bragged that he had broken a pitbull's jaw one day by pulling it apart just as the dog was clamping down on his arm. He also had a black belt is some martial art and "his hands were registered as lethal weapons in Salt Lake County".

One day we were going to a P-Day activity and in our P-Day clothes. I was driving and happened to notice that there were 3 police cars behind us. Before you knew it a 4th police car had pulled in from of us and we were in the middle of a high-risk traffic stop and we were the "suspects". We were taken out at gun-point and placed facedown on the ground and handcuffed. We were separated in different police cars and read our rights. They searched our car and found the BB pistol under my companion's seat. Before long there were over 10 police cars there and I was wondering if my comp was a murderer or had shot someone. A detective came back and pulled me out and started questioning me about the "bank robery" we had just pulled and wanted to know where the money was. I pled ignorance and then another detective came over and they played good cop/bad cop with me. I was going to prison unless I cooperated. They like white boys with tight asses in prison. Cooperate and they'd go easy on me. You know the drill.

They called the Mission office to verify our identies and after a while we were un-handcuffed and told to sit on the curb next to our car and wait. After about 20 minutes one of the detectives came over and explained what was up. A bank had been robbed a few miles away and the getaway car was similar to ours and we matched the description of the robbers. And they had used a black semi-automatic in the hold-up. So when they saw us, pulled us over, and found the BB pistol they figured we were the guys. We were let go but the BB pistol was seized and my comp was cited into court for carrying a concealed weapon. He was transferred out and I got a TBM ultra-conservative companion to teach me a lesson.

The Michigan-Dearborn Mission. Oh the experiences.

On your P-day. That stinks!

FUH HUCK!

Not literally. But the fruitcake companion who did weird sh!t and didn't know a breast from well-sculpted green Jello...yeah I was that guy.

Which is really funny because I'm quite intelligent. Borderline overconfident jerk intelligent. Yet when I was 19 I was an absolute walking Jason Biggs of self-doubt and awkward behavior (minus the botched sex attempts and not quite Jewish-looking).

Not coincidentally, I wasn't an emotionally or mentally developed either. My emotional and mental development had been stunted. Hey that would make a good screen name! I actually have videos of myself at that age that if I did not actually know it was me, I would have thought, "that dude may have an extra chromosome."

Also not by chance, I became a real, emotionally-fit, mentally stable, well-adjusted person AFTER leaving Mormonism, not while inside it.

Anyway, I may not have actually been your companion, but if I had you'd remember me as the elder whom you would have liked to have duct-taped naked to a stool in a gay bar and send pictures of it back to my TBM family for kicks. That would have made for some awkward dinner conversations back home! Hah!

I had several companions that I could tell stories about, but I'll just narrow it down to a couple.

My trainer was completely obsessed with this sister missionary. He talked about her all the time, but then would feel guilty and go into "super missionary" mode where he acted like a conceded jerk to everyone because he thought he was being more spiritual by acting that way.

On one of her birthdays, my companion spent about $250 on this mini-disk player for her (mini-disks were big in Japan when I was there). He thought she would love it, but when he gave it to her she gave him this weird look like "umm... what?" It was funny to watch, but he didn't get her body signals saying she thought it was a very creepy gift.


This other missionary was my last companion in my last mission assignment. When he first met me on the train to pick me up after I transferred there, I asked him how many investigators they had. He then proceeded to go into this long drawn out explanation of everyone they were meeting with. I guess he was trying to be a "good missionary" and not think about numbers, and instead talk about the people. After he was done, I said, "So you have four then?" He sheepishly nodded that I was right.

This guy hated me at first, though. His trainer was this prick that tried to obey all rules possible, and even made up new rules like no talking to the sister missionaries. He also taught the members practice lessons after church every Sunday and tried to stop high school kids on the street to teach them.

I changed all of that and I could tell he wanted to kill me. It was pretty obvious for the first few weeks. One time he told me, "If we have more faith then people will stop and talk to us!" I said, "Ok, you have faith that people will stop and talk, and I'll have faith that people won't listen to us. Then we can see who has the most faith." After about ten more minutes of straight rejection while trying to stop people downtown to talk with, I jokingly told him that it's pretty clear I am the most faithful missionary in the companionship. He wasn't happy when I said that.

At the end we were good friends, and he understood why I got rid of a lot of the programs that his previous companion had. I'll never forget the emanating hatred he had for me at first, though. Funny stuff.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 01:20AM by scuba.

my weirdest comp was incapable of saying anything positive and didn't believe most of what anyone told her. i got so sick of her twisting everything i said and insulting me that i stopped talking to her for about 3 days in a row.

and she was insanely cheap. she had just a few months to go and had a whole bunch of letters and papers she wanted to staple. problem was her stapler was at home, 10,000 miles away and she didn't want to waste $1.50 to buy a stapler when she had a perfectly good one at home. but she really wanted to staple her letters and pictures, it was killing her. i bought her a stapler, she was amazed i bought it even though i didn't have anything i needed to staple.

the rest were pretty normal by comparison.

French East Mission . . . early 60's. Elder B. was a great comp. He received a lot of money from home. Bought fresh flowers for the apartment several times a week and stemware for our grape juice. A real nice guy, somewhat effeminate. He confirmed his sexual orientation one night when, as we relaxed in our prescription underpants, reading the scriptures (or a James Bond novel). He said I looked tired and offered to "rub my legs". I declined. He didn't make any further advances and we spent several pleasant and well-provisioned months together. Found out much later that, after an unsuccessful marriage, he moved to San Francisco and died of aids in his early 40's.

4 were cool. Though they probably thought I was a weirdo too.

.......I didn't serve a mission, but if I had, and I got stuck with a companion who did that.... I would pull them to the side and say,

"If you don't stop that, I'm going to wait until you fall asleep. Then take a sheet of paper and twist it into a long strip. I will stick it between your toes, and light one end on fire. Then I will sit back and wait for the flame to reach your foot...."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 01:26AM by melissa3839.

brought to you by the self serving Jerks who run LDS Inc & their insanely arrogant aspirations & the MORmON attitude that suffering is good for the regular folks.

listening to some of Jim Whitefields ( exmo conference 2010 & THOROUGHLY EXCELLENT BTW) points about the Joe's transition from mono theism to polytheism as manifested in the BOM brought back some strange memories. I had heard some of it before, from a mish companion.

I seriously Doubted that he had a testimony at the time.
more reflection & perspective on the matter seems to confirm that notion. That being the case, INCREDIBLY the sick POS was on a mission anyway as a form of employment/ VACATION as he was sponsored by a ward in Utah. To pass the time the sick POS totally enjoyed making other elders lives into ABSOLUTE HELL.

yah I had an emotionally challenged companion,too. Yah it was hard. Yah I was emotionally distraught too! it was all real on both our parts. My heart felt for him & what he was going through. I did what I could to make things better for him ..... & the mission leaders NEVER forgave me for it!

The other malicious POS *companion*, I have NO respect for him. Things did not turn out so well for him.

Hey guys, thanks for the stories!

Had a companion who had a 9 year old pen pal from South America who he wanted to adopt after his mission. Oh, and he used his priesthood to damn an investigator at the door.

Seriously, put all these stories together and you have a regular mission. It's crazy out there. Missionaries are encouraged to be as "faithful" as possible and to rely on that faith all the time.

The story about stopping in the street and praying for direction? Nothing shocking there. It happened all the time. Okay, usually it was with a map, or just pulling an idea out of your head, but otherwise, no big deal.

And the personality conflicts are de rigeur. Just think of a co-worker you don't like, now imagine being stuck with them for 24/7 and no way to leave.

Okay, so my favorite story actually involved a companion I rather liked. He decided that we needed to have faith and be just like the Bible missionaries.

SO, one day, we just started walking without any money or any supplies (cause they did it in the Bible!). We went wherever "the lord" wanted us to go. Eventually, we were in the middle of nowhere and decided to sleep under a tree. The next morning we woke up and kept walking.

Some people (who were probably members) took pity on us and gave us some food and water. The second night I think we slept on top of a picnic table somewhere.

The third day we kept walking and I think we were getting a little smelly (it was in the tropics). I remember being very sunburned (this was before sunscreen), and we both complained of hemmorhoids. Not to mention thirst and hunger.

After the third full day of walking, someone came by and offered to give us a ride anywhere we wanted to go. My companion refused and said we would just keep proseltying until "God" had us stop.

I decided I'd had enough and so I worked up some tears and told the guy that I really, really felt that the lord had tested us and we'd passed, and now it was time to go back to our room and spend the night.

Thank god it worked.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 04:12PM by luckychucky.

My MTC comp, my trainer and the first comp I had after my trainer were all okay. I was a little spoiled. After that:

1. Elder Eagle. A poser - rich kid with poor social skills whose father was forever disappointed in him and had made it clear he would be dissatisfied with anything less than his son becoming an AP. Kid never had a chance at that. At the time I served with him he was a DL and obsessing that it was time for him to become a ZL, so he got very worked up around transfers. The call to ZL never came. He was very sex-obsessed and constantly fretted about his masturbation problem. Later ran into him at BYU - he had not changed a bit.

2. Elder Jordan. Had the good fortune to serve with him and Eagle at the same time in our mission's only "threesome." We shared a single bedroom - what fun. Very nice guy, very intelligent, but had some real doubts about the church (fair enough, but made it difficult to be his mission companion at the time). He wouldn't wear what we called "pross" (the missionary uniform) and insisted on going out in t-shirt and jeans with his name tag. Drank roughly 20 Dr. Enuf's per day. Hated Eagle and let him know it about every 10 minutes.

3. Elder Layton. Big cowboy who really missed team roping. Great guy, didn't want to be a missionary. We spent a lot of time in the apartment and outside the mission boundaries.

4. Elder Eagar. Great guy. Had IBS or lactose intolerance, which made for a couple of interesting situations at member's houses (e.g., 30 minute excursions to the bathroom). Had never kissed a girl, which I thought very strange.

5. Elder Cedar. Okay guy, kind of conceited. Really hung up on penis size, for some reason. We made several trips to the local library so he and another elder, Rex, could research the average length of the male member.

6. Elder Hillsboro. Clearly a doubter - very hung up on the pre-1990 temple ceremony. Couldn't ride a bicycle worth a damn. Had some serious emotional issues and actually had a partial nervous breakdown when we were together as a result of deciding to go off his meds (and of living with me, I think) - loads of laughs. Hadn't had any luck with women prior to the mish - I don't think he'd ever kissed a girl.

7. Elder Vegas. Great guy who was devastated, and understandably bitter, when his dad died during his mission. He was about 6'6" and proud of it.

"less faithful" missionaries than my stalwart companions. Not stuck with them 24/7 mind you, just catching up.

For the "more effective missionaries" I'd imagine they are all married with kids and drowning in church callings. Boring

The companion I want to see most again caused me the most grief. I followed her around for weeks while sharing as few words as possible with her. When I first met her she told me that 1. She was not into following mission rules. 2. She didn't like farangs (the Thai term for foreigner) and 3. She damn well was going to keep her beta fish against mission rules. So, we didn't talk much.

I was nearing the end of my mission. I had been made senior companion/trainer in my last area which from the perspective of my greenie was a totally faith demoting experience and I come into this new area thinking that I would finally have a chance to be productive. I was one of those "less effective" missionaries, but still highly obedient, sigh. I think the reason I got put with Sunan, who was in her last area, was b/c the MP figured my numbers weren't so great, and we sure don't want her to depress another greenie.

And as it turns out, from my current perspective, the time she spent working with a member who was suicidal was the most useful thing that happened on my mission. I can't even take credit for helping since my comp was Thai and one of the things Sunan talked to the member about was divorcing her abusive husband. Being Thai, Sunan had an understanding of divorce Thai style and could offer this member help in ways no farang missionary (no matter how skilled at the language) ever could.

So, Sunan, if you're out there, I see things from a totally different perspective now. Come chat!

Sister Stevens

We are having fajitas, and you'll understand in a minute.

My first companion was the most arrogant piece of shit this world has ever seen. He was sooooooo arrogant that he one time admitted that he was arrogant in an incredibly arrogant tone of voice but was trying to sound self-deprecating.

Anyway, we are at a member's house in Germany who wanted to make us a dinner that we wouldn't normally have in Germany. She made us home made soft shell tacos. It was fantastic.

We were folding up our tacos, and I've always not cared if I've gotten taco stuff everywhere because it's just tasty and who gives a shit right?

Well, I was wrong. My companion proceeds to take this as an opportunity as a "teaching moment" and shows ALL of us how to "properly" fold a soft shell taco (that's more burrito style). This wasn't any big deal at all. Whatever.

Except that while he's doing it, he gets this incredibly arrogant tone of voice and says, "I know how to do this 'right' because my MOM does this for a living."

Oh, holy tit fucking ghost, it took everything in my power not to just laugh as hard as I could in his face and say:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just because your mom works at fucking taco bell doesn't mean you can lord over some 'precious truths' to the rest of us peasants.

What, does your father know the Colonel's Secret Recipe too? Well guess what? No one gives a shit, you poor excuse for illiterate trailer trash!

Good thing your Taco-Time mommy didn't decide to throw you in the dumpster when she had you, so we could all be blessed with your superior tortilla folding skills."

Yes, my frustration had been building up for quite some time.

Please please!! I hope Stone & Parker read this thread for tsome last minute rewrites on the Book of Mormon Musical!

The taco one would be nice. XD That's hilarious!

My trainer was a drill sergeant. We were together for three VERY long months. One-third of my missionary journal is filled with the wierd and manipulating crap he did.

This is just one story but shit like this happened almost every day:

The mission rules stated that we were to go to bed at 10:30 PM. Well, one day I was so exausted that I went to bed as soon as we got home (my personal dictator had us out knocking on doors from sun-up to sun-down). Naturally, we had companionship prayer every night before bed. Well guess what? This jerk wouldn't pray with me because it wasn't 10:30 yet. That's right. Because it wasn't 10:30.

Well, when 10:30 rolls around I'm good and asleep. He suddenly comes bouncing into the room, turns on the light, wakes me up, and actually expects me to get out of bed to pray with him. I told him to go ahead and pray and I would stay in bed. Oh no! That's not going to happen! He wants me out of bed and on my knees. Well, sorry, but I'm just not going to.

To make a very long night short, this jerk carried on for hours and hours trying to manipulate me out of bed. He did everything he could to prevent me from going back to sleep: keeping the light on, banging on furniture, singing loudly. He carried on for hours! He was so used to being in complete control that he would not let me win, but I refused to get out of bed. I think he finally stopped after about three or four hours. The next morning he couldn't understand why I was upset with him and wouldn't talk.

In this moment, I thank Zeus that I was a girl and was never expected to serve a mission. Otherwise, I would be serving a life sentence at a maximum security prison, my hair in nappy braids and about 4 teardrop tattoos under my left eye.

None of mine were too weird. One told me to stop wearing sun glasses because it made me look stuck up. He used to pray during comp. prayer for me to gain humility. He stopped doing this when instead of "amen" at the end of the prayer I'd say "fuck you."