There was a great thread called Funniest things that happened to you in church. I really enjoyed reading it. I'd like to continue it, if anyone's interested.

My funny thing was when one time a little 2 year old boy was sitting in the front row. His mom had to leave for a minute (bathroom?) and left him under his dad's care. The dad wasn't paying attention, and the little guy dropped his pants and peed in a vase of flowers. Of course, everyone in the church saw it happen, except the dad. The little boy turned around and noticed everyone watching him (some were appalled and some were smiling, trying not to crack up) and took out his weener and started swinging it around (what there was to swing). Finally the dad noticed and grabbed him and ran out of the church. Everyone was laughing so hard it actually broke up the meeting.

What the boy did would be mildly humorous; but the fact that it happened largely due to the father's inattention--even though he KNEW he temporarily was the only one in charge of the boy!--is what made it particularly funny to me.

I probably would not have been amused had I been the man's DW, however!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2011 10:55PM by WiserWomanNow.

That sounds like something my niece's little boy would do. As soon as he figured out how to get his diaper off, he preferred to use the carpet. He was worse than the dogs. LOL.

I lived in a ward in Palmdale, CA that never failed to provide entertainment every single Sunday.

Two of the most memorable:

1) There was a sister who's hubby was inactive, but he came to sacrament meeting one Sunday because she was speaking. Everything started out smoothly; I think the topic was "Blessings That Come From Obedience," or something like that.

I drifted off because it was insanely boring until suddenly she started talking about cold sores and how they were a physical side effect of sin. Apparently, people who are very spiritual can literally see the sin radiating from the sore like rays of sunlight.

At this point, her husband just stands up in the middle of a row and walks out.

2) At a F&T meeting, a new convert got up to report her conversation with Jesus that very morning. He wanted her to call us all to repentance because we were on the path to hell. The bishop let her drone on for over twenty minutes before she finally finished her task and she sat down.

I graduated from Palmdale High. and attended church in that stake center across the street from the high school.

You know those really tall windows in the chapel? My mom was the ward organist so we always sat in the same side row near the front so that mom could access the organ easily. This row happened to be right next to one of those tall windows. My little sister was draping the curtain over her head one sacrament meeting. This window had an inside ledge just six inches off the floor. My sister stood on this, holding firmly to the curtain, and jumped off. The entire curtain came tumbling down, piling on top of her.

and are you sure the little boy wasn't so little? Maybe he was more like 18.

Come on, fess up.

LOL, hahah, that was hilarious, but only because I'm a woman. But if I could've done something like that, I probably would've. I used to refuse to go to church unless I could wear my red cowgirl boots.

A single woman had a son that had some mental impairments that undoubtedly wore her down. Well a young lady was giving her talk, and in the middle of it this woman stands up and yells "Get Out!" Pointing at the door, talking to her son. The woman stops in the middle of her talk and just stares at this woman. The woman then proceeds to lie down across the front pew like it is a bed. This young lady just stops in the middle of her talk and sits down. It was hilarious. They ended up sending everybody to Sunday School early. I came out during Sunday School, and the lady was yelling about Devils and to get them away from her. They ended up taking her to the hospital. She never showed her face again in church as I am sure she was very embarrassed by the whole situation.

I'm beginning to think Sacrament meeting would have been a whole lot more interesting had we sat further back.

An old guy that I know once got his words mixed up in F&T meeting and instead of saying "I stand here at this pulpit", he stood up bolt upright and proclaimed "I stand here at this bullshit!"

I know this sounds unbelievable but this was genuinely witnessed by my wife 15 years ago. She says a few people chuckled but the majority weren't listening and didn't even raise an eye. What made it even funnier (and I know this guy well so I can appreciate this) is that the gentleman is a real fastidious TBM'er and pompous ass who enjoys calling people to repentance (and the kind of guy that would say "I stand here at this pulpit"). My wife asked him a couple of years later about this and he claimed to know nothing about it. We know different.

That's hilarious!

At F&T meeting I heard a old guy get up and tell about god's miraculous intervention. He was some kind of mechanic or something that was working on the Enola Gay the day it bombed Japan. He told of some huge problem that they couldn't solve that was threatening to ground the flight, and related how he then offered up a prayer in his mind, and miraculously the problem went away. This poor bastard couldn't see the irony of god fixing a plane that flew off and vaporized hundreds of thousands of innocent people.

Now THAT'S funny - in a sort of twisted way. :)

Was going through BYU and found it challenging. She would take her math homework to church and do it during sacrament meeting and sit in the first row of Gospel Doctrine and work on her homework.

That batshit crazy lady is now serving a mission in Germany.

I used to be on the administrative staff at the BYU Study Abroad office back in the day. One great story was about a particularly mischievous student in Israel always causing problems and screwing off. To mess with him the staff stole his passport when the group was getting ready to leave the country. Since the kid's passport was missing they fed him a bunch of horror stories about being stuck in-country for months, etc. On the last day they stuck it under some bedding in his bed.

Fast forward about 18 months and the troublesome kid is having his missionary farewell. Some of the staff goes to the sac mtg. The kid gets up to speak and begins to describe his conversion and tells this story about . . . . wait for it . . . . a time when he was desperate to find his lost passport . . and he knelt in fervent prayer pleading with the lard to not let him stay stuck for months, and he KNOWS the lard heard his prayer and made the passport magically appear after tearing apart his room over and over . . .

The staff people are popping a vein trying not to laugh. In the end no one had the heart to tell him haha.

He'll be talking about that miracle the rest of his life.

I have another one:

My niece is a super singer, she has a beautiful voice. She's very often asked to sing at all kinds of events and such.

So, one day she's singing a song at church and this old guy, who had been there forever and was part deaf, I mean he was at least 90 something, he starts yelling at her to quit, he doesn't think that song belongs in church. Believe me, she was singing something appropriate.

She stopped for a minute, then continued on. The old guy got out of his seat in the back and came up to the front and started whacking at her with his cane, it was right out of some funny TV show. My poor niece didn't know what to do, she was SO embarrassed, so she just headed out the back door, with this old guy sort of following after her, chewing her out.

He ended up in a nursing home shortly thereafter, so it kind of wasn't funny in that sense, but it just left the whole place in a state of shock (except for those of us who were trying not to roll on the floor laughing). It took my poor niece a bit before she would sing again.

.... my little 4 year old brother belting out the F bomb while the sacrament was being passed. ha ha.