I turned in my resignation to the church in 1997 and was quickly let go with little fanfare from the church proper. Unfortunately, I still had a lot of mixed feelings and found myself returning to church after that from time to time. My son was in a nursery class and I thought his teacher seemed like a really sweet lady so at Christmas, I made up a gift bag for her from our family. We looked up her address and drove out to her place where she lived with her husband and kids. It took us a while to find it. I had a small baby at the time, so I stayed in the car while my poor totally EX Mormon husband and two toddlers went to the door with the gift. My husband returned a minute later and said "Did you hear that?" I said I had not. My husband told me that the teacher's husband opened the door, registered my husband and two small children standing there with a Christmas gift, said "OOPS!" at the top of his lungs and slammed the door in their faces!

Forever I have wondered how this man knew who my husband was. We were never "Big Mormons". DH absolutely never attended and I was small potatoes in Mormon town. Am I wrong to assume that this person knew very well that my husband was an apostate? I need to know exactly how this information is spread around.

I have over the years felt paranoid but I swear it's real. When we first moved to this city I went to my son's new school and I swear to God, I could feel just this nasty sneering judgment seeping out of two couples in my direction, couples I had never seen in my life, but they did have that Mormon "look" (you know that look). Sure enough, years later I found out that they are both Mormon families. How in the world do these people know that I'm an apostate? Are there power point presentations in these Elders Quorum meetings? I keep envisioning a map with TACKS in it of apostate homes. Go ahead and tell me I'm paranoid. I think I'd prefer that.

Well, maybe he thought it was just someone at the wrong house or something. But was rude, regardless.

It could have been something totally unrelated to your resignation/apostasy. He could have been just having a really crappy day and got sick and tired of all these people with their door ringing and their Christmas Caroling and dropping off cookies. He might have been struggling with his own rejection of Christmas and just took it out on you. Heck, he probably figured y'all were a bunch of TBM-do-gooders and was just tired of all the phoniness.

It also could be that your husband was on his s**tlist for years before that for cutting him off in traffic or disagreements on whether to be in a labor union (solidarity, brother!) or maybe your husband mentioned something insulting to his faith to his face along the lines of (in best TV announcer-type-voice) Invisible Pink Unicorn vs. Flying Spaghetti Monster -- which side are *you* on?!?!?!

Or something else. I guess my point is that the animosity may be completely unrelated to your leaving the Church.

I believe you are not paranoid. You are seeing reality, which is a peculiar people so inbred and unhappy that they constantly check each other. If they are going to be miserable toeing the impossible line of perfection, they are going to make sure you aren't doing any better.

When I first moved to Utah in the 70's, I was a hip young woman wearing miniskirts and swede calf boots. I was one of two brunettes in the Pleasant Grove ward and the other one dyed her hair black. They stared at me constantly, waiting for the Babylon to ooze out of my ears. Waiting for a slip. One of my neighbors actually accused me, saying she found footprints in the snow in front of my house at 6:00 am in the morning. They were so sure I was having sex that they would ask me to identify a strange car in my driveway. For months I could not believe they were so interested in my boring life raising little boys. But they were. Here's the creepiest part of all-- the assuming of the worst combined with wanting to know every little thing, like where I dumped my leaves.

And this happened in several parts of the state, not just Utah county. One of the greatest blessings of California is the anonymity, the privacy. People here have their own lives. It's like Mormons have their lives so circumscribed they have to live vicariously off people they fancy are more free (and they hate them for it).


Anagrammy

Waaaay back when, I was attending the U of U and went to Tooele to spend the day with my favorite aunt, whose husband was away in the military. It got late, so we decided I'd stay the night rather than driving back to SLC. She dug up a pair of my uncle's PJs for me. Monday morning she did the laundry and hung it, including PJs, on the line to dry. Within hours, she got a visit from her sister, who lived on the other side of town, and a phone call from the bishop. Aunt's neighbors had reported male PJs in her laundry. Only in Utah, I believe.

An adult whispers something in the ear of a kid who, in turn, whispers that something in the ear of the kid next to him or her and on and on and one until it goes through the entire congregation and finally lands in the bishop's ear.

What began with you dutifully making your rounds as a home teacher ends with you screwing around with your home teacher and you suddenly find yourself in a Court 'O' Love.

Damn Primary.

Timothy

We had moved into a new house and new ward in So. California.
After a few months of living there our 19 year old daughter came to visit during spring break from college.

I was early for S&M meeting and sat up front,DH and daughter came in late and sat further back, talking and laughing.

By the time meetings ended, I was accosted in the hall by the RS prez who was visibly distressed.

She and her counselors thought DH brought a girlfriend to church and I had a hard time convincing her that this was indeed our daughter.

Damn, those old beotches have an over-active imagination.

please understand, that isnt how all mormons are. sure, some can be snotty. there was a missionary who served in our ward for a little while, who was like that. he told my mom she should be ashamed for working on sundays. sure, she did, but it was the first job she could get in a long (she really did look, but all the jobs were taken. we auctually had to move across the country so she could have this job) and she had to work if she wanted to keep her job. anyways, besides him, i havent met any like that, and i hope people dont see me that way. in many wards i have been in and visited, most people arent like that. but i have noticed that in the east, they seem to be more accepting of differences than in the west. but that might be just me. i am still in young womens, so i still have a lot to learn, but i hope you meet people who arent so rude. well, i think everyone does have that judgement part inside of them, but unless its good, why bother showing it? people like that bug me. just because i am mormon like them, doesnt mean i have to approve on how they act. well, i hope you, random person, have good luck in life. it may sound cheesy, but what the heck.

I once had a married mormon friend who was not exactly living her religion. The RSP and her counselors drove 30 miles one way (unannounced) to knock on my door, and demand I tell them what my friend was up to. I was shocked. I told them if they wanted to know they would have to ask her. I was immediately released from my calling and was blacklisted after that. I lived in the midwest, but the 3 RS darlings were Utah natives. That bunch of hens were something else.

My dad and I went to a ward dinner in a cousin's ward when I was about 14. It was just before I quit TSCC. Some creepy high priest came over near where we were sitting and said to my dad "you should be ashamed of yourself..she [meaning me] is young enough to be your daughter." I was livid and literally spit at the creep and said "I am his daughter you moron."

When I was 24 there was a HT who tried to hit on me every time he came over to my house. I was an apostate for 9 years by then and I threatened to tell his bishop about it......he was awful and married of course. He actually had the b**** to say that telling the bishop would do no good b/c it would ruin my reputation. I quickly informed him that I don't give a rat's ass what TSCC thinks of me but that he does so it would be his reputation that was ruined. He quit bothering me completely.

Wow! How did this year-old post show back up again on the boards! I only came across it on accident, scrolling through.

Thank you for all your responses. I've been struggling with wanting to return to "The Church" lately, so I use RfM to ward off the, uh ward.

I'll try not to laugh while saying this.....
The lord works in mysterious ways. lmao

I do hope that you have been saved from your temptation though.

This one was resurrected by ajb, a young mo who wants us to know mormons are good people. ;-)

I've noticed a lot of old threads popping up lately. Kinda weird.