Pain woke me up really early this morning, and I read the cancer thread which got me thinking.

There's no way I can go back to sleep until my own pain levels come down - so I decided to start another thread that should prompt a few people to remind me that I still need to kill myself. Because how else would my life be complete?

Everyone here knows that one of Mormonism's core doctrines (or possibly core "folklores" depending on what's popular at the time) is that Life is a Test.

This life is filled with "trials and tribulations" either caused by Elohim or allowed by Elohim to be caused by Satan or consequenses of "agency."

Bad stuff happens to people, and it's SUPPOSED TO. Because we have to prove to Elohim that we are, like the Karate Kid, the "Best Around and Nothing is Ever Gonna Get Us Down."

Life is Cobra Kai and will sweep the leg of anyone and everyone. And while Elohim set the rules of the tournament, he's not going to enforce any kind of "please fight with honor" crap because - really - Elohim is just wanting to see whether or not you will crain kick the Adversary in the face after being grossly mistreated in the ring. If you want the love of the girl in the big ugly sweater and anachronistic poodle skirt, you are going to have to earn it through very literal blood, sweat, and tears.

Only then will you fully understand that all of those service projects about painting widow's houses, helping people move, and scrubbing the stakehouse toilets were really just teaching you Karate to use against Satan and his gang of school yard bullies.

However, this kind of mentality about life supposing to be all about getting kicked around because a god desined it to be that way can cause problems when it comes to dealing with other people's pain.

This is especially compounded when you have this notion that when you do naughty things, like play pranks on Satan's minions during a Halloween dance, that some Elderly Okinawan will step in and save you after you've been beaten by said minions- but before you have been beaten to death.

The man is there to take away some of YOUR pain, and to save you.

However, these two ideas often end up leeching TBMs' empathy and sympathy towards others in pain.

Because Elohim WANTS you to get beaten up. He specifically designed life to beat you up; it's the only way you'll learn anything.

And Jehova has already been through way more than your dumb little problems. You're just getting bullied. Jehova went through war, watched his buddies get killed, and then his wife died. So, why are you being such a whiny little baby when someone punches you right in the crap factory?

Jehova has earned the right to get drunk. But you have chores to do. There's a whole lot filled with cars that need to be waxed. Get to it! Don't think about it or question why you need to do it. Simply trust that all that hard work will pay off in the form of a big showdown where you can get kicked around some more. But this time, if you win - Satan will leave you alone.

Unless he was lying about leaving you alone if you win. But that's ok too. Don't worry. If Satan still comes after you when the tournament is over, Jehova will FINALLY step in again and honk Satan's nose.

But that's getting too far off point. The point still is that this framework allows you to disassociate from other people's pain incredibly easily.

Your best friend is hurting? Just remind him/her that Elohim made it this way and Jehova will take care of everything if it gets "too hard."

Done and done.

Your kid is in pain? Again, sorry, little dude, but Elohim really thinks you can kick Satan in the face standing on one leg. Actually, he's counting on it. You don't want to lose the tournament, do you?

You better NOT want to lose, kid. Because this tournament is really important. If you lose. You will be bullied FOREVER by Satan.

And that concept is a great thing to be focusing on when your kid is in pain. Not the pain itself, or even the child.

But focusing on "winning."

With this attitude though you have to disassociate from the pain. Because if it distracts you, you might lose. Which would be such a shame.

Don't think about the pain. Don't get distracted. You've got to keep your eye on the prize.

Because life is just one big competition.




I say these things in the name Mr. Miyagi, paint the fence.

It's unbelievable that I used to think this way. Now it's clear that shit happens. It just does.

You nailed it Raptor. That kind of mentality has encouraged me to kick many friends to the curb. "Oh your chronic illness is giving you problems. Well you know god never gives us more than we can handle." The empathy, sympathy and overall compassion is lacking.

I'm sorry that you are still having pain from your surgery. I am slow healer and A bad scarrer(haha pretty sure that's not a real word) too. So I feel for you.

P.S. my pain is worse than your pain. How dare you talk about yours! ;)

The Mormons love to celebrate them some suffering. In fact, they love it so much, they're now trying to convince the YM/YW that the re-enactment of suffering is FUN! Juh-hee-zhus. I remember when our major YM/YW activity for the summer was a 2-3 day trip water-skiing. Today's YM/YW get the handcart trek.

Life provides enough challenges and suffering just in the living of it. Nobody, including TSCC, needs to manufacture ways to increase suffering, but they do seem to excel at it.

p.s. I suspect Boyd K. Thwacker is going to be calling in the men to discuss their affinity for the "wax off" part of Mr. Miyagi's training program.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/27/2013 09:48AM by Surrender Dorothy.

Thanks for the earworm, RJ.

Dammit.

:: wanders off humming cheesy 80s tunes ::

Bad shit just happens to everyone. All we can do is try to make the world a better place, by trying to remove as much as the shit as we can, but we are never going to get it all. We might not even get most of it.

BTW, you have better get better, because I want to someday want to create the next South Park, and I can only pull that off if I find a bunch of funny guys like you to do most of the work, while I take a good deal of the credit.

"A person shouldn't believe in an ism; a person should believe in himself."

The whole come-to-this-earth-to-be-tested problem is that it's wrong. Apparently there was no real need to come here to get tested. Mentally challenged and kids under 8 (including the aborted) get a free pass (in tscc's eyes). So they apparently had all of the challenges they needed before this life. And Jesus? He was a god for godsake with no mortal experience necessary. If they could do it, apparently trhere was a way (if you believe the whole bullsh!t story).

Just more BS to keep you from truly showing compassion for your fellow man.

Loud Applause. You are making it very difficult to wait for your next book.

Your sentiment was as electric as your writing. I could not agree more with the concept, even if I had lived it myself--oh wait, I did.

I hope you are doing well, but the torture you are going through is not hurting your writing at all.

I still want to win, but not in the Mormon arena. They can have that victory.

I don't see the trouble as being having a master to lead the way and teach you or having ways of thinking that encourage you to overcome adversity, and whatnot. (Excuse me, I'm very hazy on my Karate Kid-lore). And today I'm on a let's-get-into-the-21st-century-kick, so forgive me that too.

Pertaining to the 21st century, two principles of 21st Century spirituality are: all are one; and life is eternal. The idea that Life is a Test violates both of these principles. Life is a test violates the principle that all are one. Because if life is a test someone has got to stand outside of the test, write it, administer, and grade it. All are not one, then.

Life is a Test can be analogized to a wagon wheel. The proctor sits on the hub of the wheel and candidates sit at the ends of each spoke. The relationship is of many individuals facing one authority. All are not one. All are one can be analogized to a net, with each person's being a knot. There is no one outside of the net. No one's administering or grading. You learn the material for your own sake and that of others. If learning isn't its own reward, and you can't use the material; then there is no reward, and the material's useless. There's no one outside of the net who can pay you. Everyone rises or falls together.

Life is a Test, conventionally speaking, also violates the principle that life is eternal. If life is eternal, there is only Now and Now and Now and on and on. There is no beginning of the test and ending of the test. Any division of time at all is arbitrary. There's no point in trying to elbow one's way to the front because there is no front, it just starts over again.

80's movies? Think: Groundhog Day. Once you realize that life's eternal: this day will start over tomorrow, even if you kill yourself today (over and over again), nothing is worth doing except delighting yourself by delighting others.