I know its been discussed before but I can't remember what was said. A friend I have met in college told me that I am the most secular person she has ever met and is absolutely amazed I was a STRONG mormon. I've told her that I was brainwashed and have journals to prove it. She wants to read my journals. She is just really interested. She is NOT interested in becoming mormon.

She has asked for me to take her to church. I told her "MAYBE" and for sure only SM.

How many of you have visited SM just for the hell of it and because someone was talking, singing, etc.?

This is what I have said from the first. For one thing,I don't think I could sit there for more than a few seconds. I think it would be traumatizing.

I played my cello in my wife's ward for the "Christmas" program. (I'm pretty sure the bishop had to bend a few of the CHI rules for that, as technically I'm an unfaithful member rather than a non- or even ex-member. But that's another story.) Partly I did it because I love music and I had a wonderful arrangement to play. Partly I did it because it's nice to wave the "good apostate" flag, to have all the empty-headed TBMs who ordinarily see you as a loathsome apostate talk about the "spirit" you brought to the meeting. And partly I did it to show my wife that, while I no longer agree with her religious beliefs, I can stand to enter her house of worship once or twice a year.

I don't think there should be any rules on this. If you are both comfortable with it and can get a good laugh out of it, I don't see any reason not to. If you find the church so odious that you can't handle it, then don't feel bad about refusing to go. I say it's that simple.

Decades ago there was a twenty-ish girl in my ward whose mother played the harp. The mother (and father) were nevermos; the twenty-ish daughter a convert. The mother played her harp in sacrament meeting once and it was absolutely beautiful. After she played the bishop said, "Now we know why angels are painted with harps." He was a good bishop, very kind and welcoming. I've also heard violins played in sm. Enjoyed it very much.

I occasionally go for baby blessings (and only to SM). I actually find it pretty hilarious that I used to buy into all that shit.

Take her to a F&T meeting.

Our UU religious education program did a thing this year for the middle school kids called Tolerance Through Understanding, where they'd study a religion and then attend a service there and then invite someone from there to come answer questions. They would arrange it with the church beforehand and most of them were so happy to have us come do that.

They went places like a Jewish service, and Islamic center, a Baptist megachuch and a Catholic church. The kids really wanted to go to a Mormon church and asked if I would take them. I did consider it and thought it would be great to take them to an F&T meeting. But the whole idea was not to create prejudice and ridicule other religions, it was to try to build bridges. I mean these are Unitarians. They come to services in shorts and flip flops. They were all really good about dressing up for the other churches, but still, that did not require ties or panty hose or white shirts. I did not think they would be welcomed as just a group who was observing, not interested in converting and I didn't know if the missionaries or anyone would come to our church the next week to answer questions. I just didn't want to subject them to it.

So I think if they are still interested this semester, we'll take a day and go out to the stake center complex--the church and the McTemple are on the same piece of property on the corner, and I'll just talk about it and tell them the difference between the two buildings, maybe attempt to walk into each building so they can see what happens, talk about the genealogy library, etc. And I'll just answer all the questions myself.

I once taught at a Catholic school and one of the religion classes was apparently studying other religions. They had ministers, rabbis, and a Hare Krishna guy come to visit class. Of course, I have no idea what the religion teacher said after the guest left, but I was pleased with their inclusiveness.

Youth from other churches/synogauges/worship centers/islamic centers.

Each group within the big group would trade one Sunday a month with the other youth group (with our leaders present at all times), and just go to learn about their religion/culture.

It was really neat. The idea behind it, was how can you "know" what you beleive, if you don't first know what other ideas are out there...that and to teach tolerance. At the end of the year, all 12 groups were together in a symposium to discuss what we had learned/gained from the experience. If I remember correctly, it was Baptist, Catholic, Islamic, Jewish, Messianic Jewish, Greek Orthodox, Budhist, Lutheran, Episcopalean, and I can't remember the other two...the one I enjoyed the most was the Messianic Jewish one...

Very enlightening...

If you do it, make sure you go to a Ward you are a stranger to, and use fake names and back stories to answer the nosy questions.

I haven't set foot in a mormon chapel since 1975 and don't plan on reversing that trend any time soon. But If I did and someone started asking questions, I'd say "I haven't set foot in a mormon chapel since 1975 and just wanted to see if you folks are still nuts."

Timothy

Go to brunch, or Starbuck's, or a matinee, or skiing--anything else. If she insists on going, tell her to go with someone else, or by herself, and that you don't want to subject yourself to that again. The past should rest.

I and my children were physically and mentally abused in Mormonism, in addition to being lied to and threatened, like everybody else. I truly have serious "Mormon phobia," and I got that same uncomfortable, nauseated feeling when I had to go in there just to vote! A TBM I used to work with in scouts was signing in the voters, and had the nerve to say in an officially private, non-partisan place: "We haven't seen you at church lately...."

A Mormon church is like a huge, toxic spider web, and if your friend gives them her name, they will be stalking her, preying on her weaknesses--even if her weakness is just curiosity.

I have gone for missionary homecomings/farewells of close friends or family members, funerals, and when my dad was ordained and released as bishop. Basically I went to support people I cared about, not because of any church BS. On a lighter note, my (now) ex (nevermo) would wear pants (a big no-no for women!) just to make a point.