Yea I verily believe in the sanctity of the fridge. Every time I go to extract a cool, frosty beer I take a moment of silence to give obeisance to it. Consider me converted.
ladies and gentlemen, it is clear that our cool brother Don has given himself to much thought and pondering if all things cool, one may call him a true student fridigarianism. A coolite of the highest degree. The great frozen one of koolob sees need for a council. The 12 frozen ones shall be heretofore know as the 12 popsicles.
let all ye become cool, defrost of the tainted and old crusties in thine homes and refreeze ye cool and clear ice. meats are chilled, drink is frosty and the harvest is ready to partake. let him that hath tounges taste,
Please grant us a few words on the blessings of tithing.
I am diligent in offering 10% of my earnings each month to the almighty fridge and I know I will never go hungry, but I have a friend who turns a deaf ear to my pleadings.
Am I casting pearl onions before swine which would be better kept for the Gibson Martinis?
The automatic defroster delivers us from the icy hell. Those who believe in and trust the defroster will never again struggle with the pans of hot water and the ominous THUNK of the falling slab. Accept the grace of the defroster so you will be freed from the curse of the frozen fingers.
just remember the only church approved weaponry are snowballs, we love the raptor, just like the whore of Babylon. we are no better than him and his followers! they just weren't as valiant in the defrosting from whence we were all melted to be cooked and tested. all are given an equal chance taste the ice and lick the frozen flag pole of truth!
My family and I have just recently been converted to the Church of the Fridge of Latter-Day Snackers by Sparkyguru himself. It was only yesterday but we felt an immediate affinity for the church because we live in Florida where coolness is very much worshiped. We are already raising our son to be a good member of this church, he routinely opens the fridge door and stands in front of it for no apparent reason... come to think of it we had a cat that would do the same only we had to open the door for him.
I am a little concerned because our fridge has the freezer on the bottom and I'm wondering if this is unnatural and an abomination because it is not oriented the same as other fridges. In spite of this I have great ambitions in this church and I am striving to be the first female Popsicle. Not for my own glory but for the glory of the fridge. I promise upon being made a popsicle to allow the wearing of whatever you want during your worship services to the fridge and the praying to the 'ice queen'.
The "orientation" of your fridge/freezer is different and therefore scary to me. As a result I will ridicule and persecute you and your unnatural ways. Then, after years of this, when society has evolved a different opinion about your upside-down situation, I will change my tune and accept you, claiming a revelation as the reason for it.
And thus we have the first sub-class of members in the Church of the Fridge of Latter-Day Snackers but this is as it should be. With out a sub-class we wouldn't have anyone to go fetch our drinks from the fridge. Also, the individual worth of the sub-class is to make everyone else feel more worthy for not having such an abominable fridge as mine.
there is nothing wrong with your fridge, it simply wasn't as well made on the planet koolob before coming here. they day will come when it will be turned upside and thus be a pure fridge worthy of making ice for all!
Hmmm... Isn't the Great Fridge of planet koolob perfect? If so, how does one so perfect make mistakes? Now, if you ask the little Fridgeron he would prefer to keep our fridge just as it is. In addition to standing in front of the open fridge in homage to it's coolness he also sneaks out ice cream treats from the freezer when I'm not looking. The fridge would not be able to answer the little one's prayers if the freezer was on top (he can't rely on me to give him ice cream treats).