The more I get into therapy and my 12-steps, the more I realize how unhealthy and codependent Mormon thinking is. It's so deeply ingrained in me; I'm BIC 42 year-old. I've made the comment to more than one person that going back to Mormonism would be like eating my own vomit, it would just make me sick all over again. I just wish my wife and kids would realize all this and get out too, but I'm not going to force them.

Lately, I've been angry a lot at TSCC. I realize this is unhealty too. It's time to move on. This board really helps. I think sometimes satirizing the ridiculous in TSCC helps me a lot, but also comes across as angry. I think most of us on this board, I could be wrong, are in different stages of healing. We left a cult that controlled our mind for so long.

"also comes across as angry"

i'm not trying to be snarky but - so what?

the thing about being angry on RfM is... this is the perfect place to do it

I think it's just fine to make fun of TSCC here or even to have a full-on rage filled rant every so often - better here than in front of our TBMs, right?

it's hard to fully move on from Mormonism because Mormonism is so invasive - I can see how a single convert could literally just let it all go but anyone that was TBM is going to have residual fall out - it's going to keep coming into my life from time to time because I have TBM parents and siblings and a TBM ex, etc. - Mormonism for someone married to a TBM is going to be all the more pervasive

anyway, hope that all makes some kind of sense (i'm recovering from surgery today and on pain meds and can tell im' rambling...)

Don't worry, anger is part of the process. I've been out for 17 years. I've moved on in almost every way. But every once in a while I hear about something TSCC has done that really pisses me off. It's a process we've all been through. As time goes on you'll get angry less and less.

Others may disagree, but in my opinion you can be completely recovered from mormonism and still get angry at them. Mormons sometimes use the line, "You left mormonism, how come you can't leave it alone?" My reply is that as long as the mormons are sending missionaries door-to-door they're not leaving me alone. And until they keep to themselves I'm entitled to have an opinion on everything they do.

Be patient with your family. Make sure they know you love them just as much now as you ever have. It really fucks with their minds when the big, bad evil apostate has become a much better person than they ever were while mormon.

Bezoar, well said. As I put it in a letter to the editor some years ago, "Religion is a shoddy sideshow in the carnival of life."

Mormonism requires that you be codependent in order to fit in.

I went through a 12 step program. When I went to church I felt like I would have to dumb down and go backward in order to be considered a 'good' mormon.

The Mormon way of thinking is extremely unhealthy. Not just for one group, but for everyone there. The adults are playing out codependency and all of its sickness, while indoctrinating the kids into that way of thinking and living.

The men play the role of Mr. priesthood, and I give the orders. The women are playing the door mat and being taught that it's their responsibility to make everyone happy except themselves. They're taught that there life is one where they don't deserve to have their needs met. They aren't important enough.

As a result, it's very rare to find someone who is mentally healthy. The more mormon they are the more unhealthy. If they aren't going along with the mormon way of doing things, they will eventually come out of the church just to be able to breathe.

Sometimes the only way to get through anger is to process it, and distance yourself. If I was going to church each Sunday (or lived in Utah/Idaho) it would be a lot different.

You can only control yourself. You can ask for things from other people, but those are requests. Ultimately, they will make their own choices.

Mormonism does have a lot of unhealthy thinking - but so do lots of other belief systems.