My MINO wife is very concerned that our 15 year-old daughter may end up deciding to go on a mission. She said that she will neither encourage nor discourage her. She's very concerned that our daughter will get raped on her mission and that TSCC will attempt to cover it up. Based on other stories on this board, I'm starting to realize that's a strong possibility. I think it would be great for her to go to learn another language, but I think the better course of action would be for her to get into a program at a University that would allow her to study abroad. Sure, there's still a chance she'd get raped, but she'd also have more safeguards in place, IMHO.

I'm not sure about more safeguards, but certainly more recourse.

I wouldn't let my parents plan my life for me based upon the chances of getting raped in scenario A vs. scenario B.

A lot can happen in the next four years. Why not just enjoy them and have confidence that you taught your children correct principles. When it's time for them to govern themselves, I'm sure they will be fine, whether anyone gets raped or not*.



*Not trying to minimize rape in any way, as I'm a survivor myself. But that's just my point. Rape is not death. It's survivable. It's not the WORST thing that could happen. A mission might be, however...

Mormon in name only?

The likelihood of getting raped is pretty low. The companionship rule exists for a reason, and assault/rape prevention is one part of it.

If both you and your wife are inactive (states member-in-name-only), why would your daughter be contemplating a mission? I know you just resigned a couple months ago -- is your daughter still active, I presume?

One of the reasons I stayed in the church as long as I did was because I knew the anti-Mormon stuff out there seemed legitimately over-hyped. If you bring up the "You'll get raped!" concern to your daughter, the church leaders will just state what I did -- that they're in a companionship, that dangerous areas are redlined, that it's statistically rare (and coverup even moreso) -- and be right. And the opportunity to present a legitimate concern to your dd might be extinguished.

Also, "learning a language" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I became fluent in a language spoken by -1- country in the world, and am one of a few thousand white guys in the world that speaks it. It's a neat party trick, that's all.

Your daughter's at an age where friendships can leave a big impression. Another one of my struggles of disentangling myself from the church was reconciling the good people that were practically my family growing up with the abhorrent doctrines the church teaches. Can you help your daughter disentangle herself?

In any case, for what it's worth (having been that age not too long ago), I'd make two recommendations. One, get her to disentangle her friendships from the church. That doesn't necessarily mean abandoning friends in the church -- she just needs to learn that positive relationships formed at church don't make the church true. Second, give her a meaningful alternative to going on a mission -- like you said, foreign study. Or an internship somewhere. Or a job (don't know what your work situation is like).

Daughter has a lot of friendships in TSCC and mom, while she doesn't believe, requires that all the children attend a church. I prefer that they attend a church as well, but hate forcing anybody to do anything against their will. I'm probably just over-reacting to some of the other posts about missions here. I got a parasite on my mission. I see how much TSCC has messed me up and worry that it's going to mess my kids up too. I don't want to fight with wife about it. I could put my foot down and demand that we all attend the non-denominational congregation where I worship, but I think that would only cause resentment.

i served my mission on the planet Vulcan. now the only place i can use my second language is Star Trek Conventions.

I would be more afraid of parasites and other medical issues.

I'd be working on the wife to see the insanity of raising kids in a high-demand religion that neither of you believe in. Mormonism is so awful for girls and young women, why would you inflict that on them if you don't believe in it?

And really, why do you want them attending church?