do you think we could get enough followers to help the church of the fridge declare a religious war on pastafarians?

the church of the FSM may have been the first to effectively use sarcasm to promote a rational view of the universe, but they are big now, and scary with all their followers.

The fridge has revealed to me that they have lost their way and the truth ice must be restored!

". . . and as I looked up I beheld two beings, one a
refrigerator and the other a freezer, whose glory defied all
description. One, pointing to the other, said, 'this is my
beloved freezer, hear ye him.' He told me that all other
sarcastic pseudo-religions were corrupt and there was not one
pure one on the face of the earth. . . ."

If we have the battle with ice swords, that will explain why future civilizations can find no trace of us!

Wondertwin powers, activate!! Form of...


(I hated that part of the show while growing up. Way to ruin the Superfriends.)

I don't see the need for a religious war. Frigidarianism is a big religion, and once people are done with their Pastafarianism they can keep it, and place it inside their far greater, inclusive spiritual Frigidaire.

"Children, gather around while I tell of the Icebox Pioneers, who endured many years of hardship before the Monitor Top Reformation."

frigidariansim is only big if people realize that they already worship the tall cool one and the simply need to awake to that fact.

As I said in a previous thread: "This is further evidence that you people don't worship the REAL fridge. It states quite clearly in Frigidaire 12:44 that the freezer is NEVER sent on the fridge's behalf."

As far as The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is concerned, they will soon splinter off since they are so big, and Protestant sects that understand the openness of scriptural interpretation of The Holy Frigdibiblio will soon form.

And as far as worshipping the "real" fridge, I say that you will first have to denounce The Book of Maytag as being a twentieth-century concoction and nothing more before I would even consider entering your kitchen.

frigidarianism isn't a splinter of FSM, it is a restoration to truth about what we really worship.

from ages 8-18 this inherent need in the soul to worship the fridge is readily apparent. who hasn't spent time staring into the depths of chill pondering the mysteries of what is inside the fridge.


I never see that with a bowl of spagetti...

I feel moved to bear my testimonkey:

I know pastafarianism is true. I know that the FSM is the one true "higher power" for, yea, I have been touched by his noodle-y appendage.

I have felt the burning of his meatball in my heart(burn).

}tear up a bit{

And now, my cat Brewster would like to bear his testimonkey.... he plans to go on a FSMisson when he's 10...

{Brewster, a large oranj tabby approaches the microphone. I stand behind him and lean towards his furry head, whispering into his large ears while he pants right up against the mic.}

..... [scene]

The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not have a body of pasta and sauce, but one of spirit! Whirlpool 6:13.

You are all heretics who should be burned with the steaks!

The FSM loves you even as you spew your judge-y hate. and quote your flawed hole-y books.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2013 12:14PM by Pyewacket.

Considering that all Fridge owners are actually frigidarians who have yet to be enlightened to their true destiny, I have petitioned the great Google God for data regarding fridge ownership in the US. In 2009, there were 126,534,000
households with at least 1 fridge in place. There is an average of 2.5 persons per household in the US and so there are 316,335,000 inactive frigidarians just in the US. We should consider all inactive frigidarians when reporting our church statistics and that would indeed make us not only the fastest growing church but the largest church world-wide (fridge ownership around the rest of the world has not yet been considered in these number).

The only thing that concerns me about those numbers is how many of those owners may be using their fridges to masturbate.

This has been the most entertaining series of threads I have read in a long time. I wish I had the bandwidth to add to them.

Indeed.

I am the only one who is old enough to remember the movie Mosquito Coast?

Harrison Ford: "ICE IS CIVILIZATION !!!"

Did not see the movie but read the book. Very surreal.

Each of you should support a soccer team (e.g. Rangers and Celtic) and have your fans kick each other's asses.

full of holes!

We believe that when you die they throw your soul up on the roof and they can't get it down.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2013 01:16PM by Stray Mutt.

There is no archeological evidence whatsoever for Frisbiterianism. Those plastic remnants found in Rupert, Ohio were clearly from the earlier part of the new millenium, NOT the twentieth century, and they indicate that it was probably a slurpee cup and not a frisbee.

Flippin' Flyin' Spaghetti, man! Get online and do some research!

Not to be confused with frostbitearians. I heard of them, don't know what they worship, just that it never get stuck on the roof

This is what happens when people draw nigh unto me with their soft, pouty lips while their delicious squishy hearts are far from me.

There is no reason for conflict Brothers. Fridgedarianism and pastafarnianism are symbiotic by their very nature. The pastafarian relies on the cooling effects of the fridgedarian to prevent spoilage, while the fridgedarian relies on the pastafarian for purpose.

When I was a wee boy, my mother kept a beating stick next to the Frigidaire. Imagine my confusion. There was the sleek white surface of the Lord of appliances and right next to it a weapon for my painful punishment.

I started to avoid the refrigerator. I skipped the kool aid and drank sacramental tap water (well, Sacramento). It was like the fridge givith, and the fridge taketh away. How could a deity associate with such a crude weapon?

I defrostasized and turned my noodle to Pastafarianism instead. The collander cap seemed to fit well at first. But after awhile it galled me, and I found myself wearing it less and less. I finally put it on the shelf.

I decided that no religion was right for me and joined a forum with other ex-freons. Know what I like about the exes? They enjoy satire, and that's real mayonnaise.

Defrostasized? Have we already lost the first Popsicle? I warn ye that ye have given yourself to the buffetings of the raptor!

I knew not that thou were watching. Will this fig leaf cover my nakedness? Please don't throw me out of the garden. I cannot face the naked baby angels with swords. Oh, Shiz!

There has been much talk these days of stones and how seers look into them and see the future. The fridge demands this must be clarified! a true seer doesn't have the stones. it is not by stones that we feel the cool ones closeness, but by the cubes. the fridge gives of these cubes freely, and male and female are allowed to partake. so get thee some cubes feel the cool and proclaim far and wide the mysteries of the fridge that you see when open the door and its chill pooreth out on you.

each are sure to see a different mystery when they look for that is the way of the fridge, but unto each that mystery is truth. so grab your cubes, chill your drink and enjoy the refreshing blessings of the great white hum.

kicked to a new thread as this one will close soon, the fridge has foreseen it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2013 11:45AM by sparkyguru.

Pointless Discussion;

just as FSM was dying, s/he explicitly endorsed Frisbeetarianism.

It's RIGHT THERE in his/her last words; the prior referneces to other modes of belief/worship were 'Tests of our faith', only purpose to sift wheat from chaff.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2013 12:35PM by guynoirprivateeye.