Pros and cons of using my real name? I have resigned, so I don't see the big deal, but is there something I'm not considering? Let me know what you all think...
I guess anything you say "can and will be used against you"... But other than that, I don't really see it being a big deal. Especially if you are resigned. It's not like they can excommunicate you or anything.
Maybe it will make you a target in other ways? (I.e., if you have a presence on here the Church will get its network online to make sure you don't get that job or promotion or land that house or car or whatever...) Or am I being too paranoid?
I think it's a good idea to fly under the radar...at least for me. I haven't resigned yet due to DH's reluctance. It's just a matter of time though. Good comments below.
There are a number of people who use their real-life names. Another group of people, even though they are officially out, are worried about connections that they have to Mormons in real life (whether it be family, friends, co-workers, or community members) who might have problems with their ex-mo connections and postings.
I say if you're in the free and clear (no one who would be hurt or who can hurt you because of your association with this site), then go for it.
If you're in Utah.... Perhaps there could be social problems, maye even employment problems. Same would go for parts of Idaho, Arizona, etc. If you have an ex-wife and kids in Utah, big problems!
I personally have a gazillion TBM relatives. They already give me enough grief without even knowing what a "rabid anti-mormon" I am.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? I don't really think I have anyone out there who could hurt me for it, but I guess you never know. If I'm going to be out there speaking for the truth I might as well use my real name... But I'll wait for the accumulated wisdom of the board to help me make my choice.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you (snark, snark). Shortly after I put my first post out that had my town in it, the missionaries, who hadn't been to our door in years, were there asking about me. I've been told that TBM lurkers hang out here. The list of papered exmos from my town is probably pretty short. I sure hate those missionary visits. Folks have suggested the f word and a garden hose. If you like to fly under the radar, why awaken the beast?
My family are all out and I have nothing to fear on a personal level from any mormons or others. I don't even live in the US but value my privacy for many other reasons. There are folks who can just google one's name for nefarious purposes or not, just to be nosy even so I don't give my personal information away. There are a few posters that I count as friends, know me well, who wouldn't identify me directly as they too value privacy.
Anonymity allows me to post comfortably in this forum about any subject that moves me. There is no sinister reason - it just makes sense.
I have a lot of TBM family that would be terribly hurt, even though they all know I haven't had anything to do with TSCC for over ten years. That's the only reason I don't use my real name, although, from what I do use it wouldn't be very hard to figure out my real name, should anyone be so motivated. So. . . .
My wife is a TBM. She's worked very hard to finish school and start a career here in Utah County. If I were to engage openly in hostile activities* against the church it could easily damage her career. Of course I've considered that if she were to suffer for my lack of religious beliefs, it just might shake her loose, but, another big but, I don't think I should be making that kind of unilateral choice.
So I post under a nickname but my cover isn't very deep. I don't fear the church for myself. I do fear the control they have over my wife and my children.
*To a TBM posting on RFM is considered a "hostile activity"
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2013 06:42PM by koriwhoremonger.
I do value privacy, and even though I want to be bold and give the COB a big FU I probably won't post with my real name. I've got a wife and she and I both have TBM family etc. Not really worth it, I guess. Thanks everybody.
Once you use your real name, it's out there. You won't be able to unring that bell. You might want to start out *not* using your real name and then later, if you are so moved, you can change your mind and your RfM name.
I was called in to do a deposition because I used my real name once on here. There's a lesson to not do it or at least to obfuscate in case there is something someone can hold over you.
I hesitated to use my real name for several months. I was BIC to a prominent LDS family. Dad was EQP and HC and Mom was RSP. But they have been dead for years...I have no close LDS friends and finaly came to the conclusion I had almost nothing to lose...it was liberating. For those of you who don't feel you can use your real name, I fully understand and you have my respect for just being here. Hopefully some day you can be completely free.
But keep this in mind: Nothing you say on the internet will ever go away. So if you want to be able to speak freely here and not have it come back to bite you, then go anonymous. You never know when an employer (or anyone else) will google you, but the chances are that it WILL happen.
When I say something really personal or something that would identify me, I won't even use my regular board name, and I leave out information. Like now:
My income is client-based and I live in Utah County. I depend on referrals from clients who trust and respect me. I cannot afford to alienate potential clients by openly bashing the LDS church. I want people to be able to google my real name, and find my business website, rather than finding my thoughts on the Mormon church, or details about my personal life.
No way I'd use my real name. But what is funny is when you use your fake name and they recognize you from your story enough to murmur that your story has it all wrong.