Continuing this only because it is such a bone of contention. And for those of us who are older and remember a different Mormon church, it is really galling.

My sister was married in an LDS ward building in 1966. She walked down the aisle to organ music (bridal march), and walked out to some sort of organ music that had something to do with trumpets by a famous composer--something I can't remember now. Her foster father gave her away. People threw rice. There were flowers, a standard ceremony, and a nice reception with catered food.

Then things changed. The full, spirit crushing power of correlation came to be over a 15 or 20 year span. All things that did not have the temple message, which is merely a way to extort money from the believers, was implemented. There would be no activity that did not somehow have the temple message. That meant, of course, that marriages would have to reflect the temple. Therefore, this also meant that if a marriage was performed outside the temple, there would have to be a contrasting message that this was not the way that "please the Lord," and therefore unacceptable. So non-temple LDS weddings became derisive, somber, sad, depressing, and even insulting. Take out the joy, make like the couple had sinned, cause people to talk, tsk and cluck, and wag their heads, and you got a winner. The LDS hope is that people who attend are not going to want that to happen to them.

Probably a bigger problem is that outsiders who come to such a wedding are left with a terribly bitter taste that teaches them that they never want to set foot in an LDS church again. A co-worker of mine here in WA went to such a wedding in which a beer brewing buddy married an inactive LDS girl. He had no religious preference, so he went along with her idea of the bishop doing it. It was literally that--the bishop did everything, including giving the opening and closing prayers. There were not allowed music or flowers or any trappings at all. The sermon stressed how they SHOULD have been married in the temple, and were not doing something that the Lord would not have preferred. The co-worker said how at the non-Mormon reception they all got drunk and cursed the Mormons for their attitude.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God,
who is somewhat displeased, and of these witnesses (who love you
anyway) to join this couple who could not contain their lust
long enough to obey God's simple commandments for the short
period of a year, in the bonds of legal, second-class matrimony.
. . ."

The condescending and arrogant attitude of the officiating bishop still burns my butt.

"You do UNDERSTAND, don't you, that this marriage is for time only? You will NOT be together in the hereafter."

The Mormons gave a sympathetic sigh and the non-mormons rolled their eyes.