Backstory: After many years of questioning and cognitive dissonance, in 2010, I divorced my extremely manipulative and co-dependent ex, stopped pretending to attend church and have shared with my family that I no longer attend church and am considering having my name removed from the records as soon as my son graduates (next year~!).

I find myself recoiling at any attempts by non-religious groups that I'm a member of who ask me to do things like: be in charge of a committee, run registration, etc. I believe that a member of a group should participate and not be a taker, but I can't seem to make myself help out these days.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it just PTSD?

bbgoldy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone else struggle with this?

Once bitten, twice shy.

I struggle with it. I've quit a few organizations because my dues and participation weren't enough. They wanted more and more of my time.

Yes, not exact same way, but it is a challenge to invest emotionally in institutions that are top-down in their management.

I dislike being a parrot, I trusted what should have been the most trustworthy people in my life, I ended up being an effective tool for a freak cult that purposefully was withholding information from me even though I was at a university level of their studies, a religious leader, and missionary actively soliciting converts that were happy in other faiths.

Never again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2013 08:29PM by gentlestrength.

Definitely. I am soooo enjoying not committing to much of anything. I go to a different church now WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, and the only thing to which I commit is playing music for some of their services. But I absolutely don't want my life and my Sundays sucked up like they used to be!!

I have an absolute phobia about joining any organization after the struggle to get away from TSCC. The thought of joining any organization makes me think of walking on a giant sheet of flypaper. No doubt an overreaction but that's the way it is.

Word. +100

I think this is an important step. Start with an organization that isn't a high emotional impact for you. Maybe you don't have a lot of friends there, there is no real downside if you leave. For example, the PTO.

If you feel up for volunteering, volunteer. Set your limits. If you are specifically asked to do something you don't feel comfortable with, say no. If it's too much for your physical, mental health, leave. It's like learning to flex muscles. As you are able to set boundaries with the organization, it will be easier next time.

Don't fall for the guilt trip. I got one last year. Another mom on the PTO said to me "If you really cared about this school, you would do (whatever it was)". I found myself so thankful that I could see this tactic for the guilt trip it was. There was a time I would have said "How high?". Now I'm able to put myself and my needs first.