I wonder how many tbm's think they KNOW the church is true. Hoe many BELIEVE they know it is true. How many fake it. How many just dont care about it. And how many just dont have a clue.
I think that in order to remain IN, you must to really ignore many things, ignore others and play along the rest.

Honestly I thought I knew it was true. I thought I'd heard everything there was to hear about the church. Turns out I hadn't.

I'm pretty sure my TBM family really believes it. They have never expressed one doubt.

I believed it was true. I never knew about a lot of the problems with Mormonism because the church kept me too busy to ask questions. And for a long time, I really bought into their "happy family" song and dance. When I got that coveted temple marriage and small apartment/husband in school/small children scenario that looks so enviable at BYU (yeah, I was that brainwashed) - turns out I was miserable. But I blamed myself because I had done everything they told me to do and didn't get the happily ever after they promised.

It wasn't til I realized the church could never deliver on their promise, that I was open to the idea that it could be the church that was defective, not me. Funny how that old saying is true - when the student is ready, the teacher will arrive.

Here's another thing to think about. Look how people treated you when you left and you'll get a good idea of who doesn't take the church all that seriously - who is at some level of disbelief. Those are the ones that are nice to you. The more seriously a Mormon takes the Mormon church, the more it's their definition of who they are, the bigger problem they will have with you rejecting Mormonism. Those who don't care, just attend for family reasons, don't take it seriously - they'll still be your friends. The exception to this rule is Mormons who come from non-LDS backgrounds. Many seem to be able to believe and still be OK with others not believing. Other than that, it's a pretty good indicator.