1/ "without a shadow of a doubt" -god that got on my nerves so many times.

2/ "pray about it" - they are basically saying, we don't know what the hell is going on either (shrug) and actually, we don't care.

3/ "feel the spirit" - it always sounded to me like something from the occult.

4/ "our heavenly father loves you" - right. tell that to the people in war zones or surviving natural catastrophes.

"They think they're happy but they're not."

"Heavenly Father called him on a mission to the spirit world."

Oh you hit a nerve with that one. I've heard it so much since I resigned, "you just THINK you're happy."

Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Like that's a bad thing? When I was in TSCC I "thought" I was miserable. Maybe I really wasn't. Maybe white is black and black is white. But I was taught to go by feelings. I'd rather FEEL happy, thank you.

So anyone has the right to say, "You just think your happy but you're not". However, if you reply with "You just think the church is true but it's not" isn't even debatable.

Mormonism is a one-sided thought process at best.

"Please bless that we’ll return home in safety"

"Tender mercies"

"Oh my heck"

You're correct with "tender mercies". Raises my blood pressure - what does it mean?!!

You will never succeed without the gospel

Everything you do is recorded and will be shown to everyone

An non-Mormon marriage is a divorce in progress

Joseph Smith gave his life, and now you're critical?

If you hate the meetings, it's because you're bad

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank thee for this food, we thank thee for today, please bless that we'll get home safely, the end. Oh I mean, ina name-a Jezuz Christamen

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 11:33AM by Twinker.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 11:34AM by Twinker.

My seminary teacher used to say, "You're toast without the Holy Ghost!"

*rolls eyes*

"Sufficient for our needs"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 04:34AM by mormonista.

I KNOW this church is true. I KNOW that JS was a prophet. I KNOW that TSM is our prophet today.

"with every fiber of my being"

It just sounds stupid. Who else ever refers to their bodies as fibers?

Although, now having read much of the rest of the list, asking to be brought home in safety is going to grate on me just as much, and is far more frequently used. Arrrrgh!

Bless those that are not here this time that they may be able to attend next time


We thank the for the moisture we have recieved

nomormoe Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bless those that are not here this time that they
> may be able to attend next time
8x

Translation: If I have to be here, everyone else better flippin' show up!!

- All the injustices that women suffer in this world will be made up to them in the CK.

- You have to forgive otherwise the greater sin will be on your head. (Disgusting spin on the old 'blame-the-victim'routine)

- Bless this food that it will nourish and strengthen us (go donuts!)

--"Don't let Satan get you."

--"Keep the commandments, and you'll be fine."

--"Net blessings or gross blessings?"

"Beautify and replenish the Earth."

Couple without the financial resources or mental fortitude to do so then proceeds to pop out 4+ kids very quickly.

"I know ..."

What, You don't know crap!!

Huhh?

Last time I checked, THIS is the "fulness of times," the last dispensation, according to Morg doctrine.

Have they changed that, too?

For those who have faith, no explanation is necessary
For those without faith, no explanation is sufficient

(this one is a psychological lobotomy. Don't think.)


Ana

Why not think? Mark Twain did, and concluded: "Faith is believing what you know ain't so."

Dear brethren... First it's your money that's dear, second the bastards aren't even 27th cousins, much less brothers. And about that cistern thing....

+100

I got this one a lot.

"Special spirit." Translation: we don't really know the first thing about you, or you are kind of strange, so here's a lame 'compliment' that really means nothing.

"Avoid even the appearance of evil." Translation: don't date or hang out with people who look like they're Stan's friends, nor dress in the way that Stan would find appealing. Because dating & hanging with regular people and dressing normally are the very definition of Eeeevil.

"Eternal consequences." Translation: don't get all up in god's grill and start acting like the fallible human being you are - or else you'll pay for it for all eternity.

"Be ye therefore perfect..." Translation: If you find yourself struggling with serious OCD issues because of this, don't blame us! (Refer to 'special spirit')

Family. Isn't it about time?

God needed him more than we did. Bullshit! We needed him, but he died.

Disgusting remark. I've herad it too many times. It's designed to rob people of the opportunity to grieve properly for a loved one.

Oh yes! I hated that one. What bullsh#t! Midnight by which time zone?

Or "nothing good happens after midnight."

Or, "God needed him to be a missionary on the other side." Said about my dead BIL, 37 years old with three kids. What, couldn't God find a few octogenarians to populate the spirit prison missionary fleet?

Indeed... utter crap!

The improper use of Elizabethan English - Just say "you" for goodness' sake!

"I know our bishop is a good man, and that he loves us"

"friend"
as in Hello/hi "friend"
They say it like it is your name.....As I am sitting there looking at the person like "my name is freckles....not friend."

I hated being called 'sister' whatever. I never called people sister and brother.

They called me "Sister Dorothy" on my get out of the cult letter! I ain't their effn sister.

Oh, yeah. I was out and they still called me sister. Yuck!

"Morally clean" As in "Are you morally clean? What the heck does that mean anyway? I can be moral and I can be clean but I never really got morally clean.

"...I know this is his church, EVEN Jesus Christ."



"I never said it would easy, I only said it would be worth it"


"sweet spirit"

"My eternal companion"

"the veil is very thin in the temple"

Probitas Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "I never said it would easy, I only said it would
> be worth it"


Oh! That one is truly awful! Especially since Jesus never said, "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it"! Putting words into God's mouth. I always hated that one.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 11:52AM by Mr. Neutron.

I love using it on TBMs and asking them where it is cited...they usually say somewhere in Corinthians

"No empty seats at the table."

Talk about using manipulation to keep your family in the church - don't YOU be the weak link.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 10:57AM by CA girl.

Remember who you are,

That one might be the absolute worst. My Mom used to try that one back in the day. My response in my mind would be "I know who I am, I am a kid that's about to go out and drink too much. Hopefully avoid the police".

Even out of a Mormon context, the words still make me cringe.

Tithing is "fire insurance." (From a church that claims not to even believe in Hell.)

You know you'r not,,,
Then they start telling you all the the things you are not,,all negitive,,

"Return With Honor" (in other words, what "Our" definition of what Honor means.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 12:19PM by heretic.

Some of these are disgusting.

I love/Hate:

It will ALL work out in the end...(this one is used often as a way to explain away why the doctrine hits a wall, the church is clearly in the wrong or why the promises made to you were all lies)

The Lord will never give you a trial you can't handle...(confirmation bias at its best, because the guy who drowned isn't there to tell you how his prayers did not work)

If you _____(marry in the temple, pay a generous fast, do as you are told, pray with your family) you will never have problems. these "undoctrinal" based lies are used to manipulate behavior with the Jesus will give you a cookie if you do what I say mentality.

Commandment with a promise...(this commandment has a guarantee silly, so pay more than what you are supposed to!)

We are not part of the world...(but we sure act otherwise)

Tender Mercies. this was mention above, but I'd like to clarify the difference between regular mercies and tender mercies: tender mercies make you cry when you talk about them, because they are tender.

A deacon has more power in the tip of his pinkie than the pope...(that is not his pinkie he is powering) plus, isn't it the pope who is usually powering a deacon at the end of his pinky?

Wo, wo, wo unto...(its like santa is coming, but with really bad news)

Unto the least...(because we are better than others)

I love you, the bishop loves you, the stake president loves you...(this is the very reason we have never spoken to you)

He felt the mantle lifted when he was released...

Pioneer stock...(descendant of a lard fed, factory worker with a family tree that has odd looking branches, inbred)

Count your blessings...(confirm each bias, confirm them one by one)

Hearken...(listen, don't think)

True believers...(people who don't know the doctrine, history or teachings of the church)

Coming to a knowledge of the truth...(gaining the ability to lie to yourself)

They are prophets, seers and revelators...(they are liars, deceivers and uninspired)



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 03:05PM by kori.

kori Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tender Mercies. this was mention above, but I'd
> like to clarify the difference between regular
> mercies and tender mercies: tender mercies make
> you cry when you talk about them, because they are
> tender.

+1 and very funny!

> A deacon has more power in the tip of his pinkie
> than the pope...(that is not his pinkie he is
> powering)

+2 and hilarious!

> I love you, the bishop loves, you, the stake
> president loves you...(this is the very reason we
> have never spoken to you)

+3 and out of the ballpark!

Thank you Mr. Neutron.

I love you with every fiber of my being, and as your brother, I would do anything to help you in any way...as long as it is not moving, lending you money, calling, visiting, listening, talking...I will just give you the head bop with a fake smile at church, because we are brothers.

Kori, I'm looking for a job and boy my procrastination was rewarded with belly laughs.

History doesn't matter
We missed you at church today
My brother, Jesus
Referring to Jesus as Christ or The Savior rather than by name.

Those are grating irritants of mine at present.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2013 12:58PM by suckafoo.

Definitely the use of "sister" or "brother". Never use the words lady or gal or Mr. Mrs. or Ms......

Always refer to former Bishops as Bishop/former Patriarchs as Patriarch........

AND my most sick of sentence: "He/she went on a mission to...."

Let us go down...We will go down... all variations of going down said innocently during the temple, but turned the mind to unworthy places. Or were they unworthy places? It all leads to multiplying. Is anyone else having these dirty thoughts at the temple?

Health in the navel, marrow in the bone.....Really? My whole eternal salvation comes down to this? Shit. Is is it through all eternity or throughout all eternity. Damn. I'm gonna F it up AGAIN! OMG! Stop cussing. You are in the temple for Christ's sake!

I am unworthy. (Not from the temple, but the cliche that embodies all mormon experience.)

"I love going to the temple" "You feel a beautiful spirit there" - I never felt it, in fact I disliked going to the temple, no matter how much I told myself that I loved it. I rolled my eyes when someone would say they loved the temple.

"My heart if full"

"I don't know that, but I know the church is true" - left me confused.

"it's not important to my salvation" - hated, hated, this one. It was used a lot on me when as a new member I questioned something, anything.

"obedience is the firs law of heaven" - where did that one come from. Always made me wonder.