An LDS friend of mine has a presentation to give for school regarding teaching children charity and was looking for feedback on what people have done to teach this virtue to their kids. She made an interesting comment that "Charity by definition can not be mandated so how do you teach that to your kids?" Interesting since most LDS charity IS mandated.

I was wondering how you all teach your kids to reach out to others and right the wrongs in society. How do you teach them to discover what matters to them and motivate them to work for others? How do you get them to think about the feelings of others? The two things I told my friend was that I try to teach my kids they are helping equals and friends, not to think of themselves of superior beings trying to "save" those in need. Also, that I try to notice when they do things for others without being asked and comment on how that was a good decision they made on their own. Finally, I read somewhere that you should point out how good it made the person feel that they helped. The person who wrote the article said it taught children to get their reward from making others feel good. Any other ideas about how to teach your children to think of others and lift those in need?

In traditional societies it is imperative that children learn to share and be concerned with the welfare of others. Selfishness is not tolerated.

They teach toddlers this way:

When a bunch of bananas is to be given to the children, instead of passing each child one banana and having them fight over who gets the biggest one, they ask each child to cut their banana in half and pass one half to the left and eat the other half.

They teach this as a microcosm of nature providing to the tribe. "We are given to in order to give to others."


Anagrammy

I'm not sure it can be taught, I think it's something you're born with.

I was scolded and spanked for being charitable when I was about 6.

A kid was going house to house mowing lawns. He had run out of gas so I went into the garage and brought out my dad's gas can.

OMG, youda thunk I had given away every last penny in my parent's bank account the way they reacted.

I'm still unsure if I did right or wrong that day. To this day, I still donate things for other people to use and buy stuff for my church's food pantry.

I'm the same way. If anything, my TBM parents taught me to be more selfish. They were paranoid about being "robbed" or taken advantage of by non members. And any extra money went to tithing or the church. Giving to the humane society, red cross or anything similar was looked down upon and I was told not to waste my money.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2013 01:18PM by Tupperwhere.

I believe that we are naturally selfish, and that socialization is built out of a selfish desire for acceptance. Charity, what we were taught in the church as the pure love of Christ, really boils down to being nice to other people. I believe that if and when we are exposed to the natural empathy in others, we develop it in ourselves as one more way of being social with other social animals, primarily other humans.

I don't believe in teaching charity to children. In fact, I don't believe in teaching anything to a child unless the child asks for a lesson. Then I believe in guiding the child to use as much of his or her mind as possible instead of any formal teaching.

I think that the word "selfish" has been used inappropriately. We can never be anything but selfish. When you give charitably, it is because it is the decision that in your mind will bring your thoughts the greatest peace about the problem you perceive. It is because your selfish desire for acceptance and socialization recognizes the need of another social creature.

Instead of teaching, I think adults should lead by example. Children pick up on everything the adults around them do, because they are hardwired to figure out how to survive with greater autonomy. Therefore, would-be teachers of children should start (and end) by continually teaching themselves.

Beautiful words; leading by example and finding charity from within.