I just read through about 8 stories of members who left the church. I was in tears reading some of these! I am happy, however, that these members were able to find peace in their decisions to leave.

I also started to feel like an @$$ too. I started to think back to all of the TBMs I knew in Utah, and how I may have judged them (internally) a little too harshly. I began to think back to the kids I knew in high school and college. I wondered to myself, how many of them were dealing with the same anxieties and depression as most of you were? How many of these good-hearted people, did I blow off and ignore because I thought them to be too cookie-cutter for my taste? Who could I have helped? I know I would not have been able to help much, being nevermo myself, but I could have lent an ear, or been a shoulder to cry on if they ever felt comfortable enough to tell me their feelings.

I am in my late 20's now, and a little more wiser than when I lived in Utah. I became defensive when judged by these TBM's, who did not understand there was life and culture outside of Utah. But I also try not to beat myself up too much, because I know many of these people would have never trusted me enough to open up with their anxieties, because I did not understand, or was part of their culture.

There are moments with my experiences in Utah that I think about that piss me off. I will get to my story one day, once work and school settle down a bit lol! Although I have never been in the situation of leaving the church, my heart truly breaks for those of you who had to struggle through difficult times. I am glad you have found peace now, and know you have made the right decision, whatever it is. I commend those who do not believe anymore, but continue attending for the happiness of your families. That is a strong sacrifice to make, and you are a great person for being able to suffer through the hardships, yet please your family as well.

I apologize for the length and rambling. I am truly touched by many of your stories, and I hope you are successful on your path to peace and happiness!

I sure was a douche as a TBM.

And now I'm a totally different kind of douche.

Because life learns us real good like.

Much of what's learned on this board is empathy.

Empathy is something I have learned over the years, and it took me a long time. I think what really upsets me the most of reading these stories is the fact that although Mormon culture portrays themselves to be trusting, in reality, they can't trust each other without fear! From an outsiders perspective, everyone in the "cult" seems to know and trust each other, not letting others in on their secrets, but in reality, it's a harsh, judgmental culture!

I think it's admirable that you can admit you were a douche. Not many people can admit their faults.

+1000

Beautifully said, RJ. I, too, was a douche much of the time. Still am in other ways, no doubt.