Everyone knows why I left. They simply can't handle the truth so they propose "possibilities" to ease their troubled minds.
"Human beings never welcome the news that something they have long cherished is untrue. They almost always reply to that news by reviling its promulgator." -- H. L. Mencken
about 2 years after I left, I met the bishop's wife, when I was with another woman (after breaking up with my wife) - we exchanged a brief 'hello'. No doubt, I am marked down, somewhere, as some sort of debauched sex maniac.
They think I left to drink beer, and chase skirts,...They were correct(this was back in 1986, when I was 18)! They still think that is the only reason,...they are WRONG!
My family *knows* that it is my wife who led me out. She is the one who wanted to drink alcohol, she's the one with parents who never went on missions, she's the one who wanted to be liberated and work outside the home, she's the one who placed an emphasis on education instead of motherly duties, she's the one who watches "The Bachelor", she's the one who thinks BYU graduates are stuck up losers, etc. It's my wife's fault.
It is I who discovered church history. It is I who questioned. It is I who put his marriage on the line and told my wife what I found. It is I who helped educate my wife and children. It is my fault.
But my PB says that I will be a leader in the church someday so it must be my wife's fault.
thedrive Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > My family *knows* that it is my wife who led me > out. She is the one who wanted to drink alcohol, > she's the one with parents who never went on > missions, she's the one who wanted to be liberated > and work outside the home, she's the one who > placed an emphasis on education instead of > motherly duties, she's the one who watches "The > Bachelor", she's the one who thinks BYU graduates > are stuck up losers, etc. It's my wife's fault.
To the Church these are things that are difficult for people to accept/understand but which aren't important so people should just get over them as they aren't essential for our Eternal Salvation.
To the Member these are significant discrepancies between what you are told to believe as a member and reality, that dispel the testimonies of rational people.
I don't think they really have an opinion. Laziness probably. Now they think it is a "habit." My daughter thinks I stay out so I can have my relationship--if it just weren't for HIM, I'd go back.
My parents and aunt--those who counted--knew why.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2011 10:34AM by cl2.
The rumour last year was that we got offended and were taking a break.
Those who we've talked to about our reasons know very well why we don't go to their church anymore, but what they tell other people is anybody's guess.
I have been told that I probably was ex'd,,and won't admit it. I have been told several reasons ,,all by people that don't know me or anything about me. Funny they never ask me,,they just tell me.
They think I wanted to chase wild women and smoke dope. While that may have been true when I was 19 I'm 55 now and that has nothing to do with why I don't want to return to "the church."
I guess they don't realize that even unrepentant sinners like myself eventually grow up.
Nobody has said anything to me. I can guess though! :-) It might be fun to be a fly on the wall.
But, I have no control over other people's thinking. Even if someone told me why they thought I left the LDS Church and it was not correct, and I corrected them, it most likely wouldn't change their mind.
Ditto SusieQ#1. With dh still tbm and going to church every week,I tend to believe they think I am a nasty woman having an affair. It really bothers me that no one has ever asked,but I'm getting over that.
3. I must be smoking, cheating or drinking on the sly
None of those are the reason I left the church. I was in grade school when I realized I didn't like being mormon. They reason I left was because of the church teachings, unispired bishops, and bullying tactics. My only regret is that I didn't leave earlier.
I don't know for sure what they say about me in Ward Gossip Leadership meetings, but the Bishop at one point mentioned to me that he felt that my wife quit going to church because she didn't have any friends in the ward.
That is partly true, she doesn't have very many friends in the ward (maybe 2-3 real friends) but that is not why she quit going. She quit going because she hated it. It didn't work for her. It made her feel like crap. She didn't believe in the modern church at all.
At first they thought I left because I was offended. I told one of my friends that was one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. It is almost impossible to offend me. And I asked: "Who offended me?" No answer.
The bishop asked me once why I quit going to PH and I told him that I couldn't sit through lessons that I knew were built on lies. I gave him the example of the Kirtland bank fraud lesson/Thomas Marsh milk strippings baloney, etc. He had no response. I just told him that I had sat through so many lessons over the years that I knew were false that I kind of hit a saturation point and I couldn't force myself to listen to such nonsense anymore.
I doubt if they are aware that I left because it is a fraud. I studied myself out.
(Nothing torments me more than how UNtrue number 2 is... my lifetime of repression at their hands has made it next to impossible to establish the kind of relationship I want with a guy.)
Because my tbm ex ruined the church for me by being so tbm.
There's some truth behind that, but it is secondary.
Only a couple of family members were able to stand talking to me about it enough to even hear my real reasons. Whether they believe it or not is another thing. One told me that they figure I want to rebel and sin (using a different term).
Ok, this one gave me a good chuckle. :-)That's just too weird. I know plenty of LDS folks who drink diet coke or other colas, etc. Some people are just very, very "orthodox" in how they live certain teachings -- most of which are a pick and choose variety. Don't drink coke, but are dirty mouths-- swear and cuss, abd drink Near Beer, for instance.
They for sure know it was about Prop H8, but they probably don't know I figured out that the emperor has no clothes and that there's a man behind the screen. And I'm not discussing it with them either, as their few failed attempts to engage me and 'bring me back' have proven.
I was supposed to be sooo offended by a decision by the bishop to allow a peadophile to run free in the church,even after many warnings from folk who knew this guy was up to no good,never mind follow the profit,it was follow the bishop,then someone said it was because my family were given a small financial assistance from the ward and were told to spend it correctly,this was me offended again,I was treated like a second class member as none of my family were in church,had 4 callings + VT,Well I was sooooo offended that I decided to find out if it was all true this TSCC,so glad I was offended,it brought me to the truth.