My wife bought up the point a couple of days ago about how the church still holds an exmo man in higher regards than an exmo woman.
Her case was that my best friend (TBM) still checks us off every month for being home taught. NO, the teaching part doesn't happen ever, but we do see each other several times a month through golf or lunch. My wife wondered how or if her name was ever brought up in the meetings.(I know mine has because he tells me everything that is said). The woman just seems to be cast off.
Are there any couples that left together and have seen this same pattern?

So there's a possibility your situation is more about that than some kind of LDS institutional attitude. Of course, there's the belief that priesthood holders are the grand poobahs of the family, so if they can get the guy back the wife and kids will follow.

My VT was one of my old friends from the ward and I "allowed" ONLY HER to visit me--not 2-some. After she passed away, I was bombarded. I also had HT assigned and reassigned and reassigned and I had to keep telling them no. After all--I was a single mother. I didn't have priesthood in the home.

BUT interesting how everyone still loves my ex (he lives here)--they kind of "fawn" over him.