There was this mid-afternoon supper among American friends
(and one Canadian, who was made an honorary yank for the day).
We ate the closest thing to a turkey that anybody could find
locally. Someone actually brought over a can of cranberries
from the States. Yam pie with nutmeg and cinnamon tasted a
lot like the pumpkin filling "back home."

If any prayers were said, they must have been private, silent
ones. But we were happy and felt fortunate to have that special
companionship and sharing.

A few glasses of Thai beer later, we shot off firecrackers and
tried to sing a verse of the Star Spangled Banner... badly.

Sticks in my memory, that sort of thankfulness.

UD

No usually...but then again I was the only Mormon at the table for years. My wife and family are nevermo's.

Ron Burr

I haven't been to a 'traditional' thanksgiving dinner in years. I hate turkey and my wife isn't American, so we always make it a point to eat something ethnic. Last year was Italian.

We will give into pumpkin pie though....mmmm

notsurewhattothink Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I haven't been to a 'traditional' thanksgiving
> dinner in years. I hate turkey and my wife isn't
> American, so we always make it a point to eat
> something ethnic. Last year was Italian.
>
> We will give into pumpkin pie though....mmmm


My wife cooked it this year -- eggplant and chickpea curry,
with black lentil soup, basmati rice, yoghurt and sweets.

Unfortunately there was nobody who wanted to share it,
so the leftovers went into the fridge and the unused
stuff went to the local food bank.

Maybe next year we'll have better luck enticing the neighbors
over with chicken enchiladas, refried beans and tequila.

UD

Our family had massive thanksgiving dinners. We would witness non-members and everything. We were allowed to drink Tab.

Not at all. Every time I've been out of the country I have made a point to cooking a bunch of turkey and trying to make stuffing from scratch (which is much more difficult in a foreign country).

This last Thanksgiving I did all of the cooking for my family. I love the holiday.

I've been making Thanksgiving dinners for my wife and son for years. I used traditional ingredients until last year. My son prepared homemade cranberry sauce and a green bean casserole from scratch with no Campbell's soup in it. I prepped a rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes. The meal was lighter and mostly vegetarian. It reflected dietary changes that we've made.

PS...there was pumpkin pie.

My mom was known to feed 20 if all her Catholic family showed up...

Ron Burr

No, but I should. Last year someone made the mistake of asking a tbm family member to say grace over the food. Most everyone in attendance was either nevermo or exmo, so of course this person used the opportunity to bear testimony in the form of a prayer. It was like "dear heavenly father. We thank thee for sending us the light and truth of the gospel so that we all know what we must do to return to thee someday..." Blah blah blah. Damn near forgot to bless the food.

Awkward!

I love thanksgiving, but can't digest turkey! :)

I love thanksgiving for apple pie and vanilla with whipped cream. Oh, and I love my family!

The best thing about Thanksgiving is pumpkin pie for breakfast on Friday morning!

The only time I didn't have a Thanksgiving dinner was when I was out of the country at Thanksgiving. It's happened twice. I didn't feel bad about not having Thanksgiving turkey, as one time I was in Dublin and the other I was in Scotland. I'm hoping this year to be in Belfast for Thanksgiving and having a good time. Will wait and see.

As far as the Thanksgiving meals here, I'm the one who buys the turkey. Last year's was bought farm-fresh and was EXPENSIVE! This year, I'll get an organic one from Trader Joe's (plus my extra kosher breasts since I like those).

The American (and probably the Canadian) Thanksgiving are supposed to be about gratitude and having fun with the family. The LDS Thanksgiving appears to be an extension of the three-hour Sunday block of meetings, a solemn prayer meeting, eating food while wearing your best clothes and being all solemn and talking about how Christ and His Holy Temple have blessed you. Good riddance to Mormon Thanksgivings. (Last Thanksgiving I bought a bottle of red wine for my twin sons, who refused to drink it in front of their TBM mom, but that's okay.)

That's a good tip. I don't miss Thanksgiving dinners here, but I do miss pumpkin pie. Thanks for the idea.

Also miss mince pie. Any ideas for that?

I avoid all family holidays including Thanksgiving, Christmas and whatever else.

I live 1000 miles away. In order to participate in Thanksgiving, I would have to:
• Take at least a week of vacation days to allow for travel time.
• Spend anywhere from $400-600 for a flight, plus $20 a day for parking my car at the airport, plus $35 a day for boarding my two pets at the kennel. Because hitching rides with family members can be a PITA, I also rent a car. There's another $250-300. The average 4-day weekend trip home will cost me somewhere around $1,000.
• When I get there, pretty much every family member ignores me. I am the only one who is college educated, single and has no children. They don't understand me, cannot relate to me, are not interested in learning anything about me, and seem to think I'm some sort of stuck up asshole.
• Also, my stepmonster and my mom are terrible cooks, yet neither one will allow anyone to help them in the kitchen. The food is usually horrible regardless of which family I choose to hang with.

So after burning a week's worth of vacation, spending about $1000, eating crap food, and being treated like complete crap by 95% of my family members, I started asking myself: Why am I doing this? Is this for THEM? Because if it is, I'm wasting my time. Nobody seems especially pleased nor disappointed if I'm there or not. No one wants to sit down and talk to me and find out what's up with my life. I never hear from any of them the rest of the year: no birthday cards, no Christmas cards, no emails, no FB friends, no texting, no calls. So it's clear to me that my presence at family events is not important to anyone. Why should I bother? It's not worth all the sacrifices I have to make in order to travel up there just to be ignored and fed poorly. I quit going years ago and just enjoy myself at home alone with the critters. So generally, I cook something ethnic, although this is Florida and cheap seafood is plentiful, so sometimes I do a seafood feast. I've also been known to just chuck a cardboard frozen pizza in the oven, order out, or go out to a restaurant (which I did for both holidays this year).

I had similar experience in my 20s...I would fly or drive home and a few days later wonder why I went to so much trouble?

I like the idea of doing your own thing, just start inviting friends and make that your tradition.

I finally realized a few years ago that there's no point to getting together for Thanksgiving with TBMs. They are into it to allow themselves an opportunity to listen to MoTab and act like it's a church service. Bo-ring!

I would much rather do something with my immediate exmo family, something fun. Have a good meal, drink some wine, go play football or see a football game, go for a drive in the mountains, see a movie or go out for brunch and have a latte or two. etc etc. Most of which can't be done with TBMs without it being spoiled by them.

I avoid Thanksgiving dinners with certain family members. Otherwise I have my own and it gets bigger every year. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because there's no pressure to buy presents - it's just good food, good drink, and good friends + family members who behave.

I've missed several Thanksgivings with my family, as I've lived in various parts of the country. I wouldn't ever avoid it with my immediate family, but extended family... absolutely.

Two years ago I went to an aunt's house. Her MIL would not shut up about the fucking church. In every little story she told, she would give a brief history of the callings each character had held. Church church church church church church church. Then she asked me about my roommate, and when I responded with the pronoun "he" she flipped right the hell out. She was absolutely disgusted that I lived with a male (even though it's totally platonic). She made a big effin deal about it. Much drama ensued. I wasn't invited back the next year.

Last year, I went to the weirdest Thanksgiving ever. The sister of a friend of a friend decided she wanted to host a Thanksgiving dinner for stragglers, and I got pulled into it. There were about a dozen of us - I only knew one other person, and nobody knew everybody else. It was in a very swanky neighborhood in LA. The hostess was wearing an eyepatch and high as a kite on vicodin. A six year old kept giving me glass after glass of wine and asked to paint my portrait. I sat between one member of a gay sailor couple and a youth pastor. So very very bizarre.

lol, judyblue; I have the perfect film for you. Please send for and watch the incomparable Bette Davis as the unbearable autocrat--complete with eyepatch--in "The Anniversary". From about 1968 and one of her best, IMHO.

I am a bit surprised (pleasantly surprised, actually) that
few posters here have said that they shun Thanksgiving dinners,
because they have no reason to thank anybody.

The subject came up in my long-distance conversations with a
fellow who has been "in the process" of leaving Mormonism for
a decade, but lingers on due to important family ties.

He remains on the LDS rolls but avoids meetings or gatherings
where prayers or religious talk might be encountered.

As he told me last year in November: "Why should I be thankful
to some phony God that doesn't even exist!"

I sort of understand the sentiment -- but I can be equally
thankful to my spouse, friends, and the cosmos in general
for another year of life in this amazing world. I try to
think of celebratory "holy-days" in that frame of mind.

UD

Every holiday can be what a person makes of it. Thanksgiving is not a Mormon holiday by any stretch of the imagination.

Thanksgiving for me is a day I get to cook while drinking. I first cook for my family (non-lds) and then my friends (ie, chosen family) come over and eat the leftovers. Why would anyone ever want to avoid that? :)

snb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Every holiday can be what a person makes of it.
> Thanksgiving is not a Mormon holiday by any
> stretch of the imagination.
>
> Thanksgiving for me is a day I get to cook while
> drinking. I first cook for my family (non-lds)
> and then my friends (ie, chosen family) come over
> and eat the leftovers. Why would anyone ever want
> to avoid that? :)

I think that for my LDS friend (I'll call him "Bob") that
Thanksgiving IS a Mormon holiday. He grew up in Rexburg, Idaho
and barely encountered a Gentile until he went on his mission.
And that was to an Asian country without such a holiday.

Bob's only notion of Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter,
birthdays, etc. is in the context of his extended LDS family;
or perhaps some party hosted by one of his Mormon co-workers.
I would like to think that he has had enough exposure to
life outside of the Mormon Corridor, to know something about
Pilgrims, Indians, New England feasts, etc. But that reality
appears to be diminished in the shadows of a Ricks College....
er, BYU Idaho, environment.

UD

Well, yeah, context is everything. Hopefully he can soon find his own way. Life can be a blast when one leaves Mormonism.