It's one way that shows me the person still believes. I still have hope that they don't believe and then I find out about the baby blessing. It doesn't make sense to me why they'd get the baby blessed just to never attend church again for years.

I never understood that either back when I was TBM. I mean, you don't darken the doorway of the chapel for 6 years, never come to any ward social functions, and disregard the "standards." Then one day you show up with a new baby in tow and some extended family. Meanwhile, the whole time the ward is wondering who these people are.

Personally I would feel a little silly if I had been Jackmo or just really inactive for years suddenly showing up like that.

It makes me wonder if it's the pressure from extended family/grandparents to have it done.

Exactly...very strange behavior in my opinion. Totally agree. There was a guy in my last ward that never came, never participated, never anything - but I'll be damned if he didn't pay a full tithing year after year to the tune of 10K per year AND he would come to tithing settlement. Except for that meeting, would never see him.

Newspaperman Benjamin DeCasseres once wrote, "Each generation is, unknown to itself, working out the destruction of the next generation."

I baptised my daughter when she turned 8 when I was marginally active and didn't believe. You see baptisms were kind of a nice family activity that her other siblings had gone through. You go out with the family, have a nice lunch, she's the center of attention - kind of like a birthday party. Anyway, I didn't want to deprive her of that moment, so I baptised her in the church. The next week we were never seen again. My daughter would never set foot in a mormon church, goes to another local christian church and one of her good friends in LDS.

I think it's more of a cultural thing than religion, like Catholics having their children blessed and baptized but never going to church. It's just something you do, not necessarily what you believe.

My husband grew up in a country where over 90% of people identify as Catholic, but many of them only go to church a few times in their lives: baptism, wedding, funeral.

I know of several people who are more or less agnostic or atheist who have had their babies baptized just for cultural reasons or just to "be on the safe side."

My sister in law in Boston is about to do this very same thing. She is getting married on June 8, to the man she has lived with for 3 years. She is also pregnant and having the baby induced two weeks prior to the wedding. Since the family will all be there from all over the U.S., she is having the baby blessed the next day after her wedding! I am not sure why she is doing it, really. Last year at this time, her oldest child turned 8 and she had her baptized. I think it is probably about keeping the grandparents appeased. Of course, since my mother in law, her mom, has no clue I am an apostate, I will have to attend the blessing and "pretend", too! It's only for one day and then I can come back home to VA and continue to be a heathen! LOL!

OH ya.. that's how "Jack Mormons" live Mormonism. They generally don't live the WofW or pay tithing, or attend very often, but they do the basics like blessings and baptism and LDS funerals. It's just how they roll! Hedging their bets.

I have also noticed this with getting married in the temple. They are inactive, they get engaged, they start living a worthy mormon life, married in temple then back to inactive. I think some do it for image.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/05/2013 03:27PM by christian smithstian.

In a lot of churches it's pretty normal for people that hardly ever go to have their babies christened, so looking at it from that perspective, it's not so strange. Although obviously in the world of mormonism it's strange.

I think most jack mormons don't truly believe, or else they wouldn't be doing the things they do. I think with a lot of jack mormons they might see mormonism as more of a culture (because they grew up in the church), but as an actual religion they might not take it so seriously. Some of them might see the baby blessing as more of a cultural thing.

Also, there's some people, when they've brought a new life into the world, they give a bit more thought into religion. Some less active mormons might decide they should go to church more regularly when they've just had a kid. Although usually in those cases I'd imagine they go back to inactivity after not long.

I know a lot of people on here seem to hate the "jack mormon" type, but I personally have more respect for those types of people than a TBM, in the sense that they're comfortable enough to do the things they want. I was definitely more of a TBM type, following the commandments, it seemed like most things I did in life were to please other people.

I agree that it is all mostly for family reasons.

Now that I have left the church, I think I will teach my children to throw a damily reunion party anyways to celebrate the birth of the child. Since I don't believe in any real value of baby blessings (God is largely absent), why not just throw a party for the fun of it, huh?

Same goes for special 8th Birthday parties.

I married a nevermo. My father offered to bless my children; I declined. I think that upset my TBM family more than me becoming "inactive".

As a former ward clerk, I know that many babies were blessed by semi active grandfathers, with the parents sitting in the audience, who have not been to church in at least a decade. Family pressure, culture, etc. Kid is on the rolls until he turns 9 and if not baptized, drops. Those that are over 8 and not yet 9 were prime targets for the missionaries.

You see the same thing in protestant churches.

Families bring their babies in for baptism - there would be about 10-20 family members (some kinda rough looking) with that funny "this isn't our usual hangout" look. The baby gets sprinkled in a frilly getup and you never see them in church again.

They look so uncomfortable! They don't know where anything is! Some family members walk out of church the minute the baptism is over!

That one's easy . It's so the Bishop wouldn't try to give you some rotten job in the ward with people you can't gut being around .

We resigned about 10 months ago and had a baby 5 months ago. Our families knew full well that we had resigned and now attend a different church, but several family members still said, "but you're still having her blessed in our church, right?" WTF?

Na, it's not funny really. It is just a taste of what's ahead. It is offensive and small-minded and disrespectful. It's all part of them being right and everyone else wrong.

Frankly, I have little respect for anyone who goes along with this.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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I'm guilty of doing that. It made the grandparents happy to do it in their ward and show off.

Me, too. Since it was such a ***big*** deal for my parents, I let them bless my baby in their ward and show him off a little. I thought I would just grit my teeth and get through it. My dad wasn't one to give those canned blessings anyway where they sound like they're reading a script out of some church manual ("you were a valiant spirit in the preexistence, you will get baptized, you will go on a mission, you will marry in the temple, you will remain worthy and obedient to your leaders..."), but he was extra careful to be respectful of me in the words he chose. It was the best, most heartfelt blessing I have ever heard in my life.....everything was about my child and his parents being able to find happiness and knowing how much he/we were loved along with expressions of gratitude for us (the baby's parents, the baby, and sibling) being in Mom and Dad's life. Nothing preachy or churchy in it....nothing suggesting voodoo pronouncements that this baby would lead his whole family back to "the truth." And the proud smile on Dad's face when he held his gorgeous grandson up for the congregation to see melted my heart (Dad was never comfortable in the limelight and wasn't one who normally said much or showed much expression in public so this was even more delightful to watch).

Now that Dad's gone, it actually is one of the sweet memories of him that makes me remember what a fantastic grandpa he was to my kids and how loved and special he made my kids feel, just like their cousins from TBM families (and sometimes I secretly felt he had even a little bit stronger kinship with my kids than some of the other grandkids who weren't quite as interested in building ties with Grandpa as my kids always were). Both now and back then, I have/had complete disbelief in LDS teachings, but I'm basically glad I let Dad bless my baby. It made him and Mom happy.....and the surprising thing is that what started as me trying to placate my parents ended up as a sweet memory, and memories are all I have left of Dad now. ((((((Love you, Dad!!))))))))

I'm sure this would not work out so well with TBM parents who are not as respectful of their adult children and grandchildren being their own people, but I am lucky in that my parents are wonderful that way despite being very TBM.

Jack-Mormons can be some of the most hard-headed Mormons around.

This will probably be my situation, as I'm currently expecting. My husband is a total Jack Mo, but TBM enough to still want to do the blessing (I think mostly to please his hardcore LDS parents). I'm kind of hoping he'll see the light before the baby comes. I've casually been researching other kinds of baby dedications. It would be cool to have people we actually care about participate in a ceremony that isn't just for "worthy" LDS men.

We're having our second (in fact we're in the delivery room right now fully complete and laboring down). Our families really want the baby blessed even though they know full well now that we don't believe and don't participate in any way.

We are considering doing it, simply to keep the peace.

Why do they even care? It's just a fortune-telling event where you guess the baby will do mormon things like going on a mission and getting married too young in a goofy outfit. If it really mattered (according to their doctrine, we already know none of their blessings really matter) then converts would be at a disadvantage ...

An exmo (now Catholic) just posted a photo on her FB page of her brother who is leaving on a mission saying how handsome he looks and wishing him luck. Wishing him luck? Luck in what? Perhaps she was just being kind and/or facetious, but as someone who has endured a lot of hurt since leaving and feels like the black sheep of her family and knows all of Mormonisms dirty little secrets (or many of them anyway), it sure seems odd to have her wish a missionary "good luck".