I found out by accident that my whole family has been organizing behind my back to ambush me this weekend. (One of them ineptly copied me on a message thread so I got to read all about it). There is nothing quite like hearing how your entire family thinks you are so "confused and misguided" and that if they just apply enough pressure and testimony you will come back to the fold... how the people that supposedly love you actually think you are following Satan.

They discussed not only love-bombing me and "inspiring" me with Conference talks but also how to smother me with faith-and-testimony speeches in ways that would avoid any actual debate and talking about how "even the very elect will be deceived".

When my husband got home from watching the main sessions, I told him to pass a message on to everyone: That if they continue to disrespect me and my freedom of choice, I will officially resign. He was absolutely stunned speechless and walked back out without discussion. I don't know what's going to happen but I am so very tired of this.

Wow. I can't imagine what it must be like being in that situation. You have my sympathy and support.

That would be annoying.

Perhaps it's time to testify to them of the awesome noodliness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Maybe you could love bomb them with some lasagna?

As you should be. The way they're treating you is absolutely rediculous!

But remember, it's not a cult. Ugh!

That is truly insane and out of bounds. Glad the family member slipped and at least you can be prepared.

I am so sorry.

It's too bad your family can't respect boundaries.

I think I'd have been tempted to message back the entire lot of them and say "Did it ever occur to you that one of the reasons I don't want to be Mormon is that I don't want to become like any of you? Who TREATS people like this? The judging, sneaking, manipulations - none of it has anything to do with Christ. You've completely turned away from him despite dressing up and pretending to follow him. I feel so, so sorry for each of you - examples of "those who think they are standing will fall."

If they try to say that they are sorry you are offended, reply that you are sorry such behavior - their behavior - doesn't offend them. If they say it's because you are angry at the church, say "how DARE you blame the church for your bad behavior." Of course, now you can see why people don't talk to me about why I left - because when pushed I can be all kinds of mouthy and twist their behavior around til they bite themselves in their own behinds. :)

It's a reverse intervention.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intervention_(counseling)

So sorry ACgirl. That is aweful. But glad you got wind of it. And I like the stand you took. Be strong.

Maybe you need to ignore them, completely.

No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no visits ..nuttin -- for several months -- maybe six months!

This is what I call: putting people in Time Out!

They need to know they lose contact when they get intrusive!!

Doubtful you can change them, they have to realize they are out of order first before they behave in a respectful manner. Might take a long time.

All they need to know is that you expect them to live the 11th Article of Faith:
We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.

You can worship petunias for all I care! :-)

That won't work, since my TBM spouse invites them over regularly and takes the kids to their places regularly (I'm talking several times a month!!) They all live in the general area and some are even in the same ward as my kids and husband.

AngelCowgirl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That won't work, since my TBM spouse invites them
> over regularly and takes the kids to their places
> regularly (I'm talking several times a month!!)
> They all live in the general area and some are
> even in the same ward as my kids and husband.


Oh gosh... well, I hope your method works!!

I like that....put those who know no boundaries and interfere in your life into "time out"....they can come out when they are good.

Good for you!! I had this same short 15 second conversation with my wife this week. It was directed towards the ward. I keep my letter in my briefcase. It's signed and ready to go. I just have to date it.

No one for sure knows where I am right now, but it will be probably be coming out within the next two weeks, at least to the bishop. My son turns 16 and the bishop told him he's going to talk to me about me ordaining him a priest.

I've had enough of the lovebombing BS. It's been relatively light and everyone seems to be kind of scared of me, leaving a wide swath around me when I actually do show up at a random function. I'm sure that will change when word hits.

Assuming the conversation does take place, and if the bishop so much as breathes a word of this to anyone, including his counselors, the letter gets processed immediately. We all know people in TSCC don't know how to keep their traps shut. We'll see how he does with this one. It will piss my wife off to no end, but it will get blamed where it belongs. On them, not me.

She's worked hard to keep this quiet and keep them out of our relationship. Even though she's TBM, she'll have little patience for their shennanigans if it causes me to resign.

I cannot believe the extemes fanatics will go to to forceably interfere with someone elses right to choose.
For doing this it is my opinion that you would be better served walking away from them without ever looking back.
May the force be with you.

I like what CA girl said. I'd be furious and would thoroughly tell them off. And as SusieQ#1 said, invoke the 11th Article of Faith on them and tell them to respect your choices if they want to continue to have a relationship with you. I'd probably also tell them that you deem their actions to be highly disrespectful of your choices and that you're not at all pleased about it. Nip it in the bud before it goes any further.

Wow, that just sucks! You are fighting a lone battle! I hope your statement makes an impact. They can't imagine for a second tat the bullshit isn't true, so all they need to do is help you feel the spirit. They are so deluded.

That is disgusting
My family on my dads side tried bs like this and I shot it down, but I can only guess what they say about me behind my back

Here's your reply when they corner you:

"Oh, my Heavens, you guys are right I need to stop lying to myself and to you. I need to face the truth! I need to be the person I really am inside. I've avoid this for so long...

...tomorrow, I'm completing the Scientology personality audit!"

Inform them that proof positive beyond any shadow of doubt has surfaced that this church is 1000% false and they need to see what it is . They won't even call you or contact you . Problem solved !

Lol...yes just the thought that they will be confronted with anything "anti" will scare them off.... uff I have a feeling I might be hearing about my own future here.

I figure that if any of my TBM friends ever pull something like this on me, I'll let them have their say, but will warn them that I will demand the same amount of time to say whatever I like too. I'll mention that they might want to reconsider, because they might not like to hear what I have to say.

According to an old episode of the A-Team I once saw, the best way to handle an ambush that you know is coming, is to ambush the ambush. Find some good material that hits the church hard. Lamanite DNA, fourteen year old wives, stuff that proves the earth is billions of years old, and hammer them with it. Hell, I am sure you could get some apostate friends to go with you.

I also like what CA Girl said. They need to be called out on their terrible behavior. All too often, I think, Mormons are not called on their behavior and therefore not only do they not get that it is wrong, but smugly and brain-twistingly think they are even more right!!

I'd let them know you feel betrayed and won't accept such bad treatment.

I think we have to draw a line where our rights are violated. There's no excuse good enough to justify what happened to you.

^this^

And, you can tell them that you think what they are doing is the opposite of "love," which is the foundation of family relationships.

Hit "reply all" and give them 11th article of faith treatment.

i hate to tell you this but there's a high probability you'll end up in divorce. sorry.

So did anything happen?

So sorry about your manipulative family. I think you handled it great. Make sure to return and report to tell us how your family took it.

I hope you post all the text you have concerning this ambush somewhere online. (I suggest you just post the quotes, delete the names and offer no interpretation or embellishment--let the Mormons embarrass themselves.)

The world needs to see how some Mormons behave.