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Posted by: Mormon Traitor ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:06PM

I couldn't believe he said it. I thought I heard him wrong. But that is what he said. He said Satan isn't interested in having children because he is impotent. His talk was certainly the most interesting. He is crazy.

Is there something in the scriptures that I missed about Satan's ED?

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Posted by: Topper ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:08PM

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Posted by: maria ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:15PM

I always understood satan to not be flesh and blood like god and Jesus. Am I wrong?

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Posted by: Zeno Lorea ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:17PM

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Posted by: george ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:21PM

Probably goes with the idea that those who don't achieve Godhood will have no genitals. It is being preached in church more often of late. The ultimate fear, castration for unworthy LDS males.

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Posted by: maria ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:23PM

An eternity as a Ken doll. Nice.

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Posted by: milamber ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 07:06PM

They aren't allowed to touch them, so basically, they are already castrated.

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Posted by: Troy ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 11:27PM

I guess if you have no genitals the concept of impotence must be something different.

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Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:24PM

Any man who obeys the cult will have unlimited sex with countless wives and children without number, and he will become a God!

Isn't that just a bit over-the-top nutzo looney-tunes?

No wonder MOrmon Priesthood-holders are so obsessed with the Hereafter!

Boyd and his Little Factory probably dream about this every night!

Mormon porn!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/04/2010 05:25PM by forestpal.

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Posted by: matt ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:29PM

What's the exact quote on this one, please?

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Posted by: Emma's Flaming Sword ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 06:05PM

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Posted by: They don't want me back ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 05:35PM

so it must be true.

He also writes for the National Enquier.

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Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 06:15PM

Dang, I'm gonna miss him when he's gone...

Of course Dallin Oaks ("It is wrong to criticize church leaders even if the criticism is true") is in contention to replace him as the Dan Quayle of the Q12...

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Posted by: SD ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 06:19PM

he has that tail that's sort of shaped like a phallus. The cool thing is that when he hums it vibrates.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 09:49PM

Satan is important so he doesn't have time to be a breeder for eternity. :-)

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Posted by: JoD3:360 ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 08:14PM

I don't have it in front of me at the moment, but I am pretty sure that in Mormon Doctorin' it says that since Satan and his followers have no bodies of their own, they are constantly trying to inhabit our bodies and then tempt us to sin, so that they can enjoy that which is denied them.

I'll try to look it up in the morning.

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Posted by: dr5 ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 08:51PM

Wow. So it's all about sex. Get to the celestial kingdom so you can have sex. Satan is miserable because he has no body and can't have sex.

I shouldn't be surprised, though, because Joseph Smith was pretty fixated on sex (as well as other men's wives).

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Posted by: Emanon (not logged in) ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 09:13PM

“The adversary is jealous toward all who have the power to beget life. Satan cannot beget life, he is impotent.“

Start at 6 minutes and 7 seconds into his talk.

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: October 04, 2010 09:25PM

Time to revise the temple ceremony again.

"Now is the great day of my power. I will posses their bodies to control their little factories."

I think this is the theological/mind control direction underlying this statement.

Don't "abuse" your little factory power. Satan is looking to control thy little factory. Which is true, Boyd [satan] wants to control your little factory, so he can control the rest of you: money, time, family relations, ambitions, admiration etc. must be centered in, on and around the cult and its leaders.

BTW: is he implying that those who "follow Satan" in this regard will also be impotent?

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Posted by: Thread Killer ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 12:57PM

Years ago (in the Ensign?) I read a little blurb where a mother was trying to describe Satan to her young son, and he said: "Oh, you mean he insides but no outsides!"
Don't remember if she told him if he was impo'tant or impotent. (referencing a REALLY old joke.)

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 02:30PM

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Posted by: rogertheshrubber ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 04:19PM

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Posted by: topojoejoe ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 02:49PM

Nothing is doctrinal anymore, it is merely a man speaking as a man or a prophet speaking as a man. The book of mormon is not even history anymore.

So why are sheeple still following these men and a fiction book? I guess there really is no meat, just milk afterall.

I had my share of milk a long time ago.

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Posted by: topojoejoe ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 02:59PM

It is the key? My little factory holds the key to happiness, coming closer to god, and pure joy? I agree!

Go little factory! Go and be free.

Oh, wait, I have to use how? making babies for eternities (if I am a woman) and sharing it with as many wifes as I can handle (if I am a man). That sucks!

I guess it sucks even worse if you don't fall in either category, then you become Ken and Barbie.

But wait, I don't believe any of this crappola, so it does not matter.

yeah! Go little factory!

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Posted by: rudolph ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 10:53PM

He is true evil, and I guess he can't get an errection, so I assume that's true about his Master, too, with whom he enjoys a first name relationship.

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Posted by: Primus ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 11:19PM

So Satan is getting ready to like do it with one of his Succubus and flips his thinger majigger out. Well it's not working.

"Quick! Get me some Viagra! One of them Mormon apostles must be changing doctrine again..."

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Posted by: jw the inquizzinator ( )
Date: October 05, 2010 11:29PM

pickle but is shooting blanks?

I don't get it.

What if he cloned himself?

OK, and the OBVIOUS question...if he has one, is it forked?

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Posted by: It's called "projection". ( )
Date: October 06, 2010 03:18PM

I hope Packer lives a loooong time; the church truly deserves a leader of his caliber. (I'm already looking forward to his next GC speech, where he will describe Satan as a bitter, angry, impotent adversary who hates to eat stewed prunes.)

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