Posted by:
saintdorothymantooth
(
)
Date: April 20, 2013 10:58PM
So some of you know I'm very new here - about 2 weeks - but have been inactive for the last 10 years or so. My leaving the TSCC had nothing to do with the evidence that many of you were faced with. It had deep-rooted issues within my family, which I won't go into here, but suffice it to say, I'm a little late to the MormonThink party, as well as other sources you have all listed.
Finding these things out now is leaving me in a bit of a whirlwind, but my mind is more than open to it seeing as I never was much of a believer before. However, one thing I didn't expect was the tears. The tears for my mom and little sisters, friends, other family, all the little kids. Particularly after reading and watching things regarding the Temple. Now every time I think of my sisters going through for the first time and how scared they probably were, I am so angry! I never went through myself, so I never thought about it until now, but its almost criminal the way the church sets you up for that $(*&%.
Anyway, my question for you guys is this: How many of you were really roped in to the faith -- as in, the kind of TBM that could hear "facts" that discredit the church, but would make every excuse for the church because you KNEW (NOT believed) but "KNEW" it was true? Were any of you the kind who got up every F&T meeting and bore your soul with serious conviction? The kind who felt the spirit and not just said you did to placate everyone around you?
I ask because now that I know what I know, all I can do is hope that maybe my family will find a way out, too, but they are the TBM I described above. We're a "Pioneer" family (Martin Handcart Company) and its a big part of my mom's faith. I don't know if its as huge for my sisters, but all of them are equally engrossed in the "gospel". 2 have served missions and one of them cried her eyes out when she got home because we were all such heathens compared to her mission companions and MP. She still wants to be there and has moved back and forth between the US and Austria for the last 6 years trying to relive it. The latter came home early and is the only one I can see possibly ever "escaping". She's the youngest and lived with me on and off for about 5 years in my NON-LDS home. I love her like she's my kid. My heart breaks for the lies she is told because she's so impressionable and her self-esteem is entirely tied to the church and "worthiness".
Please tell me there is hope for them! Please, share your story (even if its been shared, I would love to hear it!). One of them has 2 little kids (14 mos and 1 month) and I want so badly to believe that they will grow up in a different world than I did, but its not looking good :(
(As I type this, REM's "Losing My Religion" came on spotify. Coincidence? ;) )