Today one of my best TBM friends growing up posted on FB a picture of herself on her mission with a caption about how it was the best 18 months for her life- that it made her a better mother, wife, woman. Her mother commented on the picture saying:

"Since you are so awesome as a woman, wife and mother- and I'll add, daughter too! - your comments says a lot about another great reason for serving a mission!"

*sigh* this is an illogical statement. Yes, I can honestly say that this friend of mine is an awesome woman and mother (have no idea about the wife part), but to give all that credit to her 18 month mission seems ridiculous. She's done so many other amazing things with her life that have helped shape who she is.

But what really concerns me is this statement by her Mom, suggesting that girls should go serve missions in order to be awesome women, mothers and wives. It puts pressure on those girls that have already decided to serve missions to live up to an unattainable standard of perfection and leaves the girls that are on the edge about serving a mission or have no desire to go on one feeling like they are less than other girls who do serve missions.

Not to mention that going on a mission is no guarantee that you're going to be transformed into an awesome human being. There have been plenty of returned missionaries that turned out to be less than stellar.

I just hope that this type of thinking isn't being widely spread to young girls, but I have a horrible feeling that it is.

Awesome they can have all of the burdens of the penishood with none of the benefits!

I went because I convinced myself I wanted to. I knew I really didn't and kept hoping I wouldn't pass my physical or something like that. But I knew skydaddy wanted me to go and how do you argue with skydaddy? I went as soon as I possibly could cause I knew the longer I let it go the less likely I would be to go. I hated nearly every minute of it and it left me jaded about the church and I almost quit going after I got back. It did start me on the long road out I think though, which I fought for many years but finally logic prevailed.

Honestly, when my kids are old enough I won't stop them from going, but I certainly won't encourage them and they will get the straight truth from me, which they won't hear from anyone else.

What a stupid, stupid program. All these poor young women have all but lost the excuse that it's "optional" for them.

I went on a mission as a tbm convert because I really thought I was teaching the truth to people. As a convert who was not burdened with all the BIC training/brainwashing I actually believed the things taught to converts more than the brainwashing of Utah Mormons and BIC kids. I believed that the field was ripe and ready to harvest and all I really had to do was show up and teach. I believed in the things converts were taught about free agency and nobody needing to be forced to join. So for that reason I really enjoyed my mission. I didn't dunk one single person and it never bothered me because I knew that if they weren't ready they shouldn't be baptized. I knew I served an honorable mission and had a great time living on the French Riviera. Then I was visiting BYU after my mission and heard a young woman agonizing over not having baptized anyone on her mission and how she felt so guilty for not serving honorably. I was laughing inside about how OCD this young woman was. It wasn't until I found this site that I realized how harassed missionaries are. And how much guilt is placed on youth to perform to LDS, Inc. expectations. I'm sure glad I went on my mission in total ignorance. When I saw MP's and local authorities behaving badly towards other missionaries on my mission I just chalked it up to a few bad eggs. But now I see it's the norm. In my case, ignorance surely was bliss.

Are they pressuring girls to go on missions the same way they pressure the boys?

It used to be that going on a mission was a last resort for a woman. It was difficult to get the men to 'let' you go.

I can't answer for sure I haven't been for awhile but I can see a lot more pressure to go with the age drop. Even though it's not "required" of them, imagine all the talk if a girl decides not to go. Especially if she just doesn't wanna go and it's not cause she's getting married or going to school. I'm pretty sure they'll have plenty of unofficial pressure. I even knew girls on my mission that were pressured into going, that was 15 years ago.

Where I live in Utah County, there is certainly more cultural pressure for girls to go on missions since the age change. My teenage daughter says that it's been a non-stop topic in seminary and church lessons since October. She's heard lots of TBM boys say that they won't consider marrying a girl unless she's been on a mission.

"She's heard lots of
> TBM boys say that they won't consider marrying a
> girl unless she's been on a mission."

My initial reaction when I read this was "how awful!", and then I thought -wait- isn't this the awful thinking that poor lds boys have been subjected to for decades?

Doesn't make the thinking of these boys any better, but I think it highlights the awful behavior that TSCC encourages in it's youth/young adults.

I thought the same thing when I first heard that. But, it really is the same pressure young men have had for years.

I can see going on a mission to get away from home, to avoid being forced to attend college if you don't want to, or to become fluent in a language you have studied in school.

Of course, you would have to sugarcoat your reasons with a lot of TSCC-BS, but I can see it as a socially approved move if you are really desperate.Of course, the financial angle might be tough.

Mormons are bascially required to say that their missions were the best 18 or 24 months of their lives. I hated my mission but came back and said what I knew I had to say: "It was the best 2 years of my life"

Of course it might be true in her case, but she's spewing the party line regardless. And so is her mother.

Unfortunately, what you're afraid of is actually the case. Mormon young men and women are constantly being told of the expectation to serve missions, and how the missions will change their lives for the better.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2013 04:11PM by brett.

...that they don't rank as the best years of her life.

"Sorry, family, my mission was the summit of my life. Everything else has been downhill from there."