Usually I am pretty good at handling feelings and don't aloud sadness to hit me in any way. I either run, listen to music, watch funny shows or talk to friends in order to feel better, but today I want to mourn what tscc has been for me. I had some really good times while an active member. I found most programs to be very good. I hate how they run as a corporation and make so much money with the faith of people. I am sad because many dear family and relatives still belong and will belong to the church I guess.
I know I made a huge mistake years ago when I got baptized. I was warned but didn't want to listen. Now I have to pay back and no one besides this board, will listen and understand.
I know there must be some people I may affect by sharing with them what I have learned but to come up with reality is a situation and a decision that I respect and decide to let happen to others as they would like.
I know when I didn't want to learn about the "church propaganda" I didn't want to learn. Period. It was my right, it was my decision to close my eyes and ears to the past, to history and to mistakes. Once I decided to find out the truth I did. Nobody pushed me, nobody told me. I found out. To me, it is the same with others now. If anyone will look, they will find. If they don't want to, no one will force them.
I feel sad because I just have to be quiet, because no one else will understand, because I will be shunned.
Only here, I have expressed my concerns, my doubts and only here I have had the facts available to me. Or the resources to find out.
I am sad today because I am loosing part of my life and because once again, I have to find peace within, with others and make sense of all this... again.
I may be running off my sorrows and my ass later today.

Me, too. Sorry...

I only vent here, too. My Exmo kids don't talk about it because they want to forget and move on. My TBM daughter is thick with her TBM dad, so will not listen to anything I say.