between the day you researched something negative about the church and the day you developed the sick feeling in stomach and realized the whole thing was likely a sham.
I've always doubted, though not always admitted it to myself. It took me exactly 10 seconds after reading about Scientology to say they're a cult and holy crap so is Mormonism. After that I went on to read all the "forbidden" stuff I could find and stumbled upon the CES letter and that was that.
I read on mormonthink on a Monday night learning about Joseph smith and treasure hunting, how the BoM was translated. I went to bed feeling like I could except the info despite it being totally different than what's been taught. The next morning I read about the BoM problems. I felt like someone came in my house and stole my entire reason for exsistance. I was devastated. That was 15 days ago. I'm doing better. Not crying so much. Now I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to believe now.
No rush into what to believe. Take the time that you need to rid yourself of Mormonism and then start over. You are either a person who likes association with people in a church setting once a wk or you are not. YOU are either the type of person who enjoys GOOD sermons by a knowledgeable pastor or you can't stand to sit and listen to any of them. Perhaps you just like being outdoors to have your spiritual experience....in the mtns, at the beach, on a hike.
So take your time.I have never been Mormon ( daughter jumped into this madness ), but I know where I belong for an hr. each wk. It gives me peace and a quiet space to contemplate all that is going on in my life and also helps me know how and why to serve others in my community.
My first day was to see how to remove my name from the church. Bingo...a website on how to resign. I read sample resignations and was blown away with historical issues. BAM...what?..JS had his head in a hat the whole time of the BoM translation? Called a relative...oh isn't it wonderful how God does things precept upon precept...GEEZUS...I FELT LIKE SOMEONE HAD SWUNG A BASEBALL BAT AT MY GUT...
The next 90 days, 10 hours a day, MormonThink and Tom Phillips' podcast - good grief - and I KNEW this BIC member and RM of nearly 6 decades was head'n on out.
I became an atheist in under two minutes. That the BoM requires a literal global flood, literal Noah and ark, tower of Babel in about 2500-2300 BC. When I realized I couldn't just have that be allegory, it was over and over fast.
Once I read about the kinderhook plates the sickening feeling started, and for about a week it continued to grow as I read everything I could find about the mormon church.
However long it took me to read about the Book of Abraham on Mormon think. 30 minutes?
The recognition swept through my body. It was a physical feeling. Rage, relief, I knew it! and those rotten sob's....simultaneously went through my mind.
I went into the living room and showed my husband what i'd just read. He just quietly said "I thought so."
And then we were done. That was on a Sunday after church. We haven't been back since then.
I can't remember whether it was April or May. Probably the latter, but by mid-June I was in the thick of Fawn Brodie's "No Man Knows My History." By the time I was done with that book, I was fully, consciously out. So less than two months. Probably.
I had the sick feeling immediately upon reading a pre-1921 version of the D&C, which included Joseph Smith's "less ripened" version of the Godhead. I knew right away that my life had been dedicated to a lie. I stopped going to church two weeks later, as soon as I got my calling taken care of, and resigned within a few months.
I watched the movie The Book of Abraham it was about 1 hour long. And I felt sick I went online and found MormonThink. Now it has been about 2-3 months and it is sinking in more and more.