I'm puzzled by the continuing stigma against male bisexuality. I've encountered supposedly "liberal" males and females who both seem to have a problem with it.

At one time, I was starting to open up to the world about my persuasion, but now I'm trying to put the genie back in the bottle. The world just isn't ready unless your name happens to be David Bowie.

I'm so glad I at least have a few friends who supercool about such things.

Your thoughts?

It didn't make sense to me then, and it doesn't make sense to me know.

There has to be a spectrum of sexual preference for men and women.

I'm looking forward to the responses.

And so attracted to men that images of men kissing gives me a pleasant reaction. Where I respond with..."meh" when I see men and women, or women kissing women.

I suppose I could be interested in a 3 way with more than one man. But since I prefer monogomy in a long term relationship it makes sense to me that I would be happier with a man who is attracted to women. So that when he sees men kissing his response is "meh"

I used to have a fuck buddy who would, of course, have no reason to lie to me, who told me, "Both," when I asked him whether he was more attracted to men or women. I then asked him, thinking I would narrow it down to gay but able to have sex with women, which he preferred visually. He said, "Both." Some people really are 50/50.

I think almost everyone is bisexual to some extent but for most people, it leans very heavily in one direction. I've also known men who identify as gay that have had successful sexual relationships with women.

I had another fuck buddy who turned to bisexuality after his wife started refusing him. He grew up straight, but decided, based on early life experience, that he could go for guys if he chose to, so now he has sex with men so that he doesn't fall in love with anyone else. He told me that after his wife passes (she is apparently terminally ill) that he will start dating women again in order to have a full relationship with women.

(And yes, I know what I'm admitting to in this reply, and no, I'm not defending it. And no, I no longer help any man cheat.)

I can't claim to be one of those special 50/50's. I considered myself "bicurious" for a long time, but I started to realize that was an understatement.

With a lot of bisexuals, it can be more of an environmental thing, or so it seems. I've known men (yes, biblically as well) who came to bisexuality by sitting down in a porno theater and letting some guy play with them, or giving the eye to a guy in the shower and all of a sudden changing their minds from thinking totally straight to bi-curious.

I'm certainly not saying you should jump into bed with every impulse. But there are a lot of guys who don't consciously tell themselves until an opportunity presents itself. It can happen in your 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond.

Interesting, I was just writing in my journal about this.

I had one encounter with a cousin when I was 10, though men/boys had never turned me on. It was more curiosity of fellatio in general than it was sexual attraction, because while I had been drilled HARD about respecting a woman's body, I was too young to understand the church's stance on homosexuality at ALL.

This meant that as I child i thought that what I was doing was a lesser sin than playing with a girl. (on par with masturbation, which I still didn't know as a sin, really...) I can see in retrospect how what I thought was chivalry was actually misogyny in disguise, but that's another topic entirely.

My mother and aunt found out what happened and freaked the hell OUT. I remember the tears in their eyes and the giant emotional lecture we received. It was one of the most embarrassing ordeals of my life, especially because I was worried my family would get the wrong idea about me. (I'm probably like a 0.5 on the Kinsey scale. xD)

Anyway, I have ZERO issues with people with homosexual tendencies and urges. Some of my best friends are gay and I love them to death.

And on the note of spectrums, I agree. I actually joke (though I probably mean it in all seriousness...) that if I had to choose between a woman in the bottom 25% of the sexual attractiveness pool in America (including age, sickness, etc...), and the most attractive man to give me head, I'd go with the man. xD

I want to do a skit with two men on a bench, checking out a pair of legs walking behind a billboard in a city while grinning ear to ear.

Then a drag queen with perfect legs walks out from behind the billboard

You wanna talk about cognitive dissonance? ;)

-V

I think for males it is worse for sure. I find the stigma as a femal bisexual too, though.

I have a female friend that lost friends for that very reason.

I don't tell a lot of the people I know, for that very reason. I just keep it to myself. I'm married, but the question still seems to come up regularly.

I'm a Kinsey 2, scoring 33 variable 1.

It describes me as a rubber eraser, I'm flexible. Lol. It also says that I tend towards the opposite gender, but I basically could love anyone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/25/2013 09:42AM by fidget.

I don't understand why its an issue unless its your lover & you don't want to share (with anyone.) but that's the same in any committed relationship that's not open. Who wants to share if its not an open relationship. Would it be threatening that there are more people to share with? I don't see it that way I see it that some complicated multi faceted amazing marvelous personality and body combination must be providing the relationship opportunity for someone who is bisexual to want to be or say they want to be committed to let alone faithful to you or me or whomever they finally found as a primary life time life long lover.

Why? Do you mean that people feel threatened or worried a bisexual person won't find a soul mate or kindred soul or best amazing friend lover eventually? I'm an optimist I think there's about 36 or 39 soul mates alive for everyone and that's a perfect fit which isn't even needed for bliss. I think eventually someone will fill the bill fit the fit and it doesn't matter.

I also think as one of my friends mentioned yesterday about a lover that is a 'switch hitter' I don't think it matters if you have enough in common to pursue a relationship. There's someone for everyone. Why are people upset?

Interesting thread--thanks for starting it!

Alfred Kinsey's research in the 1940s and 50s validated the spectrum in sexual preference among men and women. Today there are "Kinsey Scales" and sexuality "tests" loosely derived from it all over the internet.

http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-hhscale.html

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-kinsey-n-klein-orientation-test

http://mormon-enigma.blogspot.com/2009/08/kinsey-scale.html

Off to hello quizzy...

I think it means that you're basically straight (1 on the Kinsey Scale), with an occasional tendency to be attracted to cuties of your own gender.

On it.

well i'm against it.

first, i'm pro male gay. the more gay men out there, the more women out there for me. that simple.

second, if you are bi-sexual, then you can potentially have some of those women out there too --which is not cool.

you can't have it both ways pal. it's like double-dipping or something.

can't you just find a gay male and leave the women alone? that's all i'm asking.

thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you for your cooperation.

polyamory = problem solved

I am sure there are true bisexuals, but most of the bisexuals I have met were gay guys coming out who thought that being bi was more acceptable than gay.

I have one friend who was bi for years, and I asked him how many women he had slept with versus men. He hadn't been with a woman in years, and not a single one since he started dating guys. To me, that is a guy who realized he was gay but was afraid of the word.

I don't get it, either. I figure we're all born as we are, for whatever value you wan to apply to "are."

I think some people are just scared of things they can't understand and, rather than asking questions to gain insight, they would rather ridicule and put down.

From what I've read bisexuality is much more common among females than males. Males are more likely to be either straight or gay, rather than something in between. That's not saying male bisexuality doesn't exist, just that it doesn't occur as often as female bisexuality. So maybe since there are fewer male bisexuals out there, people are less familiar with the idea and more likely to be prejudiced? Who knows.

From a gay point of view a lot of guys in the coming out process go through a period when they think maybe they're bisexual. They're not ready to acknowledge that they're gay yet, so bisexuality is easier to accept psychologically. So among gay men there can be a tendency to dismiss male bisexuality with an attitude such as "Yeah, they're gay, they just haven't realized it yet." (In other words, some people have a hard time realizing that their experiences don't necessarily apply to everyone else.)

Also, a stigma against male bisexuality may just be part of the stigma associated with male-male sex in general. Ie., "Two girls going at it is hot! Two guys going at it is icky."



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/25/2013 12:33PM by bezoar.

I had my then 23 year old gay son tell me he doesn't believe in bi-sexuality. He thought you were either straight or gay, and then sometimes confused.

Needless to say he has grown up since then, and has changed his opinion. I think it really has to do with lack of education on the subject or lack of experience.