1) We used to be Mormons. We sat in your meetings where friends were "assigned" to inactives. We heard how you talked about inactives. We listened to you talk about how sorry you felt for the children of inactives and the implication they were inferior parents. We know you assigned the YW to bring cookies because you thought inactives needed "help" and "service." We already read your Book of Mormon. Possibly more times than you did. We know how to pray. We know what you mean by "feel the spirit." Many of us really believed and cared more about those beliefs than any of you, which is how we studied our way out. We know some Mormons can be extremely offensive if we mistakenly take them seriously. We realize you aren't really "just dropping by." We don't really think you need our help so the missionaries can practice giving discussions or help translating their testimonies for an investigator. We are on to all your little stunts because we heard you planning to use them on others for ourselves.

2) There are more of us than there are of you. Two out of three Mormons leave active church participation. Some resign, some disappear, some just want to be left alone. The large majority didn't leave because they were offended but offended or not, they don't see any value in hanging around with Mormons. We talk amongst ourselves and can catch you in lies. We laugh about your fake offers of friendship. We like each others' company far more than we ever liked yours. The whole world opened up to us when we left and we discovered, for the most part, that non-LDS and former Mormons are much nicer and have higher morals than active Mormons. Mormons can't imagine that people don't want to hang out with them and don't look up to them. We don't feel privileged to have your attention. A lot of times we find it boring or irritating and the ideas you discuss small and uneducated. We also talk about how there are many nice Mormons and how we wish they'd come to their senses and hang out with a better group of people (i.e. non-Morons.) We know that non-LDS don't look up to Mormons like we were taught they do in church because when we left Mormonism, all our non-LDS friends congratulated us on figuring it out. Then they tell us what they really have always thought about Mormons, behind their polite facades. But what you should remember most of all is that we compare notes and we can see through you. Don't forget that.

Yeah, why would anyone want to go back and play in the kiddie pool after you'd windsurfed Ho'okipa? (The cookies would have to be really, really, really good for me to go back.)

Bravo! So true!!

CA girl Wrote:
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> We know that non-LDS don't look up to Mormons like
> we were taught they do in church because when we left
> Mormonism, all our non-LDS friends congratulated
> us on figuring it out. Then they tell us what
> they really have always thought about Mormons,
> behind their polite facades.

This is sooooo true! I couldn't believe all of the people that shared their true feelings with me once they knew I was done. It just blew me away.

Isn't that surprising? I'd always been taught that people looked up to Mormons and respected them for their morals and clean living. But I didn't have a single non-LDS friend express concern about me leaving. One person was totally shocked but every single other person responded with relief and congratulations. Then they told me what they had really always thought of Mormons. One of my best non-Mormon friends for the last 30 years, who I thought wasn't interested in Mormonism but thought highly of Mormons, confessed that while she knew nice Mormons like my family, she thought most of them were just crazy. And, she said my mom was becoming more of a religious freak every year and it had bothered her for some time. My mom is like her family too and they talk all the time. This friend and I stayed up til 3:00 a.m. hashing through everything I'd learned about Mormonism but really, I was surprised at how well she'd kept her feelings about my religious choices to herself and for how long.

I think that experience really drove home to me how polite non-LDS people are about religion, seeing it as a private matter and their good manners should not be taken as approval or admiration - just a civilized level of tolerance.

I called my black-sheep brother to apologize.

I needed to read this today. It my thoughts put on paper. Thank you for sharing!

This is great and so true!! I wish I could post this on my facebook so my many TBM "Friends" and Family could get it

Excellent! I enjoy your posts. You read my mind!

I hate having the missionaries sent to the house. They always want to teach us about the church. Dude, I know more about this church than you do.

I know - I served a mission, graduated from BYU and went to all 4 years of seminary. I get the picture boys. I want to say "I know more about the church than you do. If you knew what I know, you'd be home making out with your girlfriend right now and not wasting your time on my doorstep."

Why are mormons sooooooooo afraid when people leave? Is it because the product only works when others buy into it? It's like having a phone when there are only 2 other people with phones that you can call.

dk Wrote:
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> Why are mormons sooooooooo afraid when people
> leave?

I'll respond to this comment - I think there are several reasons.
One is fear. Lots of it. Fear of the unknown.
Fear of lose of relationships, spouse, children,family, friends,career, job,and fear of their promised after life, just to name a few.

It also tends to be easier to stay put in the family and social units within the religion and it's cultural heritage that tend to be a constant.

Fear certainly keeps people in the church. But the church also likes to state mormonism is true because we have X number of members. What does it say when members are leaving in droves? The church isn't true? I'm on a sinking ship, others are getting off, do they know something I don't?

And, there are more Muslims and more Catholics - does that make them more true than Mormonism?

Mormons will probably tell you all those people are deluded or being mislead. Don't hit them with logic, their heads will explode.

Great post! I feel the same way. I am always leary that any mormons I meet will have an ulterior motive. If I mention I'm from Utah they will most likely assume that I am/was mormon. A number of years ago a woman that lived nearby bought something from me at a garage sale. I probably had on a Utah Jazz shirt so she asked me if I was from Utah. She was all of the sudden interested in inviting me to church. For all I know she saw my name on the ward list. It was pretty obvious she was interested in getting me to church, much more than making a new friend.

Now when people ask me if I'm mormon I either say I'm not or that I'm recovering. I said I was recovering to one of my doctors and we had a good laugh over it. He recommended that I read "Under the Banner of Heaven". He's my favorite doctor ever.

This is all news to so many lifetime mormons.

Excellent!..Well said!..Bravo!

We've been there and have experienced the mindset and seen the backroom conniving firsthand. That's why our speculations about TBM activities tend to be more realistic than those who automatically assume all exmos must be eaily offended, lazy, or under the influence of Satan.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/27/2013 04:29AM by Cheryl.