Would I also get a six figure salary, rides in private jets, book deals, and celebrity status?

You mean $900,000, right?

"Apostles" don't have to pay tithing. Didn't you get the memo?

I know that when they first ordered everyone else to pay tithing (in Nauvoo) they exempted themselves. I thought this exemption was a bit of a scandal by the Great Depression. I thought at least some of the apostles began paying and by the 1960's they were at least paying on net.

kolobian Wrote:
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> You mean $900,000, right?

Yeah, do I have to pay tithing, plus fast offerings on that?

only if I could resign again after I collected. Otherwise it's not worth it for me. I hated feeling used and abused by church 'friends'. I hated feeling 'not good enuf'. I hated not being able to say things because they weren't 'kosher'.

I do miss being able to thumb my nose at a lot of those people, since I don't live in that city anymore.

Hell yes I would.

Yep. I'd probably get excommunicated within a month for what I would spend that money on because I'd use a significant part of it to attempt to expose the lies of the church.

I would also be excommunicated, but I'd spend mine on hookers and blow. Your cause is probably a littler nobler though

Wouldn't $1 million simply be a tithing refund plus interest plus reimbursement for pain and suffering?

One million is not worth being a cult whore!

Mo Zombie no longer works for me!

Absolutely, yes.

The more they saw me in church giving my non-testimony and explaining the true history of the church, the more they would regret they would have for paying me to come back.

My first class in Relief Society would be "How to Be Authentic," which is anti-Mormon on its face.


Anagrammy

I'd have me some fun. See how long- or short- I can go between dunking-->excommunication!

Hell, what wouldn't I do for $1 million?

F**K no.

Having some experience with selling off just a sliver of my soul for a lot less, I know too well the damage it causes.

Nobody buys my integrity. Not anymore.

If we are talking about becoming an apostle, I could do so much damage from the inside.

No beer allowed....that ain't gonna work!

Ron Burr

Wow, no. I'm worth more than that. And I don't mean I'm currently packing millions, I'm not! I just mean my price is much much higher than that.

$1 million is only halfway to a proper retirement for me and the hubs, so you're saying I'd still have to work AND put up with weekly/daily mormon poo???

I don't think so!

Now if it was enough to pay for all my close relatives(not even all my 40 cousins, just direct close relatives) college educations, their mortgages and other debts AND my happy, peace of mind, all expenses paid retirement, and a few wells in Africa or India to offset their lack of genuine humanitarian work... THEN we can talk.

So long as I am free to anti-proselytize in my down time!

I could retire on a cool million. But they're not into giving money. They're only into taking it. They ain't getting another penny from me.

It depends on the small print conditions for accepting the "cool million bucks".

Assuming they only asked for RE-baptism & 100% attendance (but not necessarilly ATTENTION), with no tithing, and assuming I would live for another 10 years, that would work out to about $2000 per 3 hr. bloc ($666 per hr), I'd be S O R E L Y TEMPTED to take them up on the offer...IF it was also TAX FREE!

Torture. I can't accept the torture of TSCC meetings. Not even for ten mill. I'm rather live in a simple cabin and eat nothing but beans than be part of TSCC.

Time is the most valuable thing I have. I wouldn't waste a single more minute of my life in the church for any price.

I am at a financial hard spot. If I had to re-baptize, take callings and not open my mouth to appear TBM, I would not. Nope, no way.

A million ain't enough....trust me...

Ron Burr

Kinda like an ex-Mormon version of "Indecent Proposal," huh? By the way, Crystal tells me she'd totally sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Hell, I would, too. :-)

My sphincter just tightened at the very thought. To quote the poet, no effing way.

I'm a medical resident and am poorer than poor. Wife is a trust fund baby, but there's a limit to how much $ I can take from her parents and still look at myself in the mirror. So yeah, I'd go back. I'd go to the temple once a year.I wouldn't clean the building nor would I encourage my wife to do it. I'd arrange my shifts so I was always working on Sundays. (Everyone knows residents work killer hours, and hardly anyone would question it.)

My only stipulation would be that I would not tithe on the one million or on anything the wife or I earned.

By the way, my sweet wife, who has cystic fibrosis, is critically ill with pseudomonas aeruginosa pneumonia. I'm visiting various websites as I watch her lie in bed unconscious because I can't do much for her, so I'm trying to occupy my mind. If I come across something funny, I read it aloud, hoping maybe she's hearing it, though nothing seems very funny right now.

Any positive vibes, good wishes, prayers . . . whatever you do that works for you . . . would be appreciated.

scmd, I'm so sorry for you and your wife! I'm a little bit sick, and couldn't breathe for a while. Doctors can do a lot to help a person breathe--but not being able to take a breath is very frightening! I have a friend who's children all have CF.

Nothing funny comes to mind, but you and your wife have all my prayers, positive vibes, good wishes, and love.

P.aeruginosa? I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope antibiotics can work for her. (My undergrad is in Micro. I know that bug well.)

I'm glad she has you to help her.

Sending good wishes for her and you.

Maybe you can let her parents help you with school. They might enjoy taking some credit for your accomplishment!

(this was the original text)



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2013 09:44PM by josie.

josie Wrote:
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> n/t

I answered the question, which was totally on topic. I didn't realize that asking for a few prayers or good wishes at the same time was such a cardinal sin. I feel almost as though I'm among Saducees and Pharisees and Mormons. Josie, even if it wasn't the perfect place might you not cut a man just a little slack whose wife is battling for her life? Don't answer my post if you don't feel inclined to offer sympathy or support, but kicking me when I was already pretty far down was indeed a low blow.

I had put the comment in the wrong place, meant to put it underneath yours -- "Sending healing vibes to your wife" but had to get off the board before I did. Not meaning to say anything negative! I've had plenty of nights like those. ((sending good energy))

josie Wrote:
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> I had put the comment in the wrong place, meant to
> put it underneath yours -- "Sending healing vibes
> to your wife" but had to get off the board before
> I did. Not meaning to say anything negative! I've
> had plenty of nights like those. ((sending good
> energy))


Thanks, Josie

Not a snowball's chance in the Telestial kingdom.

I already gave up an inheritance way more than that. Told them to shove their filthy money up their a$$.

Life is too short. It's too valuable to waste it in that emotional vampire cult.

I would. Do I need to follow all the rules and such? If that's the case, you might need to up it to 100 million.

I would become homicidal if they offered the money. There wouldn't be any tscc prophet or quorum when I was done. That would be the last straw.



....come to think of it, I would be homicidal at a $1 bribe.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2013 07:19PM by orange.

absolutely not. that's not enough