It is 8:20 my time, and I had just put my kids to bed.

I picked up my son from school with a 102 degree fever. I could not get him in to his regular doctor, so we had to go to the urgent care clinic, where my daughter threw a silent fit and kicked and hit me before sliding to the waiting room floor, where she lay for half an hour as people stepped over her. It was great.

When we finally saw the doctor, she gave us a prescription. As we were leaving, my son knocked my daughter over while opening the clinic door, then smashed her head between the car door and the next car as he opened it. Holy crap.

Then we went to get the prescription, waited around for that, then came home to eat a quick dinner before the kids went to bed. I had just sat down to enjoy a show I had recorded for myself with a nice glass of wine, and decompress from the day, when the Missionaries banged on the door. I had always intended to be really nice to the mishies if they ever came by, but today was not the day. My poor sick kid had just lay down in the room right next to the front door. Not cool. All I could say was NO. So my dear hubby opened the door and politely made a comment about how they were out quite late and don't they have to be in bed soon? And sent them on their way. Oh, well. Maybe next time I can be nice. :)

I would never visit anyone after 8:00 pm unless we'd talked about it beforehand. Oh... I momentarily forgot who we are talking about.

We get a fair amount of phone calls around 9:00 pm, my grandmother is soon to be 89 years old and they think she's still AWAKE?!

When my son was about 5 he came down with a stomach bug. He threw up at least every half hour from around 10pm-6am. The poor kid was miserable and my husband and I were severely sleep-deprived and stunk like puke. We finally drifted off to sleep around 7am when DING DONG!!!! The mishies decided to ring the doorbell and see if my husband (a doctor) could give one of them something for a headache. My husband asked if they'd ever heard of tylenol and slammed the door shut in their faces. That might have been the one day of my life I could have actually murdered someone.

Not only do Mormons have no concept of bounderies but not manners either!

8:00? That's nothing. My mission (SLC, Utah) REQUIRED us to proselyte until 9:30 at night!

Actually, I think 9:30pm was the rule for every mission (as far as the "white handbook" was concerned).

I NEVER felt comfortable about knocking on doors that late...I even told one companion of mine that we'd be better just biking around if "obeying the rules" was the object, rather than interrupting people's evenings...

Are you in Idaho, btw? I was going to put a post up because we had the missionaries ring our door bell at 8:05 tonight. Here it is dumping snow outside, my husband was having a quick nap on the couch, and we were starting a nice quiet Friday evening. Anytime after 8:00, especially without a phone call, is too late to be ringing people's door bells...

No, we are in AZ. :) Same difference when it comes to missionaries, I guess.

I've written about this before. Missionaries and exmos sitting comfortably at their computers often assume that "it's taking the high road" to drop everything to accomodate strangers at the door.

No. Most people are doing what's important to them whenever they're at home. Anyone who unexpectently rings the bell is interrupting someone's life and personal privacy.

I've written about how residents could be sleeping, nursing a baby, waiting for word on someone's surgery, writing a job application, tending to a sick family member, or recuperating from a trying day. All of these things and hundreds of others trump dealing with strangers who want to sell their religious cult.

Yet, it's considered "mean" by many if someone simply tells missionaries, "I'm not interested. Take me off you list. Goodbye."

That isn't mean. It honest and it's reasonable.

If someone has nothing more pressing to do than spend time with missionaries, that's well and good for them and for the mishies. It's their choice. But it doesn't make that person in any way more honorable or kind than someone with a sick child or someone who is busy making quilts for the homeless or cooking stew for a sick friend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/22/2011 11:37AM by Cheryl.

...that just because someone knocks on the door, I am not under obligation to open the door or to respond to them in any way. If I do choose to respond to them, I can do it through a closed and locked door if I wish.

At times these strangers have been insulted or even infuriated that I will not open the door to them (they have generally been trying to sell me something, collect money for charity, take an opinion poll, or whatever.) I could care less.

Just because the phone rings, I am under no obligation to pick it up. If I do choose to pick it up, I am under no obligation to identify myself to a stranger. I am not obliged to return phone calls.

My personal safety, security and privacy are paramount to me. That trumps anyone else's concerns.

Growing up in mormonism taught me that there was no reasonable excuse for not opening the door, especially to church people. I remember a few times when my mother, siblings, and I cowered in the house trying to put off VTers or others when we felt we absolutely couldn't let them in. It never occured to us that we could ignore the knocking or simply say sorry we couldn't invite them in. Doing that now is easy for me and sometimes the best choice for everyone.

Coming home...getting ready to close the garage door...someone selling something...almost lost his head as the door kept coming down and he kept putting his head in the way...IDIOT..

If they don't have a permit...he forgot his RIGHT...I never talk to them...period...

We had something like that happen a couple days before Christmas, only it was a member of the primary presidency.

We put our kids to bed early, especially on school nights. It was the night before their last day of school for the break. We had just got the kids to bed and the woman called. We small talked for a bit then she asked if she could come over and meet the kids. Our ward boundaries just got redone and she doesn't know us. Anyhow, it was 8:30 and I told her the kids were in bed. She acted all surprised.

Seriously...

As you know, we all know it's only the parents' business to decide bedtimes their kiddies.

My Dh died on a Thurs. My older son and mom stayed with me and the 2 kids still at home Thurs and fRi night. Sat night they went home and the kids and I all camped out in the living room. We watched a movie and then just slept there so we could all be together.

Sun morning just before 9 the now bishop of the ward rang the doorbell. I had not seen this guy in YEARS. I was up and awake as I wasn't sleeping much, but all the kids were asleep.

I was sorta shocked that someone would come that early or at all under the circumstances without calling first. I quickly answered the door and in a very low voice told him my children were sleeping in the next room. He wanted to say how sorry blah, blah, was on his way to church (inspired perhaps to stop?), blah blah. I quickly shut him down as I wanted the kids (who had just lost their FATHER) to sleep!

Not good for strangers to show up at horrific times, not good at all. Early morning and late night makes is worse if that's possible. Hope you and kids are recovering.

Hope that bish slunk of and felt bad about his behavior, but I doubt it.

I'm so sorry for your loss♥ and hope that you and your children are okay.

Thank you for concern. we are doing "okay." It has been 7 months and I think the realilties of being a single mom are hitting me. I can make it through the day or week, but it is exhausting to think about the long term.

I have told this story here before but briefly, my DH was a nevermo. He supported me in church though and sometimes even attended (since I was mo when we married, he accepted that). We were married 20 years before I decided it was all a crock and the only thing he said was, "I don't know what took you so long." We were married 10 more years before he died and it was some of the 10 best years of our marriage.

One of the biggest reasons was that I could really except him and love him for who he was. Taking of the mormoniss glasses allowed me to focus on all his many good qualities instead of what he needed to change so he would be "good" (preisthood, temple marriage,)etc my big regret is that I didn't leave MUCH earlier!!

My best thoghts and good wishes are with you and your kiddies.

So glad you shared.

Now this urge is probably bad. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I would do if I got that knock on the door. Being gay, I have this fantasy of offering solice and comfort. "Dinner, lesson or me?" I know I shall burn for this one.

We have at times sent men on missions to get rid of them; but they have generally come back. Some think it is an imposition upon the world to send such men among them. But which is best—to keep them here to pollute others, or to send them where pollution is more prevalent?

Author: Brigham Young
Source: Journal Of Discourses
Volume: 7
Page: 229
.....................

Do not ever contact me or my family in any way shape or form.
This time is the only time that I will be civil in demanding you leave us alone.

Hehe... 8pm? We once had them drop by at nearly 10pm!!

And there was one very odd Elder.... He knew my marriage was completely on the rocks, and my husband worked until almost 1:00am. This guy would call me from the missionary's cell phone at GOD AWFUL hours of the night!! At least twice a week. Just to "ask how I was doing and see if I needed anything". The latest was around midnight, for heaven's sake! Woke me up out of a dead sleep one time, and I was REALLY mad.... Oh!!!

he wanted to hook up with you, but he had to wait until his comp was asleep.