Posted by:
voltaire
(
)
Date: January 25, 2011 10:48AM
She is behaving EXACTLY the way Mormon mothers behave when faced with this news. She has swallowed the Mormon party line hook, line, and sinker and is running hard with it. Your job is to GET THAT HOOK OUT OF HER HEAD AND TURN HER AROUND.
The only way you can do that is to speak kindly, gently, and patiently with her, but 1,000,000,000,000% DISAGREE with EVERYTHING she has already said in no uncertain terms. She is fabricating irrational arguments. If she hasn't already done so, soon she will be looking up Spencer W. Kimball's advice in the Miracle of Forgiveness. She is also beginning repeating what she has heard in church because she's trying to solidify their arguments in her head before she goes back to your brother for Round 2, Round 3, Round 4, etc.
If she can't learn to control herself, you will need to inform her that if her goal is to rip your family apart by the seams, she will successfully accomplish that in short order by proceeding in the direction she has been following. If she wishes to have any kind of normal family in this lifetime, period, at all, inform her that she will drop the church party-line of gay-hate immediately if not sooner and start listening to, reading, comprehending and applying rational, factual information immediately. Get as many siblings on board with you as possible and inform her that you nor any of your siblings will support her in this cult-induced behavior.
If you don't stage this strong of an intervention in her line of thought now, you're going to have FAR WORSE demonstrations of total hysteria out of her in no time. She is already irrationally convinced that innocent events from deep childhood are the cause of differences in human sexuality. She is already irrationally convinced that he can "change." She is already irrationally convinced that her parenting is at fault somehow.These positions are TOTALLY ILLOGICAL. If she gets hard-assed about these things, you may have to insist that she speak with representatives of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). In fact if I were you I would do that sooner than later. There are chapters in every city of any size, and these kind people can talk more intelligently and compassionately about your mother/brother situation with her than anyone outside of a non-mormon counselor. If she persists in being outrageously irrational, insist that she speak to a licensed non-mormon psychologist.
If your brother is NOT 100% prepared to enter this kind of commando negotiating with her at this point in his development and self-acceptance, you should STRONGLY advise him to begin SERIOUSLY LIMITING her access to him through ANY means of communication until she learns to control her hysteria. She will only damage him worse than the cult already has by trying to manipulate him. According to you she has already started: this needs to be stopped immediately. You can not have rational dialog with an irrational person.
I wish you, your brother, and your mother the very best possible family relationship in the future. In order to have that, you may need to be rather ruthlessly harsh with your mother now, because the church has already prepared her to be their weapon against your brother and who he is, and make no mistake: THIS IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL WAR. THE CULT WILL USE THIS TO DESTROY YOUR FAMILY IF YOU LET THEM. Best wishes.