Anon for what seem like identifying details. The below is just a bunch of complaining but I just felt like I wanted to get it out to a group who may understand. I had been in a good place for the past year or so but now I'm finding myself so fresh with hate for TSCC right now.

It has been under 2 years since I learned the fraud of TSCC and left, in that time I feel like I went from a confident person in my profession and in life to second guessing everything I do and say. My friends don't understand but I feel like buying the lie of TSCC all those years did a number on my self confidence and with some other things piled on now I'm so depressed and feel like I'll never feel like that old confident person I used to be.

When I first figured it out I was shocked and still spend months digging into all the things I hadn't known but I felt free, I felt good and like life was about to really begin for me at almost 30. Then I got laid off but I was alright and eventually started a new job, life was pretty good, then another layoff and my self confidence really started to suffer. Then I thought I was starting a semi dream job and it all fell apart within a few months because of several reasons but partially because I grew so timid and self conscience in situations where I hadn't been before and second guessed everything I did. I decided to leave before I could be laid off again.

Now my self confidence is down the drain and I can't blame it all on TSCC but I feel like that is a huge part of it and where it all started. It messed with my mind in a way I feel like I can see but can't get past and now the other circumstances in my life just kill my ability to care anymore.

I hate TSCC for changing me like this. It has also affected my self confidence in relation to attempts to date since I was brain washed into "staying pure" and I'm a 30+ year old virgin.

I feel very much like you do and I have been out about the same amount of time. I'm really sorry to hear about how difficult it is, I'm having a really hard time myself. I definitely think TSCC is to blame for it all--I embraced my shy nature wholeheartedly in order to avoid sin as much as possible (like even the thought of sinning, of course I now know that's impossible). This has left me not entirely socially incompetent, but I don't know what's normal in the non-mormon world like AT ALL. I need a deconversion summer camp or something. Anyways, yeah, I hope you can find an attractive male or female to be with sometime soon. The brainwashing about sexual "purity" seems to be one of the hardest to kick. Well, good luck! I think you can turn things around.