Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
)
Date: August 07, 2013 02:25PM
A snapshot of some of my background, plus some of my conclusions from my experiences.
Here goes!
I was raised in a Christian based home. God, America and Apple Pie. Christianity, is of course, Bible based and as such, it was referred to often, but not often read in the home. I had to hunt for a Bible to use when I needed it! I remember being told by "dad" (my maternal grandfather) that I could find the answer to any problem in the Bible. He never told me where to look, however, as apparently, that was my job.
God, the Lord, the Bible was considered the final authority. Our family also practiced Spiritualism, on the side, so to speak.
In addition, I was very involved in CYF (Christian Youth Fellowship) youth activities in my teenage years in the local Christian Church I attended regularly. Some of our family attended less regularly. I was involved in leadership from a young age. I was well known to the Reverend as I had a lot of questions, most of which he said I would understand when I was older -- I guess 13 wasn't old enough. Also one of his daughters and I were good friends so I spent a lot of time in the Parsonage.
I was raised by my mother and her mother and father until I married.
My grandmother's grandfather, father, and her brother were Christian ministers, one was a Chaplain in the Army. (There may have been others.)
They were treated a little like royalty in our home. I had many experiences with both of them before they died. They remained true to their specific Christian beliefs all their life. By the time I had graduated from high school, I considered becoming a Music Minister as that was all a woman could do in those years - 50's.
Some years later, after we moved next door, most of our little family (mother and two sisters and I) converted and joined the LDS Church in 1961 when I was a young adult. We thought, naturally, from our background, that we were just joining another Christian Church. (Was I in for a surprise?!) Interestingly, we had only met with the missionaries, and never attended the LDS Church before we were baptized.
A few months later, I met my husband, married in the temple (after I was a member for a year) and lived on BYU campus for several years while he got his Electrical Engineering Degree. Our first two children were born during those years. (That was the choice that changed the whole direction of my life.)
Over 35+ years later, as a believing, active, immersed, Mormon, (raised a family in the LDS Church), I changed my mind - could no longer believe the claims of Joseph Smith Jr/Mormonism and left, officially resigning my membership in 2002. It was: "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" - a huge mixture of experiences. (Another very long story, much of which has been shared on this board.)
During the Exit Process from Mormonism, (my definition for my experiences), I did a lot of research and study. One part of the "Do It Yourself Project" as I call it, included attending other churches. I tried them on for size, so to speak. I checked out my roots: Christian Church, Spiritualist Church, then I attended some others. The most fun was the Spiritualist Church.
This is a little of my personal experience experimenting with other churches (several).
After leaving the LDS Church the one thing that bothered me the most, attending other Christian churches was their attitudes and comments toward Mormonism.
It was the same thing: they are right, Mormonism is wrong.
You poor thing, you were duped and brainwashed.
All you need is Jesus. Have you been saved? Etc. Etc.
I found the same kind of "only true" belief in Jesus and the Bible as I found in Mormonism's claims of "only true" beliefs, just slightly different ones.
Christians can preach "fire and brimstone" and be as exclusionary as Mormonism does. I was going from the frying pan into the fire.
Sure the casual dress, donuts and coffee, pot luck diners after church were a nice social experience. But that was not enough.
Then I took a break. I needed to process the mountains of new knowledge, and experiences.I needed those experiences to see religion in the Big Picture - the power of faith in God Myths. I read: "The Power of Myth" by Joseph Campbell, (excellent book with beautiful photographs etc.),and learned that those emotional bonds/attachments from early childhood on, are universal and historical.
The belief systems are different but they accomplish the same things, generally: specific designated leaders, rituals, music, specific attire, sacred writings etc. that explain the world/universe, nature ,life, death, define right and wrong,create social bonding and personal responsibility, etc in many, many different ways. They all had the same general pattern. They had the same ingredients. They all had binding rituals that were exclusive, to some extent. Also, they all had some of the same universal beliefs, and value to the experience as a human being. The glue was the same: emotional bonds to traditional beliefs which over ride reason and logic.
Clearly, the new world I found myself in was no longer: right and wrong, good and bad. There was a large gray area that I had not fully considered before.
Even societal governments attempt to legislate good and bad:, punish the bad, and reward the good. Religion plays a large role in those laws of society.
As a consequence of my experiences, and attempting to define my current position and thinking on my place in the universe/world and how I make it work,
I have titled my current state as an Eccentric Eclectic.
These are my views that make up my new World View - which I allow to evolve.
After living with the label of Mormon for most of my adult life and I determined that my beliefs would no longer fit that label, I needed a new one to describe my evolving thinking regarding my new world view.
I call myself an Eccentric Eclectic because I like a little bit of a lot of beliefs, notions, and ideas. Perhaps a lot of you are a lot like me.
I like the best notions/ideas from many old and new sources.
I pick and choose what makes sense to me, what can be validated, repeated, and rely on some simple dictionary definitions.
Everyone is technically -- agnostic according to this definition.
a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and prob. unknowable ;
In a broad sense I take this position also.
broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god
Emotional bonding to traditional beliefs, even if thy are weird superstitions overrides logic and reason if one is constantly immersed in talk that is "truth."
Ignorance (lack of knowledge) and superstition require one ignore the questions of an honest skeptic.
I am part Atheist
About atheism:
Explicit: there are no gods
Implicit a position of non belief in gods due to the lack of evidence.
The default position: non belief in the unsupported theist claim that god exists.
I am agnostic and take the default position.
Those underlying notions in no way deter me from a fulfilled life, filled with fun and laughter, and enjoyment. I am more apt to have a better understanding and able to handle the "bad" times and the ugly behavior of others because I am not relying on a deity to settle the score in some after life.
I am part: AGNOSTIC:
This is safe and the most accurate. To say you are atheist is so politically incorrect, and unacceptable in this day and age that it is suicide to try to run for office, for instance, also, so many people believe that atheism is of the devil that many relationships are cut off before they begin because of this prejudice.
I find that calling myself an agnostic is preferable and works best for my own survival on many levels. Because I live in a predominant Judeo-Christian society (like most of us posting here) to be too far out of it causes more problems that it solves.
I am part SKEPTIC
I want a lot of verifiable information from state of the art sources before I add my allegiance. I do not automatically believe someone because of who they are, what they believe or just because they said so.
I am part HUMANIST
American Humanist - "Humanism is a progressive life stance, free of supernaturalism, which affirms our ability and responsibility to lead meaningful, ethical lives that add to the greater good of humanity."
Again, I am not sure about the "supernaturalism" part, because I allow for all possibilities. Again, I want verifiable evidences.
I like a some Buddhist notions also - not specified here.
If I must have a deity, I choose Deism: might be a God/higher power, creator power, but that power does not intervene specifically in the lives of human beings.
I like the universal teachings wherever I find them: Love One Another is one from Christianity.
I put the whole religious belief issue, throughout the history of humanity, in one big category of God Myths, which are predominately cultural; most (not all) of them have at least one deity, some have hundreds, some have a savior.
In category of God Myths, in short-- Joseph Smith Jr created the only American God Myth out of the same general patterns as other religions: claims of a deity/s making contact, visions, metaphysical claims, supernatural claims, instructions for living to attain a specific after life, writing a sacred religious book, claimed inspired translations etc. Most religions are, for the most part, based on belief by faith and don't require verifiable facts to maintain their longevity. He used a very old pattern that is very often successful.
At this point, several years later, I have learned the importance of making peace with all of my life, taking my power back and owning it, what is about me and what is about someone else.
At my age, I wanted some simple powerful statements to conduct my life that would be morally, ethically, and legally acceptable.
They have become a kind of mantra.:
Love one another - Love is something you do.
Forgive everyone, everything, every time.
Treat others as you want to be treated.
My conclusions:
Leaving the LDS Church is a: Do It Yourself Project. No two people do it all the same way as there are so many variables. It's about finding what works for us, at different points in our lives. There are no manuals, no instructions, no right or wrong ways to approach it.
Everyone approaches it differently: personal experiences, attitudes, emotions, family dynamics, community, environment, etc., all contribute to our process. Most often, it seems to be a lengthy process, taking years to completely revamp our lives, and give ourselves permission to allow a new World View to evolve.
I am in my 70's and now a widow. I spent the last few years taking care of my husband as his health declined, needing Visiting Nurses then Hospice. I
I have no regrets. I chose well; my husband, of over 50 years, was always a true believer, just as I was when we met and married and for most of our marriage, worked with me to negotiate our relationship regarding the LDS Church when I decided I could no longer be a Mormon. He was always a gentleman and respected my right to change my mind. He asked what I needed from him, and I said: Just live the 11th Article of Faith
"We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." And he did. The crux of our negotiation: we agreed to disagree!
For those that know me on Facebook, I have written much of my Grief Process in a few articles.
It is my hope that we can all respect how each person manages their process whether we understand it or think it's appropriate or not. Our situations are all so different. Naturally, not everyone is going to agree with everyone else. There is no need to agree. What a welcome relief! I have observed that's a new concept for many, especially in the initial process.