Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
)
Date: August 07, 2013 10:18PM
We married in the Logan Temple in 1962. I was a new member, just over a year. He was off his mission, and someone I discounted initially as he was too "old"! (He'd been drafted then called to served a mission.) We raised our family in the LDS Church. With some of our children, it was like a bad vaccination, as the saying goes. Just didn't take. Others stuck with it, served missions. Eventually, most have left the church in one way or another.
This is the first wedding anniversary without him to celebrate with me. It's a very odd day. It's hard to be festive. I keep thinking he is out shopping and will be home so we can go to dinner but first sneaking into the house trying to hide a package, that is a surprise! (Like I didn't know!)
These are the days I tear up. It's a hard day.
Our 50th wedding anniversary, last year was such a fantastic event, planned and carried out by our adult children.
So, today I relive that day basking in the love of family and friends: visualizing the decorations, the food, the flowers, the many friends and relatives some we didn't see very often, the photographs, and the wonderful entertainment by the Cantrels, Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash Tribute Artists. He rallied for the day - walking as fast as he could with his walker, with a huge smile on his face. While his health deteriorated, his mind did not. Until the very last, when he passed away in January of this year.
He remained a believer to his last days, giving me instructions on his services which he approved at Christmas time when all of our children came for a final visit. We had a wonderful bishop who helped us carryout his wishes in exactness. Most of the children and grand children participated in the LDS Service (eulogies/prayers) and LDS Dedication of the Grave and the Honor Guard with our oldest son, retired Army Major, presenting the flag from his casket to me. That is a moment that is most precious to me and one I'll never forget.
I am struggling to figure out how to live as a single woman - a widow. I found one of the "good guys" - a true gentleman, who lived the Boy Scout Oath and Law (able to repeat it up until his health failed.) He was genuinely kind, and a great example of support and unconditional love for his children. He taught them to drive. He would stay up late typing a paper in his office for the children. He was an Electrical Engineer with a Math Minor all of which was very helpful to the children in many of their studies. We had thousands of shared experiences that pop into my head -- something different every day.
He graduated from BYU with a BES in 1966 and I got my "Put Hubby Through" degree.
Just recently I got a call from the BYU Library that a book was dedicated in his name. It's a bit humorous as it's not something he studied! "From Republic to Empire, Rhetoric, Religion and Power of the Visual Culture of Ancient Rome"
I bought the book for our anniversary gift!
Even though we spent many of the last years with different belief systems, we negotiated a truce! We agreed to disagree. I respected his rights to his beliefs and he respected my rights to mine. Much of it never needed to be spoken.
Fortunately,I have a very supportive family (we support each other), and many supportive friends, some widows also that have been willing to share their wisdom.
This is a new kind of life. It takes all of my strength to get through it. I take it one day at a time. I'm grateful he made it to our 50th anniversary. I will always wish it was many more.