Here is "the list" in case you didn't already know it by heart.

How to Identify the Perfect LDS Woman, as Identified by Focus Groups in Written Surveys and Oral Discussion

Cultural Artifacts
Children are active in the Church
Children's artwork/trophies
Drive minivan or suburban (or BMW=Big Mormon Wagon)
Food storage
Piano
Pictures of Christ
Pictures of married daughters
Pictures of temple
Proclamation on the Family
Wooden plaques with sayings like “Love Begins at Home,” “Return With Honor,” or
“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Wreath on the front door that matches everyone else's because they made them in Relief Society

Family
Cares for home and family/has lots of kids
Children excel
Children have their jobs/chores done
Children don’t fight
Children get good grades
Confides in husband if she's sad or angry
Makes sure family reads scriptures
Drives kids around (soccer mom)
Family does everything together
Family eats dinner together
Good mother
Good wife
Helps kids with homework
Holds Family Home Evening
Home is clean but cluttered, smells like cookies or pie
Home is somewhere you want to be—feels safe, comfortable
Laundry done and folded
Lives close to extended family

Mother
Never yells at her children
Stay-at-home Mom
Super Mom
Throws perfect kids parties
Sings in the car
Supports husband
Well-mannered children

Homemaking Skills
Cans
Cleans/clean house
Cooks fabulous meals
Crochets
Cross-stitches
Decorates with homemade things
Gardens—grows lots of zucchini to share with neighbors
Knits things for humanitarian service
Makes bread
Makes breakfast/dinner
Makes cookies
Makes crafts
Makes homemade doilies
Makes jam
Quilts/ties quilts
Scrapbooks
Sews
Tole paints
Uses a tablecloth

Personality Traits
Bubbly
Cheerful
Compassionate
Confident
Considerate
Courageous
Creative
Dignified
Friendly
Genuine—you can tell that she really cares
Gracious
Happy
Kind
Leader
Optimistic
Organized
Patient
Proper
Reliable
Resourceful
Self-confident
Smart/educated
Trustworthy

Physical Characteristics
Doesn’t overeat
Dresses modestly
Exercises (e.g. speed walks around the neighborhood while pushing a stroller)
Good-looking/beautiful
Mormon mom haircut (from having 6 kids and not wanting any of them to pull it)
Well-groomed
Random Items
Attends book club
Doesn’t compete
Doesn’t swear
Explores her talents and takes her own lessons in between running her kids around
Good friend
Good neighbor
Manages money well
Never loses temper
No such thing
Plays musical instrument (esp. piano)
PTA president
Sings
Well-rounded

Spiritual Characteristics
Admits mistakes/doesn't have to be perfect
At peace with self
Balanced life
Charity
Christlike
Doesn't pretend to be perfect
Enduring/doesn’t complain
Forgiving
Good example
Has a testimony and shares it
Has faith
Has the heart of a child
Has a light/happy glow
Humble
Integrity
Knowledge of the gospel
Knows she is a child of God
Learns from mistakes
Loves the Lord
Loving
Makes you feel loved
Meek
Not judgmental/accepts others
Peacemaker
Sacrifices
Selfless
Spiritual
Tries to improve
Understands her role (equal with priesthood)
Virtuous/high values
Religiously Motivated Actions
Attends all church meetings
Attends temple
Does genealogy
Follows spiritual promptings
Keeps commandments/covenants
Lives her religion
Magnifies callings
Prays
Reads scriptures, and gets up early to do so
Serves others
Visiting teaching
Visits neighbors and takes them casseroles

http://digitalcommons.usu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1220&context=etd&sei-redir=1

well, that sounds easy!

+1

...this?

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/2010/12/donny-and-marie_10_a_l.jpg

Thanks for topping my old thread. This was such a moment of insight for me in what my wife goes through in thinking she can attain some level of Mormon/Wife/Mother perfection.

I'll take 2!

I'd make such as lovely Mormon woman for not only am I all of the above, I also fart flowers.

<bats eyelids>

spaghetti oh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'd make such as lovely Mormon woman for not only
> am I all of the above, I also fart flowers.

I also fart fresh bread smell from eating my year supply of wheat.

With such an extensive list, this can only fully manifest in the ideal person in an ideal world, and that being said, who would that be and where would that be located? Our church and our world has a lot of work to do!

No wonder so many of them are on antidepressants. And even if they do all these things, they believe they'll have to share their husbands in the CK.

Stepford Wives, Disney Princesses and Molly Mormons all rolled into one.

Eeegads--I just pulled the "As for me and my house....serve the lOrd" picture off the wall. Now I have to find something quick to cover the hole underneath that my son put there when he put his fist through the wall." It is complicated being post-mo. The laundry will NEVER EVER be done and folded though, so that keeps me in the sane category!

The list needed one more category:

Mental State

Cognitive Difficulties
Arrives at destination without knowing how she got there
Difficulty sleeping
Difficulty concentrating
Is quietly going out of her mind (so as not to bother anyone)

I encountered a religious woman at the Albertson's the other day whose face looked like it couldn't smile any wider or harder than it already was. She started to sing the happy face turn your frown upside down song when the lady standing in line in front of me indicated to smiley face lady that she had been working too long. Smiley face lady did indicate that it was her friday. I just felt to me that smiley face lady really needed to drop the F bomb.

you forgot

has no idea what she likes or who she is.
has tons of kids and didn't enjoy making them because sex is icky and bad.
Can't make any decisions without consulting her priesthood holder
Takes tons of anti-depressants.
Thinks other women who have bare shoulders are whores
Thinks tattoo's are the sure sign of the devil


Still has to share husband in the CK, probably with one of those bare shoulder devil worshiping tattooed whores. Those sister wives however will like to have sex and tons of it without the babies.

How could that be done without drugs?

She takes anti depressants,
But will not talk to a counselor about her issues
Her bishop knows more about her than her spouse does
She thinks she's a bad person/yet not
Feels guilty if she buys something nice for herself
Secretly hates garments, but is terrified to not wear them
Has never had a friend that wasn't mormon
Vacations revolve around temple trips
Never tasted coffee, or alcohol.
Often takes No Doz during the day
Sex disgusts her, secretly resents her husband for wanting it.
Has secretly wondered what it would feel like to run away
Hates her mother, but calls her everyday.
Resents her kids for being needy.
Has 3 callings
Lives her entire life for the day she dies

I'm not gonna qualify. I locked my cape in the closet and went to Starbucks for a triple latte.

In the physical characteristics I notice that there is "no such thing" listed.
That made me laugh!

Crap. I don't cross stitch.
No wait. I just admitted a mistake and don't have to be perfect. That's on there. I win AGAIN!
Oh. I'm no longer LDS. Fail.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2013 05:04PM by snuckafoodberry.

The list might work for "common" folk Mormons, but the upper crust require of a wife:

Is descended from Mormon pioneers on both sides of the family, so she can look down on converts.

Is related to multiple GA's and/or their wives.

This woman is DEAD!!!

And No one can remember anthing about her, so they MADE it all UP!!!

I've never cross stitched, crochet'd, knitted, or played a musical instrument. I've also never had a perfectly clean house or been caught up on the laundry. To make matters even worse I never had mormon art in my house and I've been known to swear like a sailor, even in front of my kids.

I hate quilting, and never took up tole painting, my kids often didn't get their homework done, and their grades suffered accordingly (they still turned out ok). I often vented to my friends, and my husband had no clue what I was thinking. I sometimes yelled at my kids, never grew zucchini, and hated kid parties.

I was a STAHM, but had a full time florist business that I ran out of my house. I didn't live close to my family, Thank-God. I'm not very patient, and i've never been accused of being organized.

I know how to can, make bread, and jam. But I don't because I hate doing those things. I only bake cookies because I haven't found a commercial bakery that makes them as good. I only made breakfast on weekends, but usually made dinner. We lived a long way from any good restaurants.

I hated reading scriptures, never had FHE, and never did VT. So, as you can see I was destined to become an apostate. I only wish i'd done it much much earlier in my life.

That kind of list, strangely, was what attracted me to TSCC, except for the doctrine and church stuff. I really, really wanted to be Molly, and have to say, even single was pretty darned good at it. Sigh. Too bad it's a flipping mind control machine.

They forgot - puts out for her husband whenever he wants so he doesn't masturbate and lose his priesthood magic.

Every Mormon woman should be telling her husband to make friends with Rosey Palm and her 5 friends.

With all those kids, she needs a break!

It is actually getting to be such a big joke around Utah--having a STAR.

I had to quit reading the list. It was making me sick.

I do sing in the car--to my dogs, their own songs I made up.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/09/2013 01:54PM by cl2.

They had to have left something off! Because, you are never enough in the mormon church!

Just had to come back and add! GOOD LORD HAVE MERCY! No wonder I left the church! How about if we just all be ourselves from now on! Pfffttt!

Yeah, like making lunch. They're starting to go soft on the women.

No wonder they're all taking Prozac in Utah.

Seriously had a friend like this in college. She strived so hard to be a perfect mormon and always keep a bubbly attitude when she should have just had a good cry. She ended up having a nervous breakdown and I caught her drawing all over her face with eyeliner in the bathroom while wearing a crown and crying. She got on anti depressants after that and she was back to her happy "all is perfect" mentality. So so sad really.

LOL. I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh but I love the visual

I think it's funny too, as messed up as it is!

When that PBS show "The Mormons" came out, I knew a few people who took great offense when some people complained about the perfectionism expected of women.

Now we have the 178 page master thesis.

Funny how perfectionism also requires putting yourself down now and then - "Doesn't have to be perfect / admits mistakes".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2014 01:12PM by crom.

wow... I never say that list personified! Some of it is part of the culture in the religion, but it sure wasn't me! :-) I was a convert so I came into it from a totally different experience and perspective.

or just simply put: "A perfect Mormon Woman is a Programable Robot" aka "Stepford Wife"!

That list sounds
like a really really dull companion.

The problem with the list isn't that it's too hard to do. It's that where it's important, it's too vague; and where it's clear, it's too easy, pointlessly so.

First, all the big, important words are too vague. Courageous? Like, how does she show courage? Courage is standing up to some kind of tangible threat. The only real threat she'll ever face is the jealousy of her co-religionists.

Like, when she's being both compassionate and non-judgmental, does she stand up to the others in the ward and say, "You know, it's only fair that Utah should let the same-sex people who've already married get their new married drivers licenses. They were legally married, after all." Is that what this list means by courageous, non-judgmental, and compassionate? Because none of those big, important words are encompassed by "doing what you're told," or keeping your mouth shut and "going along to get along" when someone else is being a judgmental, self-serving, coward.

The rest of this list, gardening, cooking, cleaning, crafting, driving kids around, organizing homework, making the kids gather and study scripture, can be very self-absorbed, self-centered activities. Any seriously competent, competitive woman can do this stuff. It's really not that hard. It might be hard working full-time, or being a single-mom; but that's not what's expected here.

The list is like those bucket lists that make it seem that all that's required for a happy life is that you visit all of the wonders of the world. The real goals in life are fulfilling human relationships, not a full travel itinerary.

The same with this list. It focuses on minor good, while ignoring major good, or even the intent behind the actions. It's much more significant for a wife to make bread for her husband because she loves him, than for her to make bread to show up the neighbor down the street, or to prove her bona fides so as to suck up to the vipers in the ward. But the statement, "I made bread," is exactly the same in either case.

To say, "I no longer believe," and to let the chips fall where they may. That's courage. But it's not what this list's about. This list's easy compared to what ordinary people on this forum confront just trying to be honest with themselves and their loved ones.

"Explores her talents and takes her own lessons in between running her kids around"

A mormon woman would never be so self-centered to do something for herself. She only exists to serve and obey her husband and raise her children in righteouness.

A mormon woman with interests is a feminist intellectual and deserves to be gossiped about.