I struggle with anxiety pretty much all day everyday. A million thoughts run through my head from money to some sort of terrible accident or catastrophe happening to me or my family. Although I don't believe the things that I was taught in church. I can't seem to get rid of the thoughts that something bad is going to happen to me because I'm not doing things the way I'm suppose to.

I have been taking some herbal remedies and it seems to help take the edge off. We don't have any kind of insurance now so it's the best I can do for now.

Do any of you suffer from anxiety and how do you deal with it?

I don't know if this will be helpful for you or not - here's how I talk myself down when I am feeling anxious:

I recognize that I am worrying about all the possible bad things that could go wrong.

Maybe bad thing A will happen.
Maybe bad thing B will happen.
Maybe bad thing C will happen.
Maybe bad thing D will happen.
Maybe bad thing E will happen.

So then I find I am worrying that A + B + c + D + E will happen. The weight of worrying about all those things that could happen can really stress me out.

But then I recognize - there is no possible way all of those are going to happen. In fact often, if bad thing A happens bad thing B could never happen.

So then I try to recognize that I am worrying about all these coulds happens and that I am carrying the stress and weight of all of them. For me it helps to think of the worst case scenario - I usually realize - even if that happens I will be OK - I wouldn't like it and could get through it.

So if I can handle the worst case scenario that almost certainly won't happen then I can handle any other scenario that might happen because it won't be as bad as the first.

----

If I am really feeling stressed an anxious it can help to sit down and write out the things I am worried about - kind of like a todo list, but a stress list. It helps me process them and let them go.

---

I find that the serenity prayer has much wisdom in it:
Give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

You might enjoy the movie Dharma Brothers on Netflix.

A nonprofit group took Vipassana meditation into the harshest of the harsh prisons. It had phenomenal results.

If you think meditation is kooky or too agey for you, well that's what I thought too, especially being a secular humanist. Let me cut straight to the chase and clue you on how meditation can help you.

It has many levels and is a tool used in different ways for different purposes, but focusing on just helping you with anxiety,

Meditation is a way of conditioning your body to relax based upon the clue of your thoughts turning to a specific part of your body, like your breath in your nose. It is no more New Age or religious than training pigeons to peck and get a food reward. And it is as reliable as those dogs who salivated when they heard the bell ringing that preceded Pavlov bringing the food.

I started meditating to become a more compassionate person and the anxiety relief turned out to be a very pleasant surprise side effect. It was effective on both counts, although I consider myself still at the beginning of what I look forward to as a lifetime of awakening to the truths about my own life contained in Buddhist psychology (again, not the religion)

The body relaxation trick has helped me with addictions, which for me has been food/Thrift stores/book buying. I discovered that it was anxiety which drove me to the fast food line or to the Goodwill (when I couldn't afford to spend any money). By closing my eyes and going to my center, which I learned in meditation, the anxious feeling left and I didn't need the self-soothing of my addiction.

Mormonism increases anxiety through the brainwashing that without the church, you would be the face of Dorian Gray--your self-control would no longer be there and you would be rolling in porn and beer bottles, while smoking a cigarette in one hand and a blunt in the other.

You are actually a mighty fine person who wanted to serve the Lord, even if it meant giving up a lot of money and following a lot of weird rules. This is not a bad person's decision.

You are facing a life ahead of you which you own and control. You are never going to get called into the "principal's" office again and scolded like you were twelve years old and didn't turn in your homework.

"How are you going to get into college/the Celestial Kingdom with this kind of performance?

There is natural tension in a transition of this magnitude. Hopefully, you recognizing its source as having guilt planted since you were three years old "Teach me all that I must do to be with Him some day...."

If you are a God-believer, then you might notice that he made you with a brain and a conscience, fully intending you to use them to lead your own life. He did not make you flawed.

You are taking back your life and I am quite certain that if he exists, he is clapping his hands, if he has some.

Hugs

Anagrammy

I have wanted to try meditation. I'm not sure how to do it though. I guess I could google it and go from there. In all honesty I have this big idea in my head that I need a fancy room and oils and candles lol

http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1376513553&sr=8-1&keywords=optimism

That book has helped me in the past. Constantly cycling through anxious scenarios reinforces the anxiety and paralyzes a person.

Distracting yourself from the constant worrying is a must. The worrying is useless and creates harm. It helped me to personify the boogyman in my head constantly trying to scare me and literally at times laughing it off.

Fear likes nothing better than to be taken seriously. That's how it takes root and grows. A sense of humor can break the mental tension, and the literal insanity of anxious thoughts. Distraction is also a good technique. Note the times of when you're not anxious and what you were doing at those times. If it involved focusing on something, use that as a means to distract yourself.

If you have nothing that distracts you like that, find something. Anxiety creates reinforcing patterns of thought and the only way to break away is by deliberately breaking those thought patterns.

I took Citalopram for a year and a half and it helped with my anxiety. Stopped taking it a week ago. So far, so good. Still crossing my fingers it will stay away.

Ah, anxiety, my constant companion. It's my only inheritance, along with my agoraphobia. I see a psychiatrist and have to pay $110 per visit, because I'm not insured for it. I pay full price for my medication too. Professional help probably saved my life. I recommend it.

I try to "find the lie" in what I'm thinking, the part that is not guaranteed to happen, and change the thought that is circling in my head. Paper and pencil helps. I've been keeping a mental track record and NONE of the ugly things I worry about has EVER happened in the way I imaganed. And, just this week, I got slammed with something I in no way anticipated. I completely agree that the way out is to break the thought patterns. Be patient. I have been working on "trap neuter release" for a loooong time. Works for my thoughts as well as the feral cats!

Thanks for all the suggestions. I try some of your suggestions. The funny thing is sometimes I don't even know what thought is causing the to have anxiety, like there is no particular thought just like a mess of things swarming in my head.

Breathe. Take control of your breathing. That's all I know.

I realize that not a soul on this board can relate to the story I'm about to tell. OK, here goes . . . I feel crippling anxiety during hurricanes. My first major hurricane happened when I was only 5 near Miami, FL. We were just a couple of blocks from the ocean and I will never forget the devastation from that category 4 (5?) hurricane.

As I've grown up in Florida and New Orleans, I've experienced at least the outer bands of every recent major hurricane - Andrew, Katrina etc.

One year, we got hit here with 3 back-to-back hurricanes in Northern Florida. My husband is in the medical field and he is considrered "essential" personnel. Which means that he *LEAVES ME BEHIND* with a houseful of kids overnight while the g-d@mn hurricanes rage outside my home.

ANXIETY. ANXIETY. ANXIETY!!!!!!! omfg.

Especially because, during that particular year of triple hurricanes, I had brand-new orphans freshly adopted from Russia. Did they even KNOW what a hurricane was? Hell and Nooooooooo.

I remember the sheer panic/anxiety I felt all night long as the storm raged. I literally felt like I couldn't breathe. So that's what I did. Breathe. All night. Breathe. Rhythmically. Slowly. Patiently.

The minute I felt the panic rising, I forced myself to breathe . . . at least until the next tree branch slammed into the roof. heh.

Literally, that's the answer. Breathe, darlin'. Good luck.

;o)

Oh anxiety, my constant companion...

What works for me is

Citalopram (love my happy pills)
Relaxation
Guided meditation
Breathing exercises

I can't bear making lists as there are too many stresses/ things to do and I get so swamped and my anxiety rises
So... I will do a few easy, gentle things I have to do and then start a list, putting these on them and ticking them off ha
Works for me

Find what works for you, loads of great advice in this thread
And always remember
To be kind to yourself

I too suffer with anxiety. I use meditation and relaxation techniques and also, on the advice of my doctor, a mild medication. All of these have made my life SO much better. I recently told my doctor that I felt I could go off the medication. She sent me home with a LOT of reading and various sites to look up. Heh heh, she knows me well! She said that after researching it all, if I wanted to go off the medication she would take me off. But in her professional opinion I was better to stay on it.

The upshot was that with my family history, I am FAR better staying on it, so I am feeling happy and calm!!!!!

I sympathize with you, it is an awful illness to deal with. Take care, and do what you need to do to be well. My best wishes to you!

Thank all of you. It means so much to me that you all took the time to reach out and help me. I have a lot of reading to do I hope I can beat this because this shit sucks!

The Anxiety and Phobia workbook - recommended by rfm, was helpful for me. Highly recommend it.

Great posts so far. Just wanted to say - I found for me, my anxiety was a sign that my life was out of control. I needed to make changes and recognize a lot of stuff that was going on (some of it I could change). So usually, my anxiety was my body trying to tell me something. For me, through professional help, meds and the workbook (among other things) I was able to figure out what was best for me. I made some requests and set some boundaries. I made changes. It took time, and I had to get the symptoms under control first. But I had to work on all of it - I think just taking medication is not necessarily enough (in my experience).

I strongly suspect many mormons/former mormons face anxiety for this reason. We are taught (from a very young age) to ignore our feelings, and to deny what we're feeling (if it's different from the party line). Even people who've left the LDS church a long time ago - it doesn't mean some of these skills have been unlearned. Best of luck to you.

My anxiety is the nebulous kind too, not always sure why...
Well turns out my stomach doesn't just get butterflies because of the anxiety I feel, sometimes it is causing the anxiety!
Corn turned out to be a major anxiety trigger, so I don't eat that anymore. The thing that helps the most currently is daily probiotics, specifically b longum and b infantis.
You can even google them and their effects on anxiety, there are scientific papers that back them up! And, you can buy them over the counter in health/vitamin stores that have a large enough selection of products.

My stomach is always a wreck. I have been taking Fennel and that seems to help a little. I am going to try the probiotics you mentioned and see if that helps more.

I finally did some meditation this morning! I downloaded an app on my phone and did it for 15 min before I got ready for work. OMG I seriously cannot believe the difference it made! I know I am going to do it every morning and maybe at lunch break. You guys have got to try it man it's unbelievably incredible! Now if I can get my husband to try it :)

Thanks again for all the suggestions!

Much love!

Ginger, peppermint(even mint gum), and hot teas also soothe the stomach. Herbal or caffeinated if it doesn't make your anxiety worse. I had to drastically reduce my caffeine intake, even though coffee is such a delicious "antimormon" thing to drink.

I have been through two nervous breakdowns since leaving the church. Both times I have suffered with out of control anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I went to a therapist the first time, and that seemed to help, even though I didn't really like the therapist that much. After four months, I quit.

Almost 2 years later and I'm back in therapy with a different therapist, for another breakdown. Both times there was an event that triggered it. The anxiety is suffocating, almost unbearable, hence the suicidal thoughts. It starts to feel as though its just the way life is going to be from now on, and that's such an unpleasant prospect that it would seem better to cease existing.

I have gained some valuable insights during this time so perhaps there's a reason for it. I'd like to think so.

Anyway, I feel for you, and with you, for I know first hand what a truly dark place it can be. The outside world and life goes on around you and seems fine, but your world is a dark and scary and unhappy one when you are in the midst of anxiety.

I'm wondering about the food connection, for I get a strange thing going on in my gut when I'm anxious, and like Winks said, maybe the causation goes both ways. I want to explore that avenue.

Greg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have been through two nervous breakdowns since
> leaving the church. Both times I have suffered
> with out of control anxiety, depression, and
> suicidal thoughts. I went to a therapist the
> first time, and that seemed to help, even though I
> didn't really like the therapist that much. After
> four months, I quit.
>
> Almost 2 years later and I'm back in therapy with
> a different therapist, for another breakdown.
> Both times there was an event that triggered it.
> The anxiety is suffocating, almost unbearable,
> hence the suicidal thoughts. It starts to feel as
> though its just the way life is going to be from
> now on, and that's such an unpleasant prospect
> that it would seem better to cease existing.
>
> I have gained some valuable insights during this
> time so perhaps there's a reason for it. I'd like
> to think so.
>
> Anyway, I feel for you, and with you, for I know
> first hand what a truly dark place it can be. The
> outside world and life goes on around you and
> seems fine, but your world is a dark and scary and
> unhappy one when you are in the midst of anxiety.
>
>
> I'm wondering about the food connection, for I get
> a strange thing going on in my gut when I'm
> anxious, and like Winks said, maybe the causation
> goes both ways. I want to explore that avenue.

I have at times been suicidal because of anxiety. It's seems strange to me that anxiety and not depression can cause suicidal feelings. You are exactly right about how the world and life is just going on and you feel like your in this out of control scary place, that you don't want to be in and you don't know how to escape.

Anxiety and depression are deeply routed in my family and programmed into my DNA. What has helped me most was to find a passionate hobby that has no significance to my life or self worth (this is kind of a conflicting statement, but if I care too much about the hobby, it adds too rather than detracts from my anxiety levels). When I engage in it I can focus purely on that and my mind gets a break from anxiety for a few hours. For me, being able to take a break from troubling thoughts makes them manageable for the rest of the day/week. The more I engage in unhealthy "stewing," as I call it, the more time I spend on my hobby. The trick for me was to find that one thing that entertains my mind and body, and then recognizing the physical symptoms that anxiety and depression bring. It's never perfect, but can be managed (at least for me at this time in my life). I often ask my partner how I'm doing and her happiness and attitude is often the best indicator to my anxiety level (ironic, yes). I also find a pet really helps. Humans are wonderful, but there is nothing like the unconditional love of a K9 friend. I'm a complete introvert too, so my hobby is not a heavy social activity. This is what works for me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2013 01:04PM by fudley.

I have suffered moments of anxiety, depression, anguish.
They were strongest after coming back from the mission.
Now that I've left TSCC, I have them much less.

Things that have helped for me...
-not eating things that have sugar (except for the natural sugar of fruits and some honey)
-drinking green smoothies have helped me a lot too
-breathing,
-listening to music that will help change my mood
-trying to listen to or read something funny everyday to keep my mind in a up-beat frame
-I have also strongly talked back to my anxieties in a
"go to h.e.l.l" sort of way.

I hope you can find the things that can help you and that you'll feel better soon.