I need to laugh this off, but I am having trouble.

My very TBM ex flew half way across the country this morning to attend a temple session. Why? Because he has never seen THAT temple before and he has a goal to add five more new temple "notches" to his belt by the end of the year.

Now why can't I just concede that this is his fixation, similar to someone who is compelled to ride every major roller coaster in the country? Or someone who ___________ (fill in the blank)

What business is it of mine how he spends his time and money?
Somebody please slap me. Hard.

My apologies to anyone who loves roller coasters. At least you're having fun..

Wait 'til he finds out that it's all a sham. He'll feel like he wasted a lot of time and money.

Ah,BWB, I doubt that he will allow himself to find out that it's a sham. He has too much invested.

If I believed in any afterlife I could assume that he would know then, but I don't.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Budweiserbaby's idea should cheer you up!

Oh yeah, this sort of thing is quite common among Mormons. I know a man who brags that he's been in every temple in the world. (He's wealthy). I just think of all the more worthwhile things he could be doing, with his family, instead of alone. I wonder if this is partly why his children are all out of TSCC.

The SLC-based company my son works for gives the employees a fabulous trip to some exotic location every year. The Mormons always want to see the temple, wherever they are, and usually spend an entire day doing this. I was planning a weekend trip with some friends, back to our high school reunion in our hometown, until they included a day at the temple in the itinerary. I told them I decided to go alone, in order to visit more relatives. One whole day out of three in a windowless building doing rituals for dead people? There's no talking allowed, so why go together?

I know some old couples who have set a goal of four missions. My TBM cousin set a goal of 12 children. After #11, three babies died, before they finally got the 12th. She got nip-tuck surgery, and looks great, with a permanent smile and blank eyes. A TBM neighbor bragged in testimony meeting that she had made a goal to run 60 marathons before she turned 60.

Maybe the roller coaster fun could be shared with others, along the way. But people invent selfish goals, IMO, so they can BRAG.

I think it is bad luck to reveal your goals to others. Maybe I'm paranoid, because I grew up in a cruel, dysfunctional Mormon family, who would hold these goals over my head. For example, "You will never get married if you are this picky." or "What makes you think you can compete in a man's world?" or "Are you crazy?"

Emerson and other thinkers believe that it is healthy to reach a little bit out of your grasp, and set your goals a little above your ability, because you will grow to meet them. I set mine extremely high, and I'm 95% there, and I'm still working hard. My children have benefitted from this. I would hesitate to set a goal that would involve the sacrifice of others, but that's what makes goals personal.

<<I know a man who brags that he's been in every temple in the world. (He's wealthy).>>

So not only did his church squander billions of dollars on fancy buildings instead of helping people, but this guy squandered tens of thousands of dollars to visit each one just to say he did it!

Yep, sounds like Jesus' true church to me!

Or do you just know about it because of normal interactions when exchanging kids?

Because I don't want to pass judgment unfairly, but it kind of sounds like he's trying to prove how spiritual he is. Or maybe it's like the people who brag about their fancy vacations. Aren't you glad he's your EX?

Or someone who wants to visit every state in the U.S.

You know you are right that you need a slap, of course. He is your ex so it no longer matters or is your business what he does. But that is easier said than done - I have the same experiences with my ex when I watch her do stupid stuff - especially TBM stupid stuff.

Just be glad you aren't tied up in it I guess? At least he is wasting his time and money and not yours. But abject stupidity is always hard to feel comfortable with especially with someone you used to be tied to.

It almost sounds like he is compensating for your apostasy by being zealous, but I don't know your story at all, so who knows.

Oh ya. People do try to go to as many temples as possible, also some take a very strong interest in LDS history.

It's a bit of a hobby, I think, or a bucket list.

So many hobbies, so little time! :-)

OK. I'm over it now. Thanks everyone.

@imaworkinonit and oncoming storm: YES, I'm so glad I'm out of it and yes, he brags about temple "work" at family functions (where our kids just roll their eyes)

@SusieQ: If someone took a strong interest in history, wouldn't they leave?

Our kids are all grown, married, and have their own families. I think when something like this strikes an old nerve in me, it's because I see one of my kids hurting. You see, he had my daughter drive him to the airport, but she mentioned later to me that he never comes to just spend time with her little one even for a few hours.

notyersister Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OK. I'm over it now. Thanks everyone.
>
> @imaworkinonit and oncoming storm: YES, I'm so
> glad I'm out of it and yes, he brags about temple
> "work" at family functions (where our kids just
> roll their eyes)
>
> @SusieQ: If someone took a strong interest in
> history, wouldn't they leave?
>
> Our kids are all grown, married, and have their
> own families. I think when something like this
> strikes an old nerve in me, it's because I see one
> of my kids hurting. You see, he had my daughter
> drive him to the airport, but she mentioned later
> to me that he never comes to just spend time with
> her little one even for a few hours.


In response to your question directed at me.
I have read books on LDS History and shared my conclusions with a believer/s whose testimony weathers the storm!

The interesting thing about a testimony is that it is very often based on a "spiritual witness" that is all powerful. In that case: Nothing shakes it.

Visions, supernatural, metaphysical claims are believed as if they are factual.
For instance, when a believer has a vision of a pear falling off of an apple tree, in their mind, it really happened. No question.
Visions are facts in their minds.

For so many the beliefs are just as ingrained as other religious believers - no matter the religion, some of which are ancient. They go to their grave without an ounce of question or doubt.

In the case of a "spiritual-eye" claim - it is accepted by believers as factual evidence.

This is so powerful that there never needed to be any actual golden plates. Claiming a "spiritual eye" experience of "seeing" them is the spiritual witness that is sufficient for a testimony.

Remember that there is a teaching in Mormonism that if your testimony is weak, you can rely on the stronger testimony of another believer.

What I notice that many forget is that religious claims are believed by faith which is more substantial and powerful than actual factual evidences.

Once someone is seen as a prophet, such as Joseph Smith Jr, was to many (some, not so much), everything he claimed he translated by the gift of God is accepted as fact, even though, it's best understood as symbolic not factual.

A little study of other religions (with or without a deity or savior) shows the same pattern of beliefs especially those with a much longer history - centuries. Millions of believers follow the teachings of other religions for centuries, particularly those with Eastern roots.

So, in conclusion: a study of the history of Mormonism very often solidifies the generational, traditional belief in the visions, supernatural, metaphysical claims. It's one of the things that makes us human: belief in angels, deities, saviors, and other notions of higher power.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2013 02:29PM by SusieQ#1.

Thanks, Susie for taking the time to explain your thoughts on this. It is becoming apparent to me that people on this board are all very generous-natured and kind.

May I just say that by "the study of history" I'm referring to actual factual evidence. If a Mormon uses the term "history" to refer to the places and landmarks tied to the traditional Mormon stories of the origins and evolution of their movement, then I think that WOULD tend to solidify their belief in the supernatural claims of their religion.

And may I gently reject the idea that one of the things that makes us human is a belief in angels,etc. I think that what may be more significant is the ability to reason.

Yeah the people who know the facts and yet keep believing perplex me more than those who don't have the information - dealing with that level of cognitive dissidence would require some major mental gymnastics.

You may find this article interesting: http://www.michaelshermer.com/weird-things/excerpt/

Thanks, OStorm. Looks interesting. I'll read it tonight.

I used to be very proud of my 15 temple count, 18 counting those I visited by didn't go into. My consolation is that I would visit a temple in the evening on a business trip, I never made a trip specifically to visit a temple.

Back in the late 70s/early 80's I attended all the temples in the western U.S. Later, the McTemples started showing up; not only were there too many of them, but they weren't special, and my interest in mormonism by then had dropped significantly. ( I have toured a couple of them, though.)

Now on my bucket list is to attend all the Pac-12 football stadiums. Lots more fun, and I get to actually experience the local area instead of gesturing to kill myself.

Look at it this way -- you would be even more unhappy about it if you were still married to him.