I was convinced that every good turn in my life was owed to being a faithful TBM. Including paying tithing. As I became increasingly stressed-out, disillusioned, and confused about all things church related, I started backing off on my devotion to the church.

I was REALLY worried, backing off on my tithing, that my whole life would fall apart.

But it didn't fall apart any more than it always had been. We're always in a state of finding balance, and giving myself a 10% raise did not make my life fall apart.

Yay!

Freedom from being brainwashed.

...then I realized the pain in my soul that I could never shake as a TBM had to take precidence and I took the plunge out to save myself. It was then that I saw the smoke screen for what it is. Keeping control of all your money is one of the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.

Joe Smith knew that. Years ago I read a quote from him (and I've been searching for it ever since) that basically said..."separate a man from his purse and you've got him for life".

It's all a major scam.

I withheld my tithing for several months because I was not sure what I wanted to do. When I finally figured out the church was BS, the last thing I wanted to do was hand over my bank account to them.

I saw what they were doing with my money and would rather burn it than give it to them.

yes! I was very worried about it, which is why it was one of the last things I gave up. I was still paying tithing for a year while I was inactive. I was also still wearing my garments.

Those two things were the most difficult to give up, because I was TERRIFIED of the consequences.

Turns out, my life is pretty great without those things, too :)

Man, I'm an awful parent.

We stopped paying tithing because there was no other way for oldest to go to college. We should have put him FIRST before then.

I found out my gay husband was cheating on me. We knew of a psychiatrist in SLC that was supposed to be good at handling this issue--so we went to him and paid out of pocket. He was an a$$, but that is when we quit paying. We couldn't afford to go to a psychiatrist out of pocket and pay tithing.

When you are in THAT MIND TRAP of you have to save your gay husband, not paying tithing is a big leap. Nothing bad happened--well our marriage ended. THAT WAS WHY of course because we stopped paying tithing!?!?!?

I haven't paid since then. My kids were 6 years old. They will be 28 in November. I did worry. I've had good and bad things happen over those years, just like my faithful sister has who pays her tithing.

Oh, and then there is my brother who has never paid tithing in his life--he earns A LOT of money and he only has a GED.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/22/2013 01:23PM by cl2.

I worried at first. Then I got a new job and my pay jumped significantly. Then a bit later my job gave me a substantial raise. And now I am about to shift to a significantly better paying job. So, considering my finances and health have been better AFTER I stopped paying tithing, I stopped worrying about the punishment very quickly.

This is very similar to what happened to me: I found out the church was garbage, went inactive, stopped paying tithing and then resigned within a few months. Right after I sent in my letter, I got promoted and a substantial raise.

Plus, it is fun to count all the cool things I have bought with my extra 10%.

ONE of the many reasons that I left the cult was that I do not believe that God punishes us. I just do not.

Also, I could NEVER pay enough money to afford my sins... just saying!

Ditto what newatthis wrote. But it did take me a year to stop worrying. Still wear my garments even without a recommend. Temple issues are still there. I guess because I went through pre 1990.

Allegro, I understand that recovery takes time. When you're ready, please be assured as many have demonstrated before us that releasing yourself from the so-called temple covenants will result in no bloodshed. Only freedom.

I quit paying tithing in extreme fear, but complete desperation in 1991. I didn’t dump church and garments until 2005. I had a pretty tenuous testimony as well. That fear…powerful stuff. I still suffer from feeling like I’m somehow being punished. Life has been picking on me pretty hard for a while. I consider myself a stone cold atheist. I just don’t think humans are terribly logical creatures.

Not at all. I guess I never really associated blessings with paying tithing...never expected blessings for paying it. I saw it as a requirement to keep a temple recommend, and once I realized that the temple had nothing to offer and that I wouldn't be returning, I stopped paying tithing immediately. I haven't regretted it yet. I'm sure I'll lose a job or something at some point and my TBM family will blame it on not paying tithing...that's the only thing I worry about...

I never associated tithing with blessings. I just saw tithing as the dues you paid to be a member. In fact, I never expected earthly blessings from being Mormon, just celestial ones.

I would go months without paying and then pay all at once. The last 8 months I was a member, I kept "forgetting to pay". I kept track of how much I owed, but couldn't bring myself to write a check. I think I knew there were issues, so I compromised by waiting to see what I wanted to do.

When I finally decided to quit, I mentally cancelled the bill and just kept the money.

I have a very close friend who is retired and has not been to church in years, swears, drinks, I never though he was ever a member. When I told him I resigned, he told me he does not believe but still pays tithing because "things just seem to work better..." I asked for details, but he couldn't explain. Bish invites him to church, tithing settlement, and he declines all invitations from TSCC. I am still puzzled by this, and don't have an answer why he feels it helps, but if he believes it, maybe for his life it is true.

As for me, I stopped, and nothing "bad" has happened. I recall that even TSCC claims that "god" does not punish you, but you do miss out on blessings. So far, the only blessings I can consider "missing" are attending the temple...and I don't miss that at all.

I have stopped making excuses when things happening in my life for good or bad. When the car breaks down now, it is not "god punishing me", but the realization that the car is old, has a lot of miles on it, and bound to need repair sooner or later.

I have started taking responsibility for my own life and quit blaming/crediting "god" for everything that happens in my life, and now focus on overcomming negative things, and being happy/grateful when positive things happen. I believe this is a much more healthy and active attitude rather than thinking things happen because some being from "kolob" controls my life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/22/2013 01:55PM by magnite.

I have been blessed with a wonderful wife and family and never paid the cult a cent....so tithing would definately been a waste of my hard earned cash.

Ron Burr

I was worried while I paid, once I decided to stop, I was on to their fear-mongering. I tell you a 10% raise and a clear head about finances is about the best thing.

I worried for a few weeks because my husband convinced me to stop paying tithing several weeks before I discovered the truth about TSCC. My husband always hated that I tithed my income. I agreed to stop when we were looking at our finances for the upcoming year and we just couldn't do it. Since leaving TSCC and stopping the payment of tithing, I got a promotion at work. I also got a decent bonus When hardly anyone got one this year (they had to do something to keep me happy because I did two jobs for 8 months until we were able to find a good person to hire).

It took me about a week and a half to lose the garments. My husband will still occasionally wear his garment tops as an undershirt. At first it bothered me because we no longer believed and I didn't want to have anything to do with garments or the temple again. Now I realize that he just sees it as a shirt and it doesn't matter if he wears it or not. If my TBM family knew he still wore the garment tops on occasion, they would be royally offended!

Funny you should ask that, because the blessings came pouring in the instant I stopped paying tithing. We had three foreign family holidays that year and bought a house. I have a very strong testimony of not paying tithing.

I never believed this because I was a convert and knew that good and bad happen to all people all the time, regardless of outside factors.
My husband's TBM parents continue to say things like this. It's so disingenuous of TBMs to continue to promote this idea. It's just false.

Additionally, even if it were true, isn't that the wrong reason to pay tithing anyway? It's not supposed to be for selfish reasons....

I know for certain sure that my husband and I have been very blessed by not paying tithing.

Since we stopped he got a promotion that doubled his pay. He also has received a bonus every year that is equal to his yearly paycheck.

We bought the house of our dreams, a new Benz, a boat, and are finally taking vacations like normal people do.

I will never pay tithing again. It kept us down for years.

No. The tithing aspect of it all did not cross my mind at all. I was more concern with not losing the "guidance of the spirit", you know, "What would be the light guiding me if I left tscc?".

That's an easy one. No. I was never concerned about blessings, but my husband was not happy with agreeing .... at first. But I reminded him.

No. I Never received blessings when paying tithing.

Thanks Lenina, That is why I came back here. It is the only thing I have held onto. Extremely difficult to let go and angry at myself I haven't yet.

First thing out of my wife's mouth when I told her I wasn't going to pay tithing: "But, you might lose your job if you stop paying tithing." My response:"No-one at my company cares whether or not I pay tithing. Besides, if I do lose my job, then we'll have 10% more in our bank account to take care of ourselves until I find another job."
I have to admit, I worried about that too, for some time until I realized it was superstitious thinking. So I had my response all ready for her.

I was generally casual about paying tithing.

When I'd decide to start paying consistently and wrote the first check, I'd get hit with some sort of financial catastrophe.

I'm a slow learner and after a few episodes of this cause and effect, I began to think what kind of blessings are these? Why is HF throwing me these curve balls to reward my good intentions?

I stopped playing that game.

This reminds me of a time when I was playing housewife with my husband (now ex) and two tiny children, all on husband's solo income. I encouraged him to start paying tithing because I think the church had been preaching about it a lot. And I was so certain & hopeful that our life would turn to roses if we followed every precept of the church.

No, it broke us. But the church had our backs. Our new grocery store became the bishop's storehouse, just a one hour drive away :-) (sarcastic happiness).

Surely you jest!!

I was so worried that my husband might lose his job. Instead he received a pay rise two months later! Not paying tithing has helped us buy a much nicer house so I'm not seeing any lost "blessings".

Initially I also worried that our house would burn down because I had some "anti-Mormon" literature. I made sure every single electrical appliance was turned off before I left the house.

No. I stopped paying tithing after they built the 'great & spacious building' AKA the new conference centre and then the shopping mall.

I figured if the church had that much surplus money they could spend it on frills like a bigger centre when the old one could do just fine- as everyone had TV's from which they could watch conference- then I was justified in keeping my money for my life. They didn't need it as much as I did!!

Around that time dh decided to go back to school so most of the money we were living on was student loans and RRSP money. The rrsp money (Canadian equivalent of 401k) hadn't been tithed first, so should have been tithed before we spent it, but I didn't. We were still semi active at this time. I was pregnant and sick, so my church attendance was sporadic, but dh went regularly.

Then a few yrs later I found the church wasn't true anyway, so never went back to paying tithing.

When I was a teen, I heard a testimony from a man who basically said that since they had stopped paying tithing, he had lost his job! That's what he believed.

yes

Bt the time I stopped paying I had lost the belief that it brought personal blessings. I had payed for some time just rationalizing that it "went for a good cause." (foolish me!)

When I stopped paying, I rationally knew that would have no ill effect, but the conditioning would sometimes bring a thought back that it might. Indoctrination is a pretty powerful tool.

The anger, pain, fear, sadness... Of what I hadn't known or of the lies.

Mine was actually taking off the garments. I even went through the ritual of cutting out the markings and burning them and then cutting up them. I was pre-90's endowed, but left in 96 (so I justified, the penalties were no longer valid).

Then listened to "Kansas--Wayward Son" it was my hymn for almost a day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SF6vFPf2xg

I had started saving my tithing into one account for payment at the end of the year. Saved my azz when we had a financial crisis. Wished I hadn't tried paying it all back. Bishop said as long as I was good from that point on it was forgiven. It was so much money!