Hello everyone.

I've been reading some of the stories here, and wanted to post my own as well.

I have the rare privilege of being a former member of both the Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. My father rejoined the JWs when I was in eighth grade, and I studied with them through high school, but left without being baptized (thankfully, allowing me to avoid being disfellowshipped and shunned).

One of my close friends just after high school was Mormon. I went to a couple of YSA activities with him, and drove him to evening classes a few times (sitting out in the lobby reading a book while he was in class). Also attended FHE where they showed the "Families are Forever" slideshow/video. On the way home from that one, I said "I gotta ask...what the hell was that crap?"

In early 1999, I was really depressed due to bad luck with jobs and dating (I had been on a total of maybe two "dates" by that point). Despite him being in a similar situation to me, he always seemed happy. One day I jokingly asked him, "You can't hold down a job, you have no money, no girlfriend, you live with your Mom, and yet you're always happy! WHY?" That started my initiation of the Mormon church.

I went to another FHE event (with a better video this time), and started meeting with the missionaries soon after. I became a "golden contact", always wanting to meet with them a day or two after our last discussion, rather than the usual week. My father, perfectly content with me being non-religious after leaving the JWs five years earlier, suddenly started arguing with me over Mormon beliefs he'd heard from a friend (who was ex-Mormon then...he ended up coming back years later). He finally got to the point of telling me he wouldn't pay for my college courses or let me live at home if I joined the church, so naturally I quit going to school and told him I'd pay rent until I could move out.

I took this opposition as proof that I was doing the right thing, being well trained as a JW that any persecution must be the Devil getting worried about losing you. Also, I read a lot of anti-Mormon material at the time, but was able to argue against it enough that I dismissed the rest. Basically it was slightly harder to disprove Mormon beliefs than JW ones. And I do mean slightly - but especially when my father gave me the JW’s “anti-Mormon” Watchtower article, and I was able to rip it to shreds without any help from my friend or the missionaries, I took that as proof that I was on the right track.

I got baptized at my friend's ward, and loved it there. Lots of very nice people, including the bishop, who on learning that I was interested in a mission but had already accrued some credit card debt, asked if I would serve a mission if the debt was paid off for me. I was flattered, but said (half out of responsibility, half out of fear of going on a mission so quickly) that I'd prefer to pay off the debt myself first.

Shortly after my baptism, I got a new job, and was offered a room for rent in a house with another member two blocks away from work! (My car had recently died, so I took this also as a direct blessing from God, since I could walk or ride my bike to work.) The downside of this blessing was being told by my friend's bishop that I now had to report to a new ward. This new ward included a bishop who was an elementary school principal (and thus seemed to treat his congregation like unruly children), very few people my age that had anything in common with me, and a nice guy I had met in college who turned out to be insane. (He tried to get me to watch conspiracy videos and buy MLM vitamins. He and his wife also tried to teach some of the conspiracy theories in Sunday School, and were removed from teaching the following week...shortly afterward, he left with several other people from the congregation and moved to rural Utah to form a commune. I suspect this may involve polygamy, but am not sure.)

Meanwhile I tried to fit in with the YSA crowd, and had a few close friends, mostly the same group that I played role-playing games with at my first Mormon friend's house. My first roommate, who also held FHE at our house, moved out a month after I moved in. I tried to continue the FHE, but people stopped coming after two weeks. (I was shy to begin with, and not very good at planning fun things other than movies or board games.) I went on a couple more dates, but it became clear that not having served a mission was a huge mark against me. They even had a couple of “MTV’s Singled Out”-like events, and the first thing the girl chose every time was “he has to be an RM”.

I met with my bishop a few times talking about my desire to serve a mission, but not being able to afford it, or being worthy to serve one. I was assigned a Stake Missionary calling, possibly as a way to make up for that. I drove the missionaries around once or twice a week for some of their appointments. I actually enjoyed that most of the time...but it wasn’t enough. Less than two years in, I started to fade. In July 2011, my job was lost when the office closed, and I was unemployed for six months. Shortly after 9/11 I asked my bishop for help getting a job, and he complained at me for not wanting to take a job that paid less than my unemployment (which could only pay rent and nothing else! I lived off canned goods and my father’s charity that entire time, how could I take a job that paid LESS?). When I told him I was thinking of joining the military, he said “why, so you can kil the bad guys?” I was so furious with him over that that I pretty much quit church for 5-6 months.

Early next year I started going back to YSA events, and finally met a girl that liked me, and we started dating. I made an attempt to get back on the “worthy” path, and was able to get a recommend to do temple baptisms. But she broke up with me just over a month later, for apparently no reason (at least she would never give me any), and shortly after started dating our friend, an RM, who she eventually married.

I was devastated for months, but kept trying to stay active. I went back to my friend’s bishop and asked him if his offer to help me pay off debt was still available, but was turned down. I tried to switch wards to one I felt comfortable in. That bishop told me I was welcome to visit, but couldn’t have any callings outside my own ward. (Around this time I was also told that my current bishop and ward had one of the worst reputations in the city.) I resigned myself, and went back to my own bishop asking for a calling, and was given chair set-up duty.

The final straw - Being extremely shy, I had only borne my testimony a couple of times in four years, but I wanted to get up there and express my gratitude for having a calling again, no matter how small. I attempted to open with a mild joke about how early it was, and the bishop leaned forward and cut me off midway through! “Don’t talk about how early it is!” He looked pissed...I was totally shocked, and trying to figure out how to proceed, when he smiled and said “just kidding”. To this day I’m not sure if he really was joking, but the damage was done. I ended as quick as I could, and as soon as the service was over, left and never went back.

It wasn’t until after I’d left for good that I read more of the anti-Mormon material and realized how messed up it was. I eventually came to the realization that all religions are pretty much the same in varying degrees, and became an atheist.

I kept in touch with a few of my Mormon friends over the years, but either lost contact or cut it off with most of them. I’m now back to just the one, who started it all, and was friends with me before the whole mess. I’m glad he’s a true friend, and not a conditional one. And he’s still happy.

Now I’m ahappily married to another atheist, and overjoyed to be free from controlling religions.