Just wanted to throw in my little story as maybe someone is in my previous situation and needs help deciding what to do.
I started dating an LDS girl in highschool (as I come from a heavily LDS populated area in Idaho). I knew she was mormon and she knew I was not but we were just kids "in love". As we graduated, the pressure became greater on me from her and her family about being LDS. I guess you can say I knew there would have to be a time when a decision needed to be made but I kept putting it off for another day. I joined the Army and she went to Rick's college (now BYU Idaho). After about 6 months in the Army and we had been dating almost 3 years the pressure was now really on, she wanted to get married, and she wanted to get married in the temple.
I think the hardest part of the whole situation was telling my parents about what I was thinking of doing, as they were not too enthused, to say the least. So I started taking the missionary lessons as per my girlfriends request. Then, after not understanding all of it, I took them again. Finally, still being confused about the whole religion and how it was founded, I decided to...Take the missionary lessons again. The only part I really remember from those lessons (as it was over 10 years ago this all took place) is the missionaries telling me to go home and pray about it. So I did. I tried, I really did, but got no answer. Then the next lesson would come and they would ask me how I felt now that I prayed about about it. I remember wanting to just get it done with and not wanting any extra commentary about it so I would reply; "Good."
Anyways, time went on and I ended up getting baptized. By this point I was really only doing it to get married to this particular girl. Then we got engaged and started planning the wedding. All this time went by and I still knew in my gut I still had a decision to make, but I'm a good procrastinator (sorry if my spelling is wrong in this story). The wedding invitations went out and we were slated to get married in the SLC Temple in June of 2001, one month away. At this time I was still in the Army stationed in Missouri and she, still in Idaho so most of this took place doing the whole long distance relationship thing.
My parents were really sad that they could not attend the wedding, as they were not members and it was being held in the temple.
Then the day came. Decision day. One month before the wedding and again after invitations had been sent out.
I really needed to tell her but couldnt just drive down the street to see her, as we were hundreds of miles apart. Didn't want to tell her over the phone, was afraid my message wouldn't be understood or heard properly. I started to write an email, I wasn't really planning on sending it but the words wouldn't stop appearing on my screen as I typed away. Now the hard part, clicking the send button. Still to this day one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, I did love her. And as I explained in my email, it wasn't her, it was the religion. I was even still willing to marry her but I didn't want to be LDS. So the cursor sat hovering over the send button for about an hour and finally...."click".
Got a reply back about an hour or so later, I wass called every name in the book. Then the phone call telling me she was sorry and had just purchased a plane ticket to see me the next day so we could go see the Bishop. I explained to her that my decision was for the best for both of us and there was no changing my mind. So she got out to Missouri and we spent the next day as though nothing had happened because we hadn't seen each other in awhile and were both kind of in denial I guess. The following day we met with the bishop, even though I was really against it. The Bishop flat out told me that I was going to hell for not being LDS. I replied.."I'll see you there", as I was a bit upset at that remark. This was the nail in the coffin, I wanted nothing to do with that religion and became unwilling to listen to any other religions as well. So, I told her my decision was final and had to remain firm, even though her pain broke my heart. We toyed around with the idea of still getting married each with our own seperate beliefs, but then the comment came from her family that maybe one day I would change my mind. Thats when I relized it wasn't going to work at all and there would always be the pressure there. I wouldn't be happy and she wouldn't be happy, then you have to think about your children and how they would be raised and which church they would go to. So I broke it off completely.
While this was a tough decision and I still miss and think of her now and then it was the best for both of us. I am now happily married and she got married in the temple to a return missionary. It's sad that things like religion have to come between people, which is why I am no longer affiliated with any church, though I do believe in God. I saw the LDS religion as nothing more than a business as are many other churches.
So if you are someone in a similar situation as this, just remember it is much harder to un-do something that has already been done. Make your decision wisely, although if you are reading posts on this website, it sounds as though you have already made your choice, you just need to act on it.