Exmormon Bios  : RfM
Exmormon's exit stories about how and why they left the church. 
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Posted by: smithmeister1800 ( )
Date: November 05, 2016 01:55AM

Hello all, I was just wondering if anyone else had as difficult a time as I did in getting away from the Church.

Now, I don't mean difficult in the sense that you had this difficult inner battle over your decision. No, I had no problem with that.

I'm talking about the difficulty in getting the Chirch to leave you the hell alone! The last time I stepped foot in a Mormon church to actually attend services was probably in about the 8th or 9th grade. After I went off to college, missionaries would suddenly show up, ask for me by name, and ask if there was anything they could do for me...no, I would tell them, not interested.

I later got married to a non-Mormon, and still they would show up at every new place we lived, asking for me. Mind you, I NEVER kept them updated with my new addresses, much less asked them to stop by.

A few years went by and I formally converted to my wife's religion. Still they kept coming, even after telling them I was now another religion.

Finally, we moved across the country, never told the Church, yet sure enough, up came members of the local ward, 2,000 miles away, asking for me! And, of course, when my non-Mormon wife answered the door all these years, they didn't want to give her the time of day. If I wasn't home or able to come to the door, my wife barely (if she was lucky) got the courtesy of a "Thank you" before they turned around and left.

After years of this, finally one of the local members who came to the door told me if did not want to be approached any more, I had to give them a formal written resignation to put in my record. I guess I didn't realize I had any type of legal duty to clarify things with them to avoid the harassment I constantly rejected at every visit...I would have thought my repeated rebuffs to their visits and conversion to another religion would have made it pretty darn clear, but so be it. I wrote a simple resignation letter and handed it to the man. I haven't heard anything since.

Anyone else find it this difficult to get out? Of course, dealing with family still in the church remains a tough issue, though I have had it easier than many since my family is generally pretty open minded and hasn't played the shunning game with me.

Finally, I wanted to offer one of my favorite quotes, generally attributed to Marcus Aurelius, which guides my philosophy and hopefully will help those struggling with the fear that they might go to hell because they "turned their back" on the "true church." So here's the quote:

"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. I am not afraid."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2016 02:00AM by smithmeister1800.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: December 29, 2016 08:49PM

The "discussion" on this site mainly takes place on the Recovery Board (which is designed for discussion), so if you post your same questions over there, you will very probably receive far more response than if you just posted here.

Welcome to RfM, smithmeister!

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