Date: April 10, 2017 11:15AM
I was raised Mormon but it wasn't the center of our family. My mother liked being Mormon but didn't push it while my Father would have nothing to do with the LDS church. I sporadically attended LDS functions as a teenager but my only goals were to meet and date girls. No story there but the normal teen angst. I went to college in Utah (not BYU) for reasons I don't really understand myself. After I graduated, I married my college girlfriend who was TBM. Her parents were also TBM, one a convert and the other a Daughter of a Pioneer. I really didn't know what I was getting into. It became very clear, the family was crazy. Everything was how they appeared to friends and neighbors but inside the home,they were extremely dysfunctional. What non-Mormons don't understand is the goal and only goal is to get their non believing spouses to convert or get married in the temple, there is no middle ground. After having children, I tried to negotiate some middle ground with the amount of influence the LDS church should have on our family. I had a little success but nothing major. We got divorced, not because of the Mormon religion but it played a part.
I was now really in for shock, not only did all her Mormon friends disassociate from me but they started lining up to help my ex-wife take the children. You can't believe the different things I was accused of. After I was continually pushed into a corner, I hired the best (Mormon) attorney in Utah I could find and went to court. Spent every dollar I had and won custody.
20 years later....
-is on 4th husband (5th major relationship)
-converted to another religion
-tells the kids (now adults) the mormon religion is crazy
I stay friendly with her mostly because holding grudges as you get older is wasted energy. I also understand she was brought up in a religion she had no control over. In my opinion, the Church really messed her up emotionally. The children are basically non-religious, have nice jobs, etc, etc. My ex-wife and I were drinking wine at our son's wedding and I did tell her, "you are not Mormon, drink and have sex, that would have really helped our marriage." She didn't say anything.