Date: March 26, 2018 10:48AM
After spending entire life in this religion, I just do not believe any more. This has been a process over the last 3-5 years. Several things led to this.
I went to BYU for 1 year, married in the temple, and was very "active". Things began to really change 3 years ago when I was having serious marital and financial problems. During this time, I went to 3 different bishops. I discovered how unequally men and women were counseled. He was told to pray and read scriptures more. I was told to be more "supportive" of my husband during his shortcomings and to repent. We both made mistakes. His were bigger.(My husband agrees that his mistakes were bigger.) Why was I being the only one counseled to repent. We went to a Mormon marriage counselor. That made things worse. The counselor encouraged the "patriarchal" role of husband in the family. We stopped going and found another secular marriage counselor. Now we are making awesome progress mending our marriage. My husband is leaving this church with me.
I also told bishops 10% was a lot of money. I couldn't pay my bills and we were in bankruptcy. He said is was not about money but about faith. If I prayed with real intent, the Spirit would testify of truth. After 2 year of praying with sincerity, I realized this method simply did not work. I had an aha moment when leaning about the effects of the nervous system on the emotions and physical body in one of my college classes. I just completed an associates degree in mental health. Feeling the spirit is activations of nervous system.
Then I started reading about the history of the church. Whoa, there are a lot of discrepancies and problems.
Still trying to break free. My parents and my husbands parents are devout Mormons. We still have a ways to go.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2018 10:51AM by mpkindheart.